When The Sun Sets
by xxxooo
Summary: Twilight Retold: Bella Swan is sick and moves to Forks to spend her last days with her dad. She was fine with what fate has brought her -- until she falls in love with Edward Cullen. Twilight with a hint of A Walk To Remember. Thanks for the reviews! :
1. Goodbyes

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**_

**1 – Goodbyes**

~ Bella ~

I hated goodbyes. I never saw where the good was in goodbye. Goodbyes meant parting. Leaving. Possibly not seeing each other again. And I hated the thought of it.

_Flight 5J513 is now ready for boarding._

I stood up and slung my carry on over my shoulder. "I promise I'll call, Mom. So much you're gonna get sick of talking to me on your phone."

Renee smiled through her tears and hugged me. Her eyes were rimmed with red, and they looked puffy. Hmmm. She must have been crying all night. "Please take care of yourself, sweetie."

I laughed. My mother was never the mature one between the two of us, and I always ended up taking care of her and being her mom. Mixed up, I know, but I didn't really mind. I loved her to death. "Really, Mom, you need to worry about yourself more than me. Don't forget to pick up your jacket at the dry cleaners this weekend, okay?" I turned to Phil, my mother's boyfriend. "Will you make sure she eats something other than microwaved food?"

Phil smiled and gave me a hug. "Of course, kiddo. Take care." I could see he looked teary-eyed too.

I smiled. Phil was a good guy. I was glad my mom had him.

The last call for boarding of my flight was announced. My cue.

"All right, guys, this is it," I said, trying not to think of the tears that were threatening to fall. "I gotta go or I'll miss my plane." I gave them each a last hug and proceeded to board the plane.

"Don't forget your medication, Bella," my mom called out. "And say hi to Charlie for us."

I smiled and waved in acknowledgment.

I sighed as I walked past the smiling flight attendant. The flight from Phoenix to Port Angeles was sure to be a long one for me with only my sullen thoughts keeping me company. I plopped down on my window seat and tried to find a comfortable position. I had boarded pretty late, so after a few minutes, the plane took off. I gazed out the window as the plane shot into the air, thinking of the life I was leaving behind. Not much of a life, really. Just my Mom, Phil, and the Arizona sunshine. I didn't have too many friends since I was on the shy side. After watching the place where I grew up disappear beneath me, I put on my headphones and closed my eyes, listening to the music, wishing it would soothe my nerves.

I wonder what Forks will be like now, I mused. Forks was a couple of hours drive from Port Angeles. It was where my father, Charlie, lived. Mom left him there when they got divorced sixteen years ago, when I was only a year old. I'd spent every summer there until I was about twelve because the point of summer was the sun, and Forks hardly had any. So technically, I hadn't seen my dad in five years.

Now I was seeing him again. Maybe for the last time.

Saying goodbye to my mom had been really difficult. I wasn't crying in the airport because I had to be strong for her. Now I let the tears spill. I wiped my cheeks and sniffed quietly. I couldn't help but feel like that goodbye was the last goodbye. I didn't think I'd ever see my mom again.

My mom sent me to Forks so I could spend time with Charlie, saying that Charlie misses me tons. But I knew what was really going on. She sent me to Forks to say goodbye to Charlie too.

She didn't want me to miss saying goodbye to my dad.

She wanted me to see him, spend time with him. Before it was too late.

Before I died.


	2. Princess

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**_

**2 – Princess**

~ Bella ~

I arrived in Port Angeles a little past seven o'clock in the evening. I set down my suitcase and put on my jacket as I searched the crowd for Charlie.

"Bells!" I heard someone yell. That had to be Charlie. I looked over in the direction of the voice and spotted him in his police uniform. My dad has been Forks' chief police for as long as I could remember.

I picked up my suitcase and walked over to where he was standing.

He gave me an awkward hug. "Hey, kiddo. It's been long," he said. And then he looked at me up and down. "Too long. Look at how you've grown!" He ruffled my hair affectionately.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, Dad."

He laughed. "All right, all right. Come on, let's get going. I got some steak for you at home. I figured there was no way you could get full over plane food." He picked up my suitcase and we started walking towards the parking lot.

"Thanks," I said. It wasn't too difficult to spot Charlie's police car. It stood out in every crowd. Well, crowd of cars. I'd have to remember to tell Charlie about buying myself a car. I had some money saved up, and I refused to be chauffeured around in a police car.

We were silent for most of the way to Forks, with little bits of conversation here and there about what I've been up to lately. I could see he carefully avoided the topic of my health. "By the way, I already signed you up for high school, Bells," he said when we passed by Forks High School. "You shouldn't have a hard time finding the school. It's here, right in the highway. You might even find that you'd like to walk in the rain to school everyday." He smiled and winked at me.

My jaw dropped. Was he serious? Walk in the rain everyday? Show up at school looking like a drowned rat everyday? Not that I was going to be around long enough to really worry about my reputation, but still. Being remembered as "the girl who showed up wet to school everyday" was hardly my idea of a good last impression.

"Or I could always drive you to school if the rain's too heavy," he continued cheerfully. He rounded the familiar corner and I could see our house in the distance.

I gaped. "Walk in the rain? But, Dad, I'm sick," I protested. I hardly ever used the I'm-sick-excuse whenever I wanted something, but I was desperate this time.

"Well, the doctors said you should have a normal life, honey," Charlie replied with a smirk. He slowed the car to a stop in front of the house.

There was a car parked in front of our house. A dark blue car. A two-door Honda Civic EK3 hatchback car. The car I wanted to buy. Which I mentioned to Renee a couple of times.

"Are we having some company?" I asked, eyeing the car suspiciously.

"Oh, you mean the car?" he asked nonchalantly as he turned the engine off. "That's yours."

My jaw dropped open again. I hadn't even talked to him about buying myself a car yet. "Mine? You bought me a car?" Oh. My. God. I loved it.

He chuckled. "I thought it would be perfect for you. Your mom told me you had parking problems so I didn't get you a big car. This used to be Harry Clearwater's car. He bought it brand new ten years ago. Said he needed a big ride with Seth and Leah all grown up now, so I bought it for you."

I swallowed in shock. "You really bought me a car." A nice car that I wouldn't be ashamed to drive around. Heck, I'd even be proud to drive it around Forks.

Charlie took in my shocked expression and laughed. "It's your homecoming present. You didn't think I was really gonna let you walk in the rain, did you, Princess?" He kissed the top of my head.

I smiled wistfully. He always called me Princess when I was little, stopping only when I told him I was getting too old for the nickname. I felt my heart swell with gratitude. I mean, let's face it, a Chief Police in Forks doesn't really make a lot of money. So I know this must have dented his savings. "Thanks, Dad. I absolutely love it."

"Anytime, Princess. Anytime."


	3. First Glance

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**_

**3 - First Glance**

~ Bella ~

I woke up the next morning and started to get ready for school. I didn't really put much attention into what I was wearing – I wasn't into clothes much. I grabbed my black jacket, skipped down and stairs and went into the kitchen. Charlie had left a note for me.

_Bells,_

_Cereal in the cupboard. Milk in the fridge._

_Food money in the jar next to the cookie jar._

_See you later,_

_Dad_

I chuckled, remembering that Charlie was hopeless in the kitchen. I fixed myself a bowl of cereal and ate it, thinking about things.

Technically, I really didn't have to go to school anymore. The doctor had said I had about six months to live, a year if I got lucky. They had found out about my leukemia at a very late stage, and it was too late to do anything. At first it really scared me. I would cry myself to sleep every night, worrying what would happen to Renee when I died. I would look at the other girls in my class and wonder what it would be like to grow up. To travel the world. To meet different people. To meet someone special. To get married. To have kids. I knew that would never happen to me, and I felt terrible. But as time wore on, I pretty much accepted what my fate had landed me. Now I was just making the most of the time I had left.

I washed out my bowl, picked up my jacket and my bag. I took a deep breath as I opened the door and stepped out into the sunlight. Err—make that rain. It still hadn't registered to my brain that I was no longer in sunny Arizona, but in rainy Forks. I carefully made my way to my new car, admiring it as I walked slowly. Even though I was walking slowly, I tripped and almost fell. I had terrible balance.

Charlie was right, I didn't have trouble finding the school at all. I drove slowly since the roads were slick with the rain. I parked my car next to a nice silver Volvo and made my way to the registrar's office.

Mrs. Cope was a lovely woman in her forties. She was the school registrar and she was really nice. "Hello!" she greeted as I entered her office.

"Hi," I said warily. "I'm Bella Swan. This is my first day." My hands felt clammy. They always felt clammy whenever I was nervous.

"Of course," Mrs. Cope responded warmly. She took some papers here and there, and arranged them into a neat pile. "Welcome to Forks High School, dear. Chief Swan was so excited when he enrolled you to school." She smiled brightly.

I smiled back uncomfortably. I wondered if she was really nice, or if she was being nice because she knew I was sick. I was paranoid that way. I didn't want people to know I was sick because I wanted them to be real around me. I didn't want anyone to be nice just because I was sick. Besides, I hated extra attention.

She handed me the stack of papers she had arranged. "Here, Bella dear," she said. "Most of these are from your teachers, readings you have to do and a little homework to catch up on. This is your schedule, and this is a map of the school. It's pretty easy to make your way around here. If you ever feel yourself getting lost, don't worry. I'm sure the other kids wouldn't mind helping a pretty belle like you. Especially the boys." She winked at me, and smiled reassuringly.

I felt my stomach flutter with little butterflies at the mention of boys. I've never fallen in love. I've never even been out on a date. I was too shy to say yes whenever someone asked me out. And when I found out I was sick, I'd pretty much shut out the idea of boys. I didn't want to get attached anymore. What was the point? I was only going to be gone soon.

But I smiled at her in return. I couldn't help it, her friendliness was contagious. "Thank you, Mrs. Cope."

I made it through the morning, making some friends along the way. Eric was a shy boy who had walked me to my every class since he said most of his classes were just near mine. Mike Newton was a cute and nice boy, and he was in most of my classes. Jessica was in my Algebra class, and she loved to talk nonstop. Which was fine with me since I didn't really like to talk much. And then there was Angela, who was as quiet and shy as I was, but also really nice. People here were friendlier compared to the kids in Phoenix.

I entered the cafeteria during lunch time with Jessica beside me. She chattered on about her crush on Mike. I tuned her out and looked around the cafeteria. The school was mostly made up of the usual cliques – there was a table of cheerleaders, and next to that was a table of jocks. There was a table of kids in glasses reading thick books, and there was a table with goth-looking kids. There was a table with punk kids who were talking loudly, and there was a table with hiphop kids made up mostly of boys. Most tables, I was glad, were occupied by normal-looking kids. And then I saw them.

They were far from normal-looking. There were five of them sitting in a table, and they looked surreal. Almost too beautiful to be real. They were pale and they looked like movie stars. Wow.

Jessica must have noticed me staring, because she nudged me. "Didn't take you that long to notice the Cullens, eh?" She giggled. "Emmett is the big guy and Jasper is the blond guy. They're both off limits since they're dating those girls. Rosalie is the blonde, and Alice is the pixie. Edward is the bronze-haired guy. I think he's single, but even the prettiest cheerleader here never seemed to catch his fancy."

I continued to stare at them as Jessica chattered away. They looked like live mannequins, each feature of their faces so perfect.

"It's weird, though. Because they're all adopted but they look the same, they're all so pale and beautiful. But they shouldn't look the same since they're just adopted. Maybe it's an Alaska thing," Jessica observed. She giggled. "I wonder what it's like to date your brother. Well, not a real brother since they aren't really related." She prattled on, almost like she was talking to herself instead of me. "I bet their father practiced cosmetic surgery on all of them, which is why they all look like that. He's a doctor," she said conspiratorially. "Or maybe they're Greek gods. Who knows?"

I was like a deer caught in headlights. I couldn't stop staring at them. They were all so beautiful. As I stared, the boy named Edward slowly turned and looked my way. He held my gaze from across the cafeteria and smiled a crooked smile. I felt the rest of the world disappear around me. He was all I could see.

Oh. My. God.

Definitely a Greek god.


	4. Brown Eyes

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**_

**4 - Brown Eyes**

~ Edward ~

I parked my Volvo near the registrar's office, and got out. The rest of my family got out of the car too, even though we were a good ten minutes early. Even though they had cars of their own, my brothers and sisters rode with me because we wanted to keep out of attention as much as possible.

"_See you later, Edward_," my favorite sister Alice thought, and Jasper nodded at me. She linked her arm with Jasper's and they both headed to class.

"_Later, bro_," thought Emmett, my brother, while looking into Rosalie's eyes. Ugh. Were those two ever going to let up?

"_Try not to be too bored_," sneered Rosalie in her thoughts. Me and Rose never got along too well. Even though we've lived for decades together, Rose was someone who was too shallow for her own good. I guess being the most beautiful girl in the world for decades (literally) did that to you.

I never looked forward to school. I guess some eighty years of high school could get boring. School for me was like my form of sleep, since we technically couldn't sleep. Of course, I couldn't really tune everything out just like that. Since I was the only one who could read minds, I still had to listen to people's thoughts and look out for my family. We didn't want people knowing our secret. Even though we never drank human blood, nobody would be too thrilled to find out we were vampires, after all. To them, we were nothing but monsters.

Practically every person's mind was filled with the same thought that morning. Was Isabella Swan already here? How does she look like? Isabella Swan, from what I gathered, was Chief Swan's only daughter who decided to come back here after sixteen years.

I breezed through the entire morning, bored. But not as much as I usually was. I was finding the students' minds a little interesting that morning.

_I saw Isabella! She's pretty, maybe she would go out with me._

_I can't believe I walked Bella to her first class. I mean, she's a girl._ I had to chuckle at that one. Sounded like Bella had let some shy nerd walk her to class. Nice girl.

_Bella Swan seems nice. She's quiet, though. Like me._

_Why are all the boys making a big deal? I'm prettier than Bella Swan._

_Bella seems like a sweet girl. I'm definitely asking her out. Mike seems interested in her. But I'll beat him to it._

I was pretty amused by the time I sat down on our usual table at the cafeteria. No one else ever dared to sit down at that table. Everyone knew it was where the Cullens sat. And while we were constantly amazing them in one way or another, most people were actually intimidated by us and never got close.

"Anything on the new girl yet?" Emmett murmured under his breath, making sure only us could hear him. Rose toyed with his collar.

I shook my head. I half smiled at the thought of the new girl. I hadn't seen her yet, I'd only heard descriptions in the other kids' minds. I heard she had long hair all the way down to her waist, and she had pretty brown eyes.

Suddenly Alice giggled. I glanced at her. "What?"

She shook her head and smiled a little smugly. "Let's just say you're gonna have a little surprise this afternoon."

I groaned. I wasn't the only talented vampire in the family. Alice could see the future. And apparently, she saw something amusing happening this afternoon that involved me. I wish I'd paid attention to what she was thinking – I could have seen the future too.

_No, Edward Cullen's face could never be fake. Maybe he's a Greek god._

My head snapped up when I heard my name. I knew that voice. It belonged to a girl named Jessica. She was a loud and annoying girl, a typical airhead. Seems like she's giving the new girl the lowdown on the Cullen family.

Greek god. I laughed a little. That was funny.

Out of curiosity, I glanced to where Jessica's thoughts were coming from. I was immediately drawn to the girl beside her. The new girl.

Isabella Swan.

I met her gaze across the room and held it. I really couldn't help it. I smiled. Pretty brown eyes didn't do her justice.

They were deep. They were thoughtful. They bore into her soul.

They were endlessly beautiful.

And suddenly, for the first time in eighty years, I felt like I had to catch my breath.


	5. First Times

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**_

**5 - First Times**

~ Edward ~

I sat in my Biology class, waiting for the teacher to start the lecture. Over the buzz of the students, I heard her name.

_Oh, so Bella Swan's going to be in my class. Better get a move on before Tyler does. Tyler won't beat me this time._

It was Mike Newton. I shook my head. Poor Bella. It sounded like she was being turned into a competition between Mike and Tyler.

So Bella would be in this class. My Biology class. I couldn't believe myself when I started to look forward. No, look forward was putting it lightly. I was very excited to see her. To look into her endless brown eyes.

As if on cue, Isabella Swan entered the classroom with her head down. Her hair covered most of her face, so I couldn't see her eyes. She approached the teacher. "Hi, I'm Bella Swan," she said softly.

It was the first time I heard her voice. She sounded like a shy angel, with her voice soft like that.

"Of course, you are," Mr. Burns replied with a smile. He signed the slip that Bella handed to him. "Why don't you go over and sit next to Mr. Cullen? Seems like it's the only available seat."

Bella nodded and glanced shyly at me. She slowly made her way down the aisle. As she neared my table, she looked up and glanced at me again. Her shoe caught the leg of Mike Newton's chair and she tripped, almost stumbling. "Oops," she said, her face turning scarlet.

As she bent down to pick up her books, I caught a whiff of her scent.

My throat burned with thirst. Unbelievable thirst.

Her blood smelled so sweetly like freesia. It was the most appealing blood I had smelled in all of my existence. Suddenly, I felt the monster in me threatening to escape. The monster wanted to kill her, wanted to drink her sweet blood. In my head, I saw myself crouching, my eyes red instead of golden brown. I imagined how her blood would taste. The next thing I knew, I was thinking of ways to lure her, to kill her. Trying really hard, I shook the feeling off. I had to. I had no choice. I could never destroy what my father Carlisle has built for us.

This was bad. Really bad.

I have never struggled so hard to resist human blood before. Never. And it had to happen now. To a human with the most beautiful brown eyes.

My throat burned each time I took a breath. I closed my eyes and gripped my table, breathing slowly. Inhale. Burn. Exhale. Inhale. Burn. Exhale.

I stole a glance at her, and sure enough, she was staring at me. Concern and uncertainty filled her eyes. I wondered what she was thinking. Was she afraid of me? Could she see the monster inside that I was trying so hard to resist? She must think I'm crazy. I looked crazy. Wait—what was that again?

I wondered what she was thinking.

_I wondered what she was thinking._

Why was I wondering what she was thinking? Wasn't I supposed to read minds? Hear thoughts?

I momentarily forgot about my thirst for her amazingly sweet blood as I sifted through the buzz in my head, trying to find her thoughts. But I couldn't. Was there something wrong with me? Why couldn't I hear her thoughts?

Again, this was the first time I couldn't hear someone's thoughts.

I stared at her, and still, she stared right back. What was wrong with this girl? Most humans never stared back at us. Most humans were intimidated.

"Are you okay?" Bella whispered softly. Her forehead wrinkled a little, and her eyes filled with concern. She didn't look scared of me.

My stomach flipped at the sound of her voice. _Force yourself to breathe, Edward,_ I told myself. _Talk to her._

Inhale. Burn. Exhale. Inhale. Burn. Exhale.

I smiled. Or at least, I tried to smile. "Hello. You must be Bella. I'm Edward Cullen."

Immediately, thoughts around us erupted into a frenzy.

_Ohmigod! He's talking to her!_

_Edward Cullen is actually talking to someone? Amazing!_

_Oh, man. Don't tell me Cullen's into her too._

"How do you know my name?" she demanded. Her brows furrowed, and her eyes flashed with confusion. She gazed at me, waiting for my response.

Damn. I don't what I wouldn't give to know her exact thoughts.

I swallowed, trying to bury the intense burning sensation I felt. I smiled again, amused at her bewildered expression. Surely, she must be thinking I was a stalker of some sort. I chuckled a little, amused that I had to guess what she was thinking. "Everyone knows who you are, Bella. Everyone knows your dad."

She sighed. "Yeah, I guess." She looked down and fiddled with the pages of her notebook. She shifted in her seat and faced the teacher, waiting for him to start the lecture. She looked uncomfortable, like she wanted to be somewhere else.

I continued to look at her. Funny, when I'm looking at her and trying to figure her out, it was almost like I could forget my thirst for her blood. Not quite, but almost.

"You don't like the attention?" I asked, wanting to know more. I wanted to know all there was to know about this girl. Clearly, there was something behind those deep but guarded brown eyes.

Bella turned to me in surprise, like she was shocked that I was still talking to her. I was shocked myself. This was the first time I had spoken to a human out of curiosity and interest, not because of pleasantries.

But I couldn't help it. She mesmerized me.


	6. Friends

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**_

**6 - Friends**

~ Bella ~

"You don't like the attention?" Edward Cullen asked, his voice velvety and soft.

I looked at him in surprise. Why was this Greek god still talking to me? I thought he was just being nice, introducing himself.

"No, not really," I responded shyly. I looked down and fidgeted with the pages of my book again. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye.

He was smiling a little. "You're shy." It wasn't a question, it was an observation. His butterscotch eyes sparkled as he said this. It seemed to amuse him that I was shy.

I nodded in agreement, and then frowned. "And you find that amusing," I accused.

Edward chuckled. "Yes, I do."

"Why?"

"I just do," he replied easily. He had a half smile on his face. "So why did you decide to move here?"

"Oh," I said, completely taken aback. Nobody had ever asked me that question the entire day. Though I knew that was a question I would have to answer, I hadn't thought of the proper reply. I certainly didn't want to tell anyone I was sick. I'd hate to have everyone stare at me and be all sympathetic.

"Well, my mother seemed to think I needed to spend time with my dad," I answered carefully. I wasn't lying. That was the reason why she sent me here in the first place.

Edward looked at me thoughtfully, as if trying to read my face. "But you don't like it here?"

"I don't really like the rain," I explained. I was amazed at how easy it was to answer his questions. I wasn't feeling all too shy anymore. Maybe making friends wasn't so bad.

"Or the cold, right?"

I nodded. I didn't like the cold mainly because I could easily catch a flu, which could easily turn into pneumonia. My immune system was all mixed up because of my leukemia.

Edward took a deep breath, and the pained expression in his face returned.

I frowned. Surely I didn't smell that bad. I mean, I took a shower this morning. "Do I smell?" I asked stupidly.

Edward's eyes widened in shock, and then crinkled in amusement. He let out a musical laugh. "Quite the contrary," he said smoothly. He laughed again, and shook his head, as if he had some private joke. Which maybe he did.

"Then you must not be okay," I said. He looked at me questioningly. "Your eyes," I explained. "They look pained each time you take deep breaths."

Edward stared at me for what seemed like the longest time. "You are observant."

What was that supposed to mean? "You mean, I really do smell?" I demanded. I caught a fistful of my hair and sniffed. I didn't smell bad. My hair smelled like flowers because of my shampoo.

Edward chuckled again, still staring at me.

I brought my fingers up to my locket, tracing the heart shape. I always did this when I was nervous. Or in this case, self conscious. "If you were a good friend, you'd tell me the truth," I said, pleading with my eyes.

He didn't say anything for hours. Or it seemed that way. His eyes flashed different emotions so fast, I couldn't even begin to decipher. He seemed to be considering his next response.

Oh, God. Did I really smell? This was so embarrassing. And it didn't help that he was the most gorgeous guy I've ever seen.

Not that I cared that he was unbelievably gorgeous. No, not at all. I didn't care about things like that anymore. I didn't care that he had a velvety soft voice. I didn't care about his musical laugh either. Or how I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away from his every time he looked into mine.

"Friend," Edward said thoughtfully. His eyes was now void of all emotion, looking flat and distant. "I wouldn't be a good friend for you, Bella."

I felt blood ooze up my neck and fill my cheeks. I never felt so embarrassed in my entire life. See, this was exactly why I didn't make friends. I was poor at making friends. Just when I thought I was making progress. Oh, well. Who wanted Edward as a friend, anyway?

I did.

But he clearly didn't want to be my friend. No, I probably wasn't good enough.

I stared at him angrily. "Fine," I said curtly. I purposely shifted my chair so that it very slightly turned away from him.

Thankfully, Mr. Burns started the lecture, making it impossible for Edward to talk to me without getting reprimanded.

Not that he would try to talk to me.

He didn't want to be my friend.


	7. Surprise

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**_

**7 – Surprise**

~ Edward ~

"Fine," Bella said somewhat angrily. Her cheeks were tinted with red, making her even prettier. Not to mention more appealing. The burn in my throat intensified.

She positioned her chair so that it faced away from me. She was angry.

I wanted to console her, but didn't know how. How could I possibly explain why I wouldn't be a good friend?

_I'm terribly sorry, Bella, but you're amazingly appetizing. I wouldn't be a good friend because I might end up having you for dinner. Or I might break your arm with my super strength. Maybe crack your skull if I'm not feeling too good. Surely, you understand, right?_

I shook my head. It was well and good that she was angry, anyway. The last thing I needed was a human friend. With my family always leaving, we were always careful never to attach ourselves to anyone. That, plus the fact that human blood was the very thing that we tried our hardest to resist being the "vegetarians" that we are.

Out of the corner of my eye, I kept staring at Bella. Although she kept her eyes trailed on Mr. Burns most of the time, I would catch her stealing a quick glance at me from time to time. She looked really uncomfortable, like being right next to me was the last place she wanted to be.

I felt really bad. She looked embarrassed and hurt when I told her I wouldn't be a good friend. Surely, she had misunderstood. What unknowing human would understand what I really meant? The warmth in her eyes had disappeared, and they had flashed with anger the last time she looked at me.

I couldn't stand it.

I couldn't stand seeing her eyes so cold.

I had to apologize. I had to find a way. I couldn't bear thinking she would never look at me with those warm eyes again, never allowing me to prod deep into her soul through her endless brown eyes.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the class. Before I could come up with some lame explanation and apologize, Bella bolted out of her seat and hurried out the door of the classroom. Before she made it out the door, however, her toe caught the doorstop and she tripped. She was sprawled on the floor, and it took her a moment to realize what had happened. Her face flushed and she looked around unsuccessfully for her books, which were getting trampled by kids who were getting out.

I dashed to her side, being careful not to use my extra speed. I easily picked up her books and had them stacked in my arms when she was finally able to brush herself off and get up. She wobbled a little.

I reached over and steadied her, being careful not to touch her skin with my unusually cold hand. She hated anything cold, she'd told me earlier. "Are you all right?" I asked, genuinely concerned. Her face now looked pale, a sharp contrast from the scarlet that it had been.

Bella stared at me with wide eyes, seeming dazed. Then she shook her head and seemed to snap out of her reverie. She snatched her books from my arms and stomped away. Suddenly, she stopped. She held her head high, turned around and said, "thank you," without looking at my face. And then she hurriedly made her way through the crowd.

I laughed to myself. Bella Swan was definitely amusing.

And a hell lot mesmerizing.

With entrancing brown eyes.

I walked hurriedly to my car, wanting to compose myself before my brothers and sisters saw me. Alice, who knew me best, would definitely see that my eyes were sparkling with amusement, and she would demand that I tell her the whole story. I could never tell one vampire a story without telling them all, since technically, they could all hear. We could hear sounds from miles away. And a story that involved me befriending a human would definitely not be good. I can just imagine Rosalie's scorn. And Emmett's infinite mockery.

As I walked to my car, I could see Bella hurrying towards the blue car next to mine. She looked a little flustered, and I could see that her cheeks were regaining its creamy color. I stood next to my Volvo and watched her, unable to stop myself. "Hello, Bella," I said with a smirk. Funny how she was hurrying to get away from me, only to find me standing right next to her car.

Bella's eyes widened in shock, and then hardened into anger again. "This is crazy. He's everywhere," she muttered under her breath. I'm sure it wasn't her intention to let me hear. "Hello, Edward," she replied louder and somewhat coldly. I noticed she still avoided my eyes.

I chuckled. She was right. This was definitely crazy.

It was crazy how I was so captivated by her.

She hurriedly got into her car and started the engine. Her tires screeched; she must have stomped on the gas pretty hard. In her haste, she veered her car left all too soon. The next thing I heard was metal being scraped.

My Volvo's metal.

Oh. No.

Holy. Crap.

I suddenly saw Alice in my head, remembering her smug smile. She knew how touchy I was when it came to my cars. This must be the surprise she was talking about during lunch.

Bella's car abruptly stopped and she rested her head on the steering wheel. "Could this day get any worse?" she said to herself. She groaned and covered her face with her hands.

Despite my shiny Volvo's silver paint being scraped off, I felt like laughing. Truly, Bella was a magnet for bad luck. I sauntered over to her side and knocked lightly on her window.

Instead of opening her window, she opened her door and got out of her car. Her cheeks were even redder than they were when she had tripped earlier, if that was even possible. She sighed. And then she lifted her head slightly, and peeked up at me through her eyelashes. "Are you angry?" she whispered, obviously scared to look at me.

I had to smile. She looked wonderfully vulnerable when she was scared like that. "Certainly not," I replied with a bright smile. I tried to hide the amusement from my voice, but I heard a little of it seep through.

Bella looked up at me. Since I couldn't read her mind, her eyes were all I had to read. This time, they were filled with surprise. "You're not?" she asked incredulously. "But I just cost you a paint job." She looked at my Volvo with uncertainty. And then she gasped. "I dented your bumper too." She looked down, ashamed.

How I longed to touch her chin and tilt her face up, so I could stare at her. Etch her beautiful eyes to my memory.

I chuckled. "Don't worry about it. My sister is very good with cars. She'll have that done in no time."

Bella looked at me hopefully.

If my heart had been beating, it would have skipped one. No one else's eyes could fill with so much hope, so much emotion.

"I'm really sorry, Edward," she said sincerely. "Tell me how much it'll cost you to get your car fixed. Don't worry, I can pay you. I have some money saved up."

I laughed. "None of that, Bella. It's fine, really," I assured her with a smile. "Unless you did that on purpose because I was annoying you too much," I couldn't help adding. I now found that I loved to tease her and make her blush.

True enough, my playful chide made her blush. She laughed nervously. "I have to admit, I was kind of in a hurry to get away from you," she said. She looked apologetic at first. She took in my amused expression and her eyes flashed with annoyance. "Well, you didn't want to be my friend!"

"I never said I didn't want to be your friend, Bella," I said with a frown. The last thing I wanted was for her to think that I didn't want to have anything to do with her.

Because quite on the contrary, I wanted to have everything to do with her.

Every damned thing.

"I just said I wouldn't be a good one."

Unexpectedly, Bella's eyes filled with amusement. "I don't understand. Every time I try to get away from you, accidents happen. I trip, my books fall, and now, I practically demolish your car."

"So don't," I said softly.

"Don't what?"

"Don't stay away from me," I whispered.

She looked up at me. I gazed into her eternally deep brown eyes swirling with emotions.

And suddenly, I was drowning.


	8. Visions

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**_

**8 - Visions**

~ Edward ~

I gazed into her eyes for the longest time. And yet, it seemed so fleeting.

I could look into her eyes for endless hours and never fathom all the emotions that it held, all the secrets that it guarded.

I was staring at her, and she was staring right back. We were oblivious to the rest of the world.

It was like we were in a spell.

A magical spell.

"Hey, Bella," a girl's irritated voice suddenly called out.

And just as soon as it had begun, the magic was broken.

Bella snapped out of her daze, blinking for a couple of seconds. She looked around, seeming disoriented. Disoriented, but her eyes shone with so much emotion. Different emotions, some I couldn't read.

I ached with desire to know her thoughts at that exact moment.

I also snapped out of the spell Bella had put me in, distracted by some girl's irritated thoughts. _Why is she staring at Edward Cullen while her car is in the middle of the freaking road? I'm late for an appointment with my hairdresser. And wait—why is Edward Cullen staring at her? Seriously, I don't understand what all the boys see in that girl._ I knew that voice. It was Lauren, a mean girl whose brain was possibly too small to hold much information. I always tuned her out, hating to be in her head for even a minute. Her head was loud and very shallow. Much like Rosalie's, but worst. "You're blocking the exit," she complained loudly from behind the wheel. Her car was stuck behind Bella's. "Get your car out of the way. We're trying to get out too." I couldn't help glaring at her. She was being very rude.

"Oh!" Bella exclaimed, suddenly remembering that her car was indeed blocking the exit. "Sorry!" She glanced at me with uncertainty. Then hurriedly got into her car without a backward glance, and started her car. This time, she peeled out of her space carefully and drove away without hitting any more cars. I watched her car disappear from a distance.

_Oh, man! Look at Cullen's car!_

_I can't believe she hit Edward Cullen's Volvo. And he isn't the least bit pissed. He really must be interested in her._

_Wow. The Volvo._

_Where? Oooohh. Poor car._

_Oh, Edward!_ I heard Alice call me through her thoughts. I realized that I was still standing in the exact same spot, frozen in time, with Bella still on my mind. I turned and saw that my family was already gathered around my Volvo, waiting for me.

Rosalie was examining the damage, grumbling in her thoughts. _Who the hell thought he could hit Edward's car? I just finished rebuffing the body,_ she complained. _Damn it, damn it, damn it. Oh, well. At least I'll have something to do tonight._ The thought of this lifted her mood. Rosalie was exquisite with cars. She loved spending time in the garage and tuning our cars.

Emmett laughed his booming laugh as I approached. "Don't fret, bro, Rose'll have this fixed in no time." He patted my shoulder lightly.

I looked at him in surprise. "Oh, I wasn't worrying," I said as I got into the car. I revved up the engine and waited for the rest of my family to pile in. When everyone was settled in, I drove out of the school parking area. I stepped on the pedal, eager to get home and coop up in my room to think.

Think about a girl.

A girl with chocolate brown eyes.

Eyes that crinkled when she smiled, sparkled when she laughed.

Eyes that held the secrets of her soul.

_You're feeling mighty high, Edward. You're very giddy for someone who just had his car chafed off_, Jasper thought. Like me and Alice, Jasper was also talented. He could sense how someone was feeling. At the same time, he could also control your feelings, command a person to feel a certain way. It was very useful when Rosalie would be in one of her many fits. And funny when he would make Emmett feel complacent during one of their pseudo-fights.

I smirked. I could never tell him that the person who chafed my car off was the very reason why I was in such high spirits.

"By the way, who hit your car?" Jasper asked curiously, as if reading my thoughts.

"Bella," I answered immediately, a hint of smile crinkling my eyes. My stomach fluttered as I mentioned her name. This was truly bizarre. I had never felt these little sensations in my entire existence as I vampire.

These must be suppressed human memories.

Suppressed human feelings.

All triggered by the most beautiful brown eyes.

"How did you like my surprise, Edward?" Alice said in a sing-songy voice. She let out a peal of laughter, clearly amused at the condition my Volvo was in. _And I don't mean the car. I mean the girl._

I whipped my head in her direction, completely surprised with her thoughts. She had a little smile on her lips. Clearly, I had misunderstood her enthusiasm.

_Pretty little thing, isn't she?_ Alice thought. She looked at me with wide, innocent eyes.

Immediately, I recognized that look. It was the look she always gave when she was hiding something. Or trying to hide something. "What did you see, Alice?" I demanded. I kept my eyes on her, thankful that my extraordinary vampire senses did not need me to keep my eyes on the road while driving.

Alice was beaming. She was positively enjoying every minute of this, I could tell. _Look_, Alice thought. And then she scanned her memory and thought of a vision she had. It was of her and Bella laughing. She had her arm around Bella's shoulder, and Bella had an arm around her waist.

What did that mean?

_We're going to be great friends! Best friends!_ Alice thought excitedly. "We would go shopping together, and talk about absolutely anything! I can do her hair and give her makeovers everyday!" Alice said. She clapped her tiny hands, her eyes flashing with excitement.

"You and who?" Jasper wondered from the back seat. He and Emmett had been planning on playing a game of chess when we arrived home. Now, they were both listening to me and Alice.

Alice looked at me. Immediately, I saw that she was still hiding something from me. Blocking her thoughts, thinking of something else so that I couldn't read it. _Love me, love me, say that you love me. Fool me, fool me, go on and fool me._ Ugh. She was singing.

I hated it when she did that. Especially since this was obviously a vision about Bella. About Bella and myself, perhaps? I couldn't stand it, the suspense was killing me. "Alice," I growled. "Stop singing in your head. Let me in."

"Oh, here they go again," Emmett complained. He absolutely hated it when Alice and I were having these mind conversations. "Will you both be fair and let us in on the secret?"

Alice laughed at Emmett and slipped with her thoughts.

I saw clearly both visions she had been trying to hide.

One was of my wedding, with my entire family there. My bride's face was covered with her veil. When I lifted the veil off her face, it was the most beautiful I had ever seen of her. It literally took my breath away, even if it was just a vision. And then Bella looked up at me with butterscotch eyes. Eyes that were exactly like mine and my family's.

"No! No! That is not happening, not in this lifetime!" I growled. I gripped the steering wheel, my knuckles turning even whiter with the force. There was no way I would turn Bella into one of us. No way at all. I couldn't risk it. Her soul was too precious. I would never damn her for eternity.

The next vision Alice showed me scared me to the very core of my existence. My entire family was still there, along with Chief Swan. He was crying. I was carrying a lifeless Bella in my arms. She looked like a pale angel who was sleeping peacefully. Only, she wasn't sleeping. She was dead. But it didn't look like I had killed her, nor had anyone from my family. No. So why? Why would Bella die?

My foot slammed on the brakes. "No," I whispered.

She couldn't. She just couldn't.

I closed my eyes. I tried to imagine what life would be like without seeing those captivating brown eyes.

But I couldn't.

Because with one look—she had me forever.


	9. Shattered

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**_

**9 - Shattered**

~ Bella ~

You could say I looked forward to school now. A whole lot.

I looked forward to seeing my new friends.

Well, new friend.

Okay—Edward.

On some days, I would be fatigued. It was one of those days that I woke up really tired, so I got to school a little later than usual. The only parking space left was right beside a yellow BMW convertible. Kids, mostly boys, were gathered around it, staring in awe.

Wow. Since most of the cars in Forks were the old kind, it stood out by leaps and bounds. I parked carefully next to it, making sure to leave considerable space in between. I couldn't risk peeling off its paint with my bumper again. The owner might not be as shockingly forgiving as Edward had been.

I turned off my engine, grabbed my books and got of my car quickly. I felt my head suddenly spin, and I staggered when I stood up. I was about to fall flat on my face when I felt a strong hand grip my upper arm. The grip was firm but gentle.

"Are you all right?" a voice asked.

A soft, velvety voice.

The voice I had been repeating in my head over and over.

The voice I had been dreaming about.

The exact voice I had been wanting to hear.

At how he was always there to catch me—or okay, to pick up my books—every time I fell, I was dumbfounded. But altogether pleased. Very pleased. Very much pleased.

"Bella?" Edward prompted when I didn't respond.

I steadied myself, and turned to look at him. I looked into his golden eyes which filled with concern. And the butterflies in my stomach started fluttering about. _Actually, I feel a little bit woozy. Not to mention dazed. Don't worry about me, though. It's nothing serious. Your eyes just tend to have that effect on me. _"I'm alright now, thanks," I said with a grateful smile.

He cautiously released his grip on my arm. I shivered a little, realizing that his hand had been really cold even through my coat. "You really need to be more careful. That's twice," he teased, but I saw a hint of seriousness in his eyes.

He was concerned. Edward. Was. Concerned.

Breathe, Bella. Breathe.

"Thanks. I just have terrible balance," I explained, not mentioning the itsy bitsy little detail of my sickness causing my dizzy spells. I smiled sweetly, hoping he would take my explanation without asking any more questions.

His eyes filled with relief, and he chuckled.

It was sweet of him to be so concerned. Really sweet.

I glanced at the shiny convertible that had the kids gawking. "Is that your car too?"

"No, it's Rosalie's. Her most prized possession," he replied with a smirk. He looked at the kids who were still gaping at the car and shook his head. "Ostentatious."

"Wow," I breathed. The Cullens were obviously really rich. "If Rosalie has that, why does she ride with you?"

"Well, we don't usually like to show off. Our father hates flaunting," Edward said sheepishly. "But since my car still needs to be painted, my sisters had to ride this one. Me and my brothers took Emmett's jeep." He pointed to an enormous jeep on the other side of the convertible.

"Wow," I said again. This family was unbelievable. What in the world were they doing in Forks? They could be in Hollywood. They were like a family of stars, seriously.

Or a family of Greek gods.

"You gave Rose a chance to show off," Edward said with a chuckle as we started walking towards the school building. "So what did the Chief say about your bumper?" His eyes twinkled with amusement, and his lips twitched as if he was trying hard not to smile.

"Well, he kind of expected it, I guess," I said with a shrug, walking into the school building with Edward beside me. "I'd always had problems with my parking so he wasn't really shocked to see my bumper a little scrunched up. He was worried whose car I'd hit, though. And he practically had a cow when he found out it was yours." Charlie held a very high regard for Dr. Carlisle Cullen. He was overwhelmed at how Dr. Cullen could have been working in some big hospital earning more, but chose to stay in Forks instead.

As Edward laughed, I couldn't help noticing people looking at us awed. I couldn't really blame them. I was wondering myself why this Greek god was talking to me.

"Are you and your dad close?" Edward asked, looking at me curiously. His eyes held so much interest that I didn't really mind that his question was on the private side.

I fell silent, thinking about the answer.

"Bella?" Edward prompted. He looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to prod."

"Relax, I was thinking," I said. He smiled. "Well, I'm not really sure. Charlie isn't really good with expressing his feelings, just like me. We both like to keep to ourselves, and we hardly talk. But I know he loves me to pieces," I answered.

Edward smiled again – one thing that I found I always wanted to see. "Very honest answer."

"How about you? Are you and your dad close?" I asked, hoping it's not a touchy subject, with him being adopted and all. I stole a glance at him.

His eyes looked thoughtful, I could tell he was thinking about it too. "Yes, we are. I can tell Carlisle anything, and I can always count on him for good advice. He's the best father for me and my brothers and sisters."

We rounded the corner and neared my classroom. "What about your real parents?" I asked, looking at his face again for telltale signs that I'd crossed some untouchable line. But his face remained thoughtful.

"They died a long time ago, I don't even remember them that much," Edward answered easily. "Carlisle and Esme have been my parents for as long as I can remember. They're wonderful and supportive. We all get the love that we could ever want from our real parents. I could never ask for better parents."

"Wow, that's amazing," I said, realizing that he meant every word he had said. "You are very lucky to have such amazing parents." _And his parents were very lucky to have such an amazing son,_ I couldn't help thinking.

Edward nodded in agreement.

We both came to a stop as we reached my classroom. Sadly, this meant my short time with Edward was over. He'd merely walked me to my class since I coincidentally parked next to his car again. Or, technically, Rosalie's car.

I took off my coat, ready to step into the classroom.

Edward's eyes widened as he stared at my arm.

"What's wrong?" I demanded, glancing down at my arm. What was the matter? Oh. It was my large black and blue bruise. I had woken up with it this morning.

Edward gulped. "I hurt you," he whispered, his eyes still wide.

_No, no, no. You didn't hurt me. I always bruise because I'm sick._

But I couldn't tell him, no. Would he ever look at me the same way if he knew?

"I'm so sorry," he said, looking guilty. His remorse was written all over his face. He even looked embarrassed, the poor guy.

"What? No, you didn't hurt me," I protested. "The bruise was there when I woke up this morning."

Edward looked at me in alarm. "Are you sure? Why?"

I considered lying to him. But I couldn't.

I just couldn't.

Eyes like that couldn't be lied to.

"I don't remember bumping into anything," I said truthfully. I was true, I didn't remember bumping into anything at all. I wasn't lying.

"I have to go inside now. Goodbye, Edward," I said before he could ask any more questions about my bruise. Because I don't know if I could resist telling him if he asked. "I enjoyed talking to you."

The warmth in his butterscotch eyes seemed to return. "And I you," he said with a heart-stopping smile. "Immensely."

****

That heart-stopping smile was what I looked forward to seeing every single day. I arrived at school the next day hoping against all hopes that the only empty parking space left would be right next to his. The space next to his, however, was taken. That left me to park some rows away from his car.

Oh, well. I guess no morning chitchat today. I couldn't help feeling disappointed.

Really disappointed.

Amazingly, though, when I got out of my car, the Greek god was there waiting. With the same heart-stopping crooked smile on his face.

And it always went this way every morning for more than a month. No matter where I parked, he would be there waiting. He would walk me to my first class every morning. On some days we would talk nonstop, on some days we would walk in companionable silence.

We were getting to be good friends. Very good friends.

On one hand, I was loving every minute of it. On the other hand, it scared me. I was getting attached, I could tell.

Too attached.

Which was bad. Really bad.

Because there was no way this could end well.

It was well over a month after our little morning tradition had started. I had woken up with a bruise on my leg, and I felt really tired. I sighed. It looked like it was going to be one of those days again.

I slowly made my way down to the kitchen.

Charlie was sitting on the dining table, eating a bowl of cereal. I was surprised to have seen him there since he usually left for work early. "Hey, Bells," he said. And then he looked at me, his face immediately looking concerned. "Are you feeling okay? You look even paler than usual."

"I don't feel so good," I admitted.

Charlie looked scared. Poor Charlie. I knew this was hard for him, having to take care of his sick daughter. Having to wonder how much longer I was going to be with him. I'd heard him talking to my mother a couple of nights ago, and he was crying. "Maybe you should stay home."

No. Staying home meant I couldn't see my Greek god.

"Don't worry, I can manage," I assured Charlie. "I gotta go. Bye, Dad." I didn't really have the appetite for breakfast, so I grabbed an apple and made my way to my car. I drove slowly since I kept getting little dizzy spells. I parked my car carefully, not wanting to add to my damaged bumper. I keep forgetting to have it fixed up.

The sun was shining when I got out of my car, the first time since I had arrived in Forks. I stepped out of my car eagerly, excited to get on with my morning tradition with Edward. I looked around and frowned.

He was nowhere to be seen.

_Maybe he's running a little late, I'll wait,_ I thought to myself. About twenty minutes later, I heard the bell ring. Still no Edward. I hoped he was alright. I hurried to get to my class, almost bumping into Jessica.

"Oh, Bella!" Jessica said, surprised. She looked around and then smirked. "What, no Edward?"

"Um, no," I answered, a little uncomfortable. Did she have to sound so shocked? "I guess he couldn't make it to school today."

Jessica laughed rudely. "You guess? The Cullens are backpacking today. Didn't Edward tell you?" She grinned smugly.

"No," I admitted. I felt my heart sinking to my feet. Why didn't he tell me? "Did he tell you?"

I was almost afraid to know the answer.

Jessica frowned. "No. The Cullens always skip school when the sun's out. Everybody knows they love backpacking in the mountains."

So much relief flooded through me. You wouldn't believe how much. What Jessica knew about Edward was general knowledge. Edward hadn't told her himself. I felt ashamed as I realized that I didn't really want Edward getting too close to Jessica. Or any other girl for that matter. It was very selfish of me. Edward wasn't mine.

But I sure wished he was.

I breezed through the entire day feeling bored. There was no excitement when I was walking through the halls, I knew there was no chance of me bumping into Edward. As the day wore on, I grew more and more tired.

I had gym for my last period and by then, the sun had disappeared and Forks was back to its usual overcast nature. We played volleyball during gym. Well, my teammates played and I mostly stood out of their way. I tried to hit the ball when it came my way, but it flew and landed on Mike Newton's head. They all realized it was best if I just played wallflower. Still, the teacher made me join the cooling down. We jogged around the gym for ten minutes, making me feel somewhat lightheaded.

I was still breathless when I made my way to my car after gym. I was about five cars away when I noticed a silver Volvo parked next to my car.

Edward's silver Volvo.

With Edward standing next to it, eyeing me with his crooked smile.

I tried to smile back but my head suddenly felt really light, and then it felt as heavy as cement. I staggered and tried to keep my balance, but I couldn't. My head was too heavy. I couldn't hold it up anymore. I gave up and just gave in. I felt myself falling to the ground.

And then the strangest thing happened. As I was falling, I saw Edward run towards me. He was running so fast, he was practically a blur. But he couldn't have been running. It was way too fast. It was impossible.

I closed my eyes as I was falling, bracing myself for the impact. Just as I thought I would hit the ground, a pair of hands caught me. The next thing I knew, I was lying in his arms.

I opened my eyes and found myself gazing into the most beautiful golden eyes. "Edward," I whispered. He had his arms around me and it was the most amazing feeling in the world. I couldn't describe the feeling. It was cold, but I felt warm inside. I didn't want him to ever let go.

"Bella," he said with urgency. "Are you okay? You looked like you were about to faint."

I tried to stand up but he held his arms around me firmly. "I'm fine," I assured him. He looked at me skeptically. "Really, I am. I just got a little dizzy."

I disentangled myself from him and stood up. I smiled brightly, pretending everything was okay. "See?"

"Bella, tell me what's wrong," Edward pleaded. His eyes bore into mine with so much intensity, I thought I would literally melt. "I don't know, but it seems like you're always getting dizzy."

"I'm fine now, Edward," I insisted. And then I tilted my head to one side and smiled impishly. "I think it's because I'm pretty lucky."

Edward raised an eyebrow, the hint of amusement returning in his eyes. "And why is that?"

"You're always there to catch me each time I fall," I said with a chuckle.

Instead of laughing, Edward looked into my eyes with the same intensity again. His eyes were swimming with so many emotions. Happiness was unmistakable. Amusement was definitely there. Along with some uncertainty.

I suddenly realized that my words held another meaning.

Oh. My. God.

I can't believe I said that. I felt a blush creep to my cheeks.

Something nagged my brain. What had I said? How he was always there. I thought hard. And then something clicked. "Hey, how did you get to me so fast?" I demanded. I'd forgotten about my embarrassment now.

Edward looked at me blankly. "I was right beside you."

I shook my head. I replayed the scene in my head. I clearly remembered him standing between my car and his, looking at me with that crooked smile. "No, you weren't. You were over there by your car. And then I saw you run very fast, you were practically a blur. You ran the length of five cars in less than a second."

"I was beside you, Bella," Edward said calmly. "Besides, you fainted." He smirked.

What was he implying? "I know what I saw, Edward," I said icily. "And I didn't faint. I was dizzy." What was wrong with him? Why wouldn't he admit it? I wasn't seeing things. I was sure.

"Please, Bella," Edward pleaded. He looked at me desperately. "I was right beside you." I realized it was what he wanted me to believe, what he wanted me to say.

"Why?" What the hell was going on?

"Please, just forget it," he said coldly. "Can't you just thank me and get it over with?" There was no trace of even the littlest warmth in his eyes. They looked cold and hard. They weren't Edward's eyes at all. They were the eyes of a stranger.

My stupid hopeful heart was shattered to pieces.

I couldn't believe it. He didn't trust me enough.

Was I not someone he could trust enough with his secrets? I'd thought so.

Apparently he thought otherwise.

Well, fine.

"Thank you," I said curtly.

And then I walked away from him without looking back.

Before he could see the tears in my eyes.

Before he could see the hurt in my eyes.

Before he could see the love in my eyes.


	10. Declaration

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**_

**10 – Declaration**

~ Edward ~

I watched Bella walk away, fighting the urge to call her back. I knew she was angry over what I had said, over how I had acted.

But I could never tell her the truth.

She would think I was some kind of monster. And I just couldn't bear that.

I walked back to my car and peeled out of the school parking lot. My foot was relentless on the gas pedal, my car going faster and faster. I gripped the steering wheel hard, my knuckles turning white.

I got home in no time. Alice and Rosalie were sitting on the couch, watching a show on the flat screen television. Emmett and Jasper were playing chess, with Alice mouthing to Jasper what Emmett's next move would be.

"Oh, good, Edward's here," Emmett said gleefully. He waved his hand, motioning me to come over. "Jasper's been cheating. I need you to help me." He gave Alice a dirty look.

Alice laughed from her spot on the couch, her laughter reminding me of musical chimes. "Hey, Edward," she greeted me.

"Sorry, guys, I'm not in the mood to play." I walked past them and up to my room.

_What's with him?_ Rosalie's irritated thought flew to me.

_Poor, Edward,_ Alice thought. _Edward, I'm just here if you want to talk._

_Crazy kid,_ Emmett thought probably to himself.

_Wonder what's eating him,_ Jasper thought. _Oh, well. Cool. Now I'll beat Emmett for sure._

I sat on the couch in my room. I had no bed since vampires couldn't sleep. I stared at a blank spot on the wall.

And I suddenly remembered Bella's face when I had snapped at her.

The hurt flooding her beautiful brown eyes.

Her wretched and wounded brown eyes.

I wanted so badly to tell her, to have my secret out in the open. To have her look at me with the most trusting eyes again. But if I told her, those eyes would never look at me the same way.

Because in those eyes, I would be a monster.

But maybe she wouldn't think I was so bad. Maybe—

No. I could never tell anyone. It would be very dangerous for my family.

I couldn't remember a time in my entire existence that I had felt so torn. I wanted so badly to stop lying to her, to just tell her everything. And yet I knew I couldn't. I felt a wave of emotions wash over me. I felt so sad that I had hurt her so bad. When she turned away from me, I could have sworn there were tears glistening in her eyes. And I was so angry at myself for bringing those tears to her eyes. I regretted talking to her that way, as if I couldn't trust her with my secret. And yet, I knew I could never tell her because it would never be safe for her. I was so worried that I would never see her smile at me again, never look into my eyes with those beautiful chocolate eyes.

Did she hate me?

I wouldn't blame her. I was horrible.

I felt a searing pain cut through my chest. It was an unfamiliar feeling.

No. Please, no. She can't hate me.

She can't.

I would rather die than have Bella hate me.

I growled angrily, and then punched the wall. I felt all my pent up emotions released. And I felt somewhat better. Calmer.

The wall, however, wasn't doing so well. It was now sporting a hole. Oops.

I heard footsteps rushing towards my room. A second later, my entire family had piled in.

"Edward? What's the matter?" Esme asked with concern. She glanced at my wall and frowned. "Oh, dear. I'll have to fix that tomorrow."

I sighed. "I'm sorry, Esme. I'll take care of that, I promise," I said apologetically. I had forgotten how much Esme loved our houses. This house was one of her favorites. She's spent so much effort on this one.

Esme smiled reassuringly. "It's no problem, Edward." She came over to my side and put an arm around my shoulder. "Do you have a problem?" Her voice was gentle, her face so caring. I was once again reminded of how lucky I was to have Esme as my mother.

_Do you feel ready to talk?_ Carlisle asked me in thought. His eyes were full of compassion. He looked concerned too, but I could tell he would never force it if I said no. But maybe it was Carlisle's expert opinion that I needed. Carlisle gave excellent advice, and I was in damn need of one.

I nodded. It was about time I told my family.

"Let's all go down to the dining room," Carlisle said. Since we only drank animal blood, our dining table was only used when we needed to have family discussions. We all headed down to the dining room.

Carlisle sat on one end of the long table, with Esme on his left and me on his right. Alice skipped her way towards me and absent-mindedly plopped down on the seat next to mine. Rosalie sat at the far end of the table, looking suspiciously at me.

_This can't be good,_ Rosalie thought while glaring at me.

Emmett took the seat next to Rosalie's and Jasper stood by the dining room entrance. Jasper must have sensed my anxiety because he was looking at me curiously.

_Go on, Edward,_ Carlisle thought, nodding his head at me encouragingly.

"I'm very sorry," I started, looking down. "But I have compromised our cover."

Thoughts erupted around me, the loudest being Rosalie's.

She was hurling insults at me in her mind. Insults. Complaining. Insults. And then she stopped. _We can silence the human._

I whipped my head to her direction. "No," I growled loudly at her. She glared at me and I glared right back.

"Rose, Edward, calm down," Emmett complained. His eyebrows furrowed and he frowned. "I can never take sides if you two fight. Think about me."

Rosalie rolled her eyes at Emmett, breaking her glare at me.

"Rosalie wants to kill her," I told Carlisle with disbelief. "I'm sorry, but I can't let that happen."

"Wait a minute—her?" Jasper wondered. More curiosity filled his eyes.

I sighed. "Bella almost fainted this afternoon. I caught her before her head hit the ground," I explained.

Alice giggled but kept her mouth shut. I was sure she had seen it before it happened. _That's one way of putting it,_ she thought teasingly. Much as I loved Alice, I couldn't bring myself to smile.

"Bella? Isabella Swan?" Emmett asked. "Chief Swan's daughter? The new girl?"

"Yes, Emmett, that's her," I answered. Seriously, if vampires had headaches, my head would have been splitting now.

"Well, that doesn't sound so bad," Esme said slowly. _Or did I miss something?_

I sighed again. "Well, you see, I kind of ran to get to her. I was five cars away."

Everyone was silent, even in their thoughts. They were all waiting for me to continue.

Rosalie's eyes narrowed into slits. "Just how fast did you run?" she spat.

Honestly, why did Rose have to be so difficult? I met her challenging gaze with my icy stare. "Fast enough."

Everybody's thoughts exploded when they realized what I had meant.

_What the hell? What was he thinking?_

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

_We're compromised. Alice isn't safe._

_Oh, how romantic, Edward._

"Did she see you?" Carlisle asked. He still looked calm, despite having known that I had blown our cover. I realized he really was the perfect father for me and my brothers and sisters.

"Yes," I answered truthfully. "I tried to make her think otherwise. But her mind was set."

"Oh," Esme breathed. Her eyes were wide. "And did she tell anyone?"

I shook my head. "At least I don't think so. I can't read her mind." I looked at Carlisle. He looked surprised.

"What?" Emmett asked incredulously. "That's impossible."

"I thought so myself," I said.

A slow smile started to spread along Emmett's face. "Maybe you're losing your touch. I bet I can beat you at chess now."

We all groaned. Trust Emmett to make something fun out of something so serious.

"What do we do?" I asked Carlisle. I was almost afraid to know that answer.

"That depends," he answered thoughtfully. "If Bella tells someone, we might have to move. If she doesn't, then I don't see a reason why we should."

"Move?" Rosalie whined. "But I'm finishing high school. I don't want to start sophomore year again." _Stupid, careless boy._

"I'm with Rose," Jasper suddenly said. He had been silent for most of the time. I could tell he had been thinking a lot about it. "We kill the girl."

I jumped out of my seat and in a split second, I was face to face with Jasper. "The girl's name is Bella," I growled. "And no one is killing her."

"Boys," Esme scolded. "Must you deal with this matter that way? Let's all just calm down and talk about things rationally."

Jasper backed away but he still met my gaze. "I'm sorry, Edward. I just can't risk having Alice in danger."

I growled again. "No one. Not one of you touches Bella." I glared at Jasper and Rose. "I am fighting for this girl. With every damned thing that I have."

"Edward," Carlisle called calmly. "Do sit down. I promise you, no one will hurt Bella."

"What?" Rosalie screeched. She looked defeated. Because when it came right down to it, she would never defy Carlisle's orders. She would stick by it. Grumbling, whining and complaining – but still stick by it.

"If we kill Bella, we will destroy everything we have built," Carlisle explained. "Besides, Bella is completely innocent. No one is touching her." Carlisle took on his commanding yet compassionate voice, making everybody in the room understand that he was very serious.

As I sat back down, Alice's eyes glazed over. She was having a vision. I got into her mind and saw the vision with her.

It was of Bella and me. I was running fast while carrying her on my back. We arrived at my house. Esme and Alice hugged her in greeting, Emmett and Jasper kidded with her. And then I took her up to the balcony and we gazed at the stars. I had an arm around her shoulders, and she had her arms around my waist. I touched her face with my cold hand. Her eyes flashed knowingly. Her eyes shone with a secret. And as she held me close, I knew the secret was safe. Very safe.

Alice grinned triumphantly. "You can all stop fighting now. I'm sure Bella won't tell."

"What did you see?" Emmett demanded.

"That's between me and Edward," Alice said gleefully. Emmett groaned loudly, and she let out a melodious laugh, very much enjoying Emmett's reaction. "But I assure you, she won't say anything." She took my hand and squeezed it.

"Thanks," I whispered, looking at her with a grateful smile.

"Then we don't have a problem," Carlisle said. "We're staying. And Rose can graduate high school happily." He smiled teasingly at Rose, who rolled her eyes. Esme nodded in agreement and looked at me curiously.

"Jasper?" I prompted, making sure no one had secret threats.

Jasper shook his head, looking at Alice. "No problem. As long as Alice is safe." He turned to me, his face genuinely apologetic. "I'm sorry, Edward. Truly sorry." His thoughts were also apologetic.

I nodded. I understood why he wanted to do what he wanted to do. He would do anything to protect Alice.

Just as I would do anything to protect Bella.

Rosalie groaned. And then stared at me in disbelief. _Are you in love with Bella Swan?_

I turned away, unable to meet her gaze.

Rosalie snorted. _You're in love with her. You are in love with a human. You are so pathetic, Edward._

"Yes, I'm in love with her," I snapped at Rosalie. I looked at each one of them.

Emmett's wide, unbelieving, but not at all judging eyes.

Rosalie's disgust.

Jasper's knowing smile.

Alice's happiness and glee.

Esme's abounding joy.

Carlisle's compassion.

"I am utterly and irrevocably in love with Isabella Swan."


	11. Stories

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**_

**11 – Stories**

~ Bella ~

_Dad,_

_I'm not feeling well. Sleeping now._

_I left pot roast in the fridge for you._

_Bella_

I stuck the Post-It on the refrigerator door and went straight up to my room. I plopped down on my bed without bothering to change out of the school clothes. I was feeling really tired, but I couldn't bring myself to sleep. My head kept replaying what had happened this afternoon over and over.

Walking to my car. Seeing Edward standing right next to it, a smile on his face. Feeling faint and suddenly falling. Seeing Edward run so fast, turning into a blur. Closing my eyes, almost hitting the ground. Opening my eyes, staring into Edward's, lying in his arms. Insisting I was alright. Asking how he ran to me so fast.

Arguing.

And then Edward's cold, hard eyes.

Each time I remembered his cold eyes, I felt an intense pain cut through my heart. This was a pain, I was sure, that had nothing to do with my sickness.

Replay. Sharp pain. Replay. Sharp pain. Replay. Sharp pain.

I sighed. This had to stop. I got up, grabbed the iPod that was sitting on my desk and searched for the loudest song I could find. I seldom listened to rock music. I usually found it too loud, making it impossible for me to think.

Perfect for right now.

I closed my eyes and allowed myself to get lost in the music. A few minutes later, I felt my exhaustion sink in and I was drifting off to sleep.

_Edward and I were walking, he was talking and his eyes shone with happiness. He let out a musical laugh at something I had said, his eyes twinkling with amusement. And then we ran into his brothers and sisters. They all looked at him meaningfully, as if trying to tell him something with their minds. Suddenly, his eyes turned cold and hard. "Go away, Bella. I'm not a good friend for you."_

"_But you are, Edward," I pleaded. "I don't care what you are."_

"_But I hurt you," he said, looking at the bruise on my arm. He looked at me with guilty eyes. And then he turned and ran, disappearing into a blur. The rest of his family followed, all fast blurs that couldn't be seen anymore._

"_Don't leave, Edward," I pleaded, sobbing. I tried to hold my heart in place, but it was shattering into tiny pieces of red glass, spilling to the ground beneath me. "Edward. Don't go."_

I gasped for air and bolted up. I was sweating, having slept in my jacket.

I felt tears in my eyes. My dream had felt so real.

I looked at the clock on my night table. 5:32 AM.

It was too early to prepare for school. So I turned on my PC, checked on my email and replied to my mother's. And then I got into Google and typed in _unusual speed_. I browsed through the results, sighing when all I got were about the unusual speed of cars, trains, motorcycles. I turned off my PC and went down to the kitchen. As munched on my cereal, I tried to think of possible explanations.

Maybe he was a superhero. Were superheroes real?

Or he was a mutant. A beautiful god-like mutant.

Maybe his father experimented on him. Like in movies.

Or maybe Jessica wasn't too far-fetched after all. Maybe he really was a Greek god.

I thought about my dream. How he had looked so guilty when he said he had hurt me. And then I remembered him looking exactly the same when he caught my arm, saw my bruise, and thought he had hurt me. His eyes were filled with guilt. Was he a bad guy?

Was it possible?

No. Eyes like those could never be bad.

Eyes that held so much emotion, so much warmth could never be bad.

I stood up with renewed determination. I was going to try to talk to Edward again today. Maybe he wasn't angry anymore. I hoped he wasn't angry anymore. I hurriedly washed out my bowl of cereal, grabbed my bag and my jacket and went out to my car. I drove to the school, wondering if Edward would be waiting for me this morning. I hoped he would be.

Hoped with all of my heart.

I got out of my car after parking. I looked around discreetly. His Volvo was there. But he wasn't anyplace to be found. I looked down and started walking towards the school building. Was he still angry? Maybe that explained why he wasn't waiting for me.

I trudged to my first class, avoiding the curious stares of people. They had grown pretty used to seeing Edward walk me to my first class every morning. I'm sure they were wondering why he wasn't with me today.

I sighed. I was wondering the same thing myself.

Part of me was dreading Biology. Edward never glanced at me in the cafeteria during lunchtime. So as I walked to my Biology class, the only class I had with Edward, I was feeling a little nervous. Okay, more than a little nervous. And yet a part of me was looking forward to seeing him. Very much looking forward to seeing him.

Him and his golden eyes.

I entered my Biology class and went straight to my seat without looking right at Edward, seeing him only in my peripheral vision. I sat down on my seat and turned to him. "Hello, Edward," I said quietly.

Edward nodded without looking at me. He kept his eyes straight to the front of the room, making it clear he had no intention of speaking to me.

I swallowed. Okay, so he was still angry and he didn't want to talk. I felt a blush tint my cheeks as I straightened in my seat and stared at Mr. Burns who was sitting on his desk in front of the room. I ducked my head ever so slightly, letting my hair fall into a curtain around my face. I was embarrassed that Edward apparently didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore.

This went on endlessly for days and days. We would see each other without acknowledging each one's presence, talking only when very necessary during Biology. Other than that, nothing. Not even forced hellos.

I went through the couple of weeks in a dull routine. School, lunch with my friends, go home, do homework, sleep. It was getting pretty boring. Waking up each morning just wasn't as exciting – I had no morning chitchat to look forward to.

I was having lunch at the cafeteria with the usual gang. The Cullens were at their usual table, all looking as beautiful as ever. I couldn't help staring at them. Were they all like Edward? Could they run just as fast?

"Bella," a loud voice suddenly interrupted my thoughts. It was Tyler. "What are you doing tomorrow?" He flashed me a grin.

From out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lauren turn red. She glared at me. If looks could kill I'd be a goner now. She whispered profusely to Jessica, who in turn, shot me a mean glare.

I avoided Lauren's glare, focusing only on Tyler. "Um," I started. _C'mon, Bella, think. Think. You have something to do tomorrow. _I racked my brain, thinking of a good excuse.

"Because if you don't have anything lined up, we could go to the beach over at La Push or something," Tyler continued, his smile widening. "You guys can come if you want," he told the others somewhat reluctantly.

_You have to have something to do tomorrow,_ I thought to myself desperately.

La Push. Something clicked. I remembered Charlie mentioning to me that Jacob Black, his friend Billy's son, who lived in La Push, was an expert when it came to cars. And I still had a bumper to fix. Perfect. "Actually, I do have something to do tomorrow," I answered as calmly as I could. I was a terrible liar. Lauren's eyes narrowed into slits. "My friend is coming over to fix my car."

Tyler's face fell. "Oh. That's too bad. Couldn't you get it fixed some other time?" He looked at me hopefully.

I gulped. I had to get my bumper fixed over the weekend. Or Tyler will think I totally blew him off. Which is actually quite true. But what if Jacob had other things to do? "Sorry, but it's Jacob's only free time."

"Oh. Well, okay," Tyler said dejectedly. I saw Lauren's lips forming into a smug smile. "Maybe next time," Tyler added, looking hopeful again. Lauren's face fell, and she glared at me again.

So when I got home later that day, I flipped through Charlie's little black address book. Luckily, Billy Black was on the first page. I dialed the number and looked for Jacob Black.

"Hello?" a boy's voice said. "This is Jacob."

"Hi, Jacob," I said shyly. "This is Bella Swan, Charlie's daughter?" I hoped Charlie had told him already.

"Oh, hey, Bella," Jacob said enthusiastically. "I remember you from way back! When I heard you came to Forks, I was wondering when Billy would visit Charlie. How have you been?" He talked with such ease that it was hard for me not to feel at ease as well.

I stopped feeling shy. "Well, I only remember your sisters," I admitted. My memory of Jacob was a little fuzzy. But I could remember a little boy with long hair, always tagging after his father.

He laughed. "That's not good," he teased.

I laughed too. I was feeling comfortable, like talking to an old friend. Well, he really was an old friend. Even if I didn't remember him that much. "Jacob, Charlie mentioned that you're amazing with cars," I said.

"That's right," Jacob answered knowingly. "And Billy mentioned that you're terrible with parking."

I laughed. "Oh, did he?"

Jacob chuckled. "I'd be happy to fix your bumper, Bella. Just tell me when and where."

Wow, that was easier than I thought. "Charlie told Billy. That's embarrassing," I complained.

"Don't worry," Jacob said. "We were kind of expecting it already when we were buffing up your car, getting it ready for your homecoming."

"Oh, you were?" I responded playfully. I laughed. "Are you free tomorrow?" Please, please, please, please be free.

"Sure," Jacob answered. "I'll come over after lunch, 'kay? So you won't have to feed me." He laughed.

_Whew. Saved by Jacob Black._ I laughed. "All right, whatever works for you. But really, we'd love to have you for lunch."

"Nah," Jacob said. "I wouldn't want to scare you with my appetite."

I laughed. Jacob was a funny guy. "All right. See you tomorrow, Jacob."

"Bye, Bella."

True to his word, Jacob arrived right after lunch. I was up in my room when he bellowed. "Beeeellaaaa!" I looked out my window and found him looking up with a huge grin on his face. I waved and rushed down.

"Hey, Jacob!" I greeted, walking outside with a grin. The face was very familiar. But he was no longer a little boy. In fact, he towered over me. And he was supposed to be a year or two younger than me.

"Wow, you've grown," he said. And then he put his hand on my head teasingly.

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, okay. You're huge. Don't rub it in." I stuck my tongue out at him.

Jacob laughed. "C'mon, let's fix her up," he said, heading to my car. "Man, Bella, you could use some driving lessons."

I groaned. "I already had two."

Jacob burst out laughing. "Wasted money." He opened the car and tinkered with the radio. "Your stereo is still broken," he complained. "No music. Oh, well. Guess you'll just have to do some storytelling to keep me from getting bored. You wouldn't want me falling asleep on the job, right?" He winked, and then opened his huge toolbox and laid out a million tools on the ground.

I sat down on the curb next to him. "I haven't really got any stories to tell," I said. "How about you talk so you don't get bored?"

"Hmmm," Jacob mused. And then he grinned. "How do you like scary stories?"

"I love scary stories," I said enthusiastically. I really didn't get scared in the dark, so I didn't mind scary stories at all. "Bring it on."

Jacob's eyes twinkled. "It all started way way _way_ back. There was a family who came to town," he started in a spooky voice. "This town," he added. He glanced at me and looked at me with spooky eyes, and then turned back to the car. "The family was respected and well-liked. They were revered."

He paused, concentrating on the car. "One rainy night, two guards from our tribe down at La Push were roaming the forest, running surveillance. There had been a report of a recent death a few towns away. Mugged and then killed. So they were keeping the town safe. They heard animals make noises. Unusual noises," he said, letting astonishment seep through his voice. "It was like they were running away from something. It was like they were scared."

I shivered a little. It must have been from the cold.

"The two guards thought the animals were running from their prey. When suddenly, they came across people," Jacob said quietly. "People drinking the blood of the animals. They were very strong and very fast, almost disappearing when they moved."

Something nagged my brain.

"Our guards were about to run to call the other guards from our tribe. These people were dangerous. They killed animals with their bare hands and drank their blood. There have been legends about them, but no one alive had ever seen them. They were exactly like what the legends say. They were pale, and very beautiful."

Jacob paused for effect. "They were the Cold Ones. Blood drinkers." He whipped his head in my direction and looked at me straight in the eye. "Vampires."

I sucked in my breath. "So what did the guards do?" I whispered.

"The Cold Ones stopped them before they could do anything," Jacob whispered dramatically. My eyes widened in horror. Jacob laughed. "Not what you're thinking, Bella. They stopped the guards, saying they never harmed humans. They only drank animal blood. Lame, right? Some fighting would have made the story a little more exciting."

He chuckled as he turned back to the car.

"And then? I prompted.

"They were brought to our tribe leaders. They made a treaty: the Cold Ones were never to set foot on our land and never bite a human, in exchange for our tribe's silence." Jacob shrugged. He took in my bewildered expression and chuckled. "It's just superstitious belief. Vampires aren't real. Don't be scared."

I shivered again. I felt chilled. Something about Jacob's story was particularly startling to me. I wasn't scared. Just shocked. Completely, utterly shocked.

Cold.

Pale.

Beautiful.

Strong.

Fast. Unbelievably fast.

_Vampire._


	12. Girlfriends

_**A/N: Hey, guys. My very first author's note, since someone asked why I never did author's notes. Lol. Anyway, thank you for reviewing and adding my story to your favorites and story alerts. This is my very first fanfiction, and the very first (long) story I have ever written in my entire life. Lol. So I'm glad people like it. Enjoy!**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**_

**12 – Girlfriends**

~ Bella ~

I was already sitting with Angela during lunch in the cafeteria when Lauren and Jessica arrived with their trays. They were giggling over something.

"Hey, Bella, Angela," Jessica greeted us with a bright smile. Hmm. This was pretty unusual. She usually just nodded her hellos at us and hung on every word that Lauren said.

"Hi, girls," Lauren said with a superior smile. She sat down next to Jessica and bit into her apple. Even more unusual. Lauren on a typical day would simply just ignore us. On bad days she would spend the entire lunch period glaring at me. Especially when Tyler and Mike were around. "Tyler asked me out," she announced smugly. Oh, so that explained her mood.

"And Mike asked me out," Jessica boasted. "We're going on a double date this weekend."

They both knew Tyler and Mike had asked me out – the reason why they spent lunch periods glaring at me or ignoring me. Why they felt the need to boast, however, puzzled me. Surely, they had to know I wasn't interested in both boys. I had no intention of ever going out with them, knowing that my friends liked them. Given that Lauren and Jessica counted as friends.

Angela and I looked at each other. "Wow, that's really nice, guys," I said politely. I bit a big part of my pizza and chewed slowly, so I had an excuse to be silent. I loved Angela. We were pretty alike in many ways. Lauren and Jessica, however, I didn't really get that much. They were both shallow and petty, and I couldn't really have interesting conversations with them. But I never wanted enemies, so I always did my best to be polite.

"Oh, my gosh," Lauren suddenly said excitedly. She turned to Jessica. "We just have to go shopping!"

Jessica squealed. "Totally! Let's go to Port Angeles tonight!" She bounced in her seat, just as excited as Lauren.

"Oh, my gosh, yeah!" Lauren agreed. She turned to us and smiled her superior smile. "You can both come. We could use your opinions on our date outfits." She giggled. And then she stopped as the Cullens entered the cafeteria. She looked at Rosalie enviously, looking at her up and down.

"Excellent outfit," she commented. And then she turned to me. "Bella, why don't I ever see you with Edward anymore? Did you two have a fight?" She hid her smile with her hand.

I swallowed. "Yeah, kind of," I answered uncomfortably.

I stared at Edward, who was listening to Alice with an amused expression on his face. I suddenly remember Jacob's story about the Cold Ones. Pale and beautiful – Edward certainly fit that category. And he was unbelievably fast. I believed my eyes hadn't deceived me more now than ever. It was possible to be incredibly fast, I wasn't imagining things. What else? Cold. Was Edward cold? _Yes, he was,_ I thought in surprise, suddenly remembering how cold his hand had felt even through my jacket and how firm his grip had been. Firm. Did that mean he was very strong too?

Was it possible? Were the legends true? Was he…

As I watched him stare blankly at his tray of untouched food, I realized that I didn't care.

I really didn't.

Because vampire or not, he still made my heart skip a beat every single time his topaz eyes looked into mine. He still made me smile the most, laugh the most. He still made me talk about my life the most. He still cheered me up the most, perked me up the most.

And surely, he was the one I had ever missed the most.

I sighed. I just wanted things to go back to normal. To arrive at school and have my Greek god waiting for me with his crooked smile. To get excited over Biology class.

I was still staring at him, when I felt someone's eyes on me. I moved my eyes and was immediately drawn to Rosalie. My eyes widened a little and I gasped when I saw that she was staring at me. Her eyes were butterscotch like Edward's, but were so different in many ways. They were filled with hate, annoyance, and scorn. I saw Edward's lips move, and then Rosalie broke her glare and rolled her eyes at Edward.

Why did she seem to hate me? I couldn't remember doing anything that might have offended her. In fact, I don't recall ever speaking to her or crossing paths with her except in the cafeteria. Maybe Edward had told her about our fight. Maybe she was angry for her brother.

Edward was still angry.

The familiar pain shot through my heart again. Was this ever going to end?

I sighed again and turned my attention back to the girls. They were now talking about the shopping trip to Port Angeles tonight. Lauren was telling—no, commanding—Angela to come.

"I can't," Angela said apologetically. "I'm doing something with my mom."

My heart sank. Angela wasn't coming? But she was my only ally.

"How about you, Bella?" Lauren asked in a syrupy sweet voice, but her eyes were glaring at me, as if challenging me to say no. Like she was sure I wouldn't come because I was afraid of her or something.

"Um, sure," I answered reluctantly. "I guess I can make it."

Her eyes flashed in annoyance. Probably because I hadn't backed down from her little challenge. And then her eyes lit up, as if she'd thought of some bright idea. "Okay. We'll have fun shopping. And I'm sure you'll have a jolly time watching me pick my dress for my date with _Tyler_," she said with a smug smile, emphasizing on Tyler's name. She glanced at Jessica and they both giggled.

Angela looked at me sympathetically. "Sorry, Bella. I can cancel my plans with my mom, if you want."

I shook my head. "No, don't worry about it," I said reassuringly. "We'll go out another time." I smiled at her convincingly. Angela was really nice. The last thing I wanted was to have her mother-daughter plans destroyed, especially over something as trivial as going shopping with me.

Right after school, we drove in a convoy to my house with Jessica and Lauren behind me in Lauren's car. I parked my car and went inside the house, changing my jacket as quick as I could. As I ran back down and into Lauren's car, I realized I had not been able to drink my medication for the day. I shrugged off the worried feeling. _What harm could it do? I wouldn't be stressed out tonight. We were only going shopping. I can drink my medicine when I get home,_ I thought.

Lauren and Jessica chatted the whole way to Port Angeles, with me muttering a few oohhh's and aahhh's. It was entirely the same thing when we arrived at Port Angeles and started shopping. They chatted animatedly with each other, ignoring me most of the time. Immediately, I regretted my decision. _I should have said no when Angela said she couldn't make it,_ I thought regretfully as I trailed behind Lauren and Jessica.

Lauren dragged us into an expensive-looking shop. She and Jessica flipped through the racks, squealing every now and then over something that they found nice. I sat down on the couch, feeling a little tired from all the walking we did. We had scoured a number of shops before this one. They tried on so many outfits, I lost count. Really, I didn't see the point in all the fuss they were making about their dates. It was only their first time out with the boys. But then again, maybe I just knew nothing about dates. I stared outside absent-mindedly. It was starting to get dark now, and my stomach started rumbling. Thankfully, Lauren and Jessica made their purchases and we headed out the store.

"We have to go eat," Lauren declared as we stood in the sidewalk, deciding which way to go.

And, of course, Jessica agreed. "Where do we eat?"

Lauren thought for a while. "How about that restaurant we parked in front of?"

Jessica nodded in agreement. "Sure. Bella?" she asked, looking at me.

I shrugged, amazed that she even asked. "Sure."

As we walked back to the direction of Lauren's car, we passed by a bookshop. It was dimly lit and it looked interesting. _Hmmm,_ I thought. _Maybe they had a book on some old legends. One about the Cold Ones._ "Guys," I called to Lauren and Jessica who were some steps ahead of me. "Do you mind if I pop in for a few seconds? There's something I want to look at."

Lauren glanced at Jessica with a twinkle in her eye. "We don't mind, Bella," Lauren said sweetly. "We'll wait for you here."

I nodded and went into the bookshop hurriedly. It was small and dark. There was nobody around. "Hello?" I called. A few seconds passed. No one answered. I shivered a little and scurried out of the shop, feeling a little creeped out. I stepped out into the sidewalk and looked around for Lauren and Jessica. It didn't help much that it was already dark. "Jess? Lauren?"

Nothing.

"Guys?" I called out again. Still nothing.

I decided to wait for a few minutes. Ten minutes passed.

Nothing. Another ten minutes.

Still nothing.

_Uh-oh,_ I thought, suddenly remembered the twinkle in Lauren's eye. I couldn't believe it. They knew I didn't know my way around here. They knew it was my first time to explore Port Angeles. They knew I would get lost. I blinked back tears as my words sunk in. They did want me to get lost.

I started walking aimlessly. Maybe somehow I would end up on the main road. Didn't all roads lead to that? I fought the tears that were threatening to fall. I couldn't believe people could actually be so mean. I would never have done that to my worst enemy. I continued walking, going where my feet led me. I felt so bad, I wasn't really thinking of where I was going. I just followed the road, turning left or right, wherever my feet took me. I snapped out the trance I was in and looked around, realizing I was far from the main road since it was practically deserted. I saw some people go into some place down the road. It was brightly lit and I could hear faint music coming from its direction.

_Maybe it was a restaurant_, I thought hopefully. _Maybe I could ask the way._ I hurriedly made my way there, gasping a little as I was already out of breath. When I was outside the place, I realized it was a bar. With drunk men. As I started to back away, I heard someone whistle. I turned to look and saw a man with his two front teeth missing, grinning at me menacingly.

"Hey, sugar," he called out. His friends were also grinning from ear to ear. "You look lost."

"Um, no," I managed to choke out. "Excuse me, I have to go."

The men laughed loudly. "Hey, don't be like that. Let's all get to know each other. Don't be scared, we're pretty nice. We can even buy you a beer, if you want. So you'll be too drunk to feel a thing." He looked at me with the eyes of a maniac, and wiggled his eyebrows up and down suggestively. Disgusting.

His friends hooted. "Way to go, Lonnie," someone shouted approvingly, patting his shoulder.

I knew I was in trouble. I crossed the empty street and walked away from them as hurriedly as possible. Still, I didn't have any clue where I was heading. I glanced behind me and saw that three men had followed me. I turned left at a corner, and then turned right. I hoped I was just being paranoid. But when I turned to look, they were still there. They looked determined, and they had their eyes trailed on me.

Oh. My. God.

I panicked, and ran as fast as I could. Unfortunately, though, it wasn't fast enough. I glanced and saw that the men had also begun to pick up speed. Not running, though. Maybe they knew they would just catch up eventually. Maybe they knew I was weak and frail. Or that I was clumsy, and I'd fall eventually.

The adrenaline must have been kicking in, because amazingly, I only tripped twice. A few more meters into the run, and disaster struck. I felt so out of breath, I thought my lungs would explode. Everything started to turn into a blur. I couldn't see where I was going. My panic was starting to shoot up. I blinked my eyes rapidly, trying to clear my vision. My head started to spin wildly out of control. I tried to see if they were still behind me, but all I could see was blur everywhere.

I gasped for air, but realized I couldn't.

And suddenly, everything went black.


	13. Hero

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**_

**13 – Hero**

~ Edward ~

"She's staring at you," Rosalie suddenly snarled from beside me. We were sitting at our usual table in the cafeteria during lunch hour. I glanced at her and saw her eyes shooter daggers at Bella. I never quite got Rose, but ever since I had admitted to have fallen for Bella, she suddenly very much hated "the human girl". And whenever I would try to get into her mind to understand her hatred, she would profusely block me out.

"Stop it, Rose," I growled under my breath, making sure only my family could hear me. "If you ever touch her—"

Rosalie stopped glaring at Bella and rolled her eyes at me. "Relax, Edward. I was just staring. It's not like she's going to melt." _Although, I wish she would. Oh, honestly, I can't fathom why Edward is in love with this pathetic human girl._

I growled again, this time, louder. "Drop it, Rose," I spat. I glared at her.

Emmett sighed. "Guys, will you quit fighting?" He turned to Rosalie and played with her hair. "Why do you hate her so much, sweetie? She's going to keep the secret. You don't have to worry. Alice already saw that, that means her mind is made up."

Rosalie glared at me. "I know her mind is made up, Emmett," she snapped.

Alice rolled her eyes. _Rose is jealous, Edward._

I turned to her, looking at her with puzzled eyes.

_I don't know,_ Alice thought. _I just get that vibe. Ignore her. Jazz usually does. I usually do._ She giggled, and then proceeded to toy with Jasper's hair. "Would you like a new hairstyle, Jazz?"

Jasper feigned a look of horror. "Please, no. Don't hurt me." He pretended to cower. It was quite funny really, seeing as how Jasper towered over little Alice.

Emmett and Alice laughed. Rose just rolled her eyes, clearly still not in the mood. She was screaming insults in her head. I couldn't bring myself to laugh either. I was still pretty miffed. I had to distract myself from Rose. After all, it wouldn't do us any good if Rose and I got into a not-so-violent-for-vampires-but-shocking-for-humans fight. It sure as hell would alarm the people here. So listened to the buzz of thoughts in the cafeteria instead.

As soon as I heard Bella's name, I immediately tuned in to that thought.

_It will be fun making Bella jealous,_ Lauren thought. "Okay. We'll have fun shopping. And I'm sure you'll have a jolly time watching me pick my dress for my date with Tyler," I heard Lauren say. She said Tyler's name as if it meant something. _Ha. You'd be jealous now, Bella._ Seriously, was there a good gene in this girl's body?

Wait.

Jealous? Why would Bella be jealous? Did she like Tyler?

A strange feeling crept inside me at that thought. My stomach churned and I could feel rage towards this Tyler guy.

It was a new feeling, never felt in my entire existence as a vampire.

I. Was. Jealous.

_Poor Bella. Lauren shouldn't be so mean,_ Angela's thought interrupted my own. Immediately, I switched to her mind. Angela's head was much more comfortable than Lauren's. Or Jessica's, for that matter. _Maybe I should go shopping with them. So that Bella will have someone to talk to. I can cancel out on Mom._

Hmm. So they were going shopping tonight. Interesting. But where?

"Don't worry about it," I heard Bella say. "We'll go out another time." I imagined she was smiling reassuringly when she said this. She never wanted anyone to make a fuss over her. It was one of the countless reasons why I loved her – she was selfless.

_Shopping at Port Angeles will be so much fun_, Lauren thought. She sipped her juice absent-mindedly. _Even with stupid Bella there. Ugh, what do all the boys see in her? At least Edward Cullen apparently realized she's nothing special. She'd never be good enough for someone like Edward Cullen._

If I had blood running through my veins right now, it would have boiled. Bella was far from stupid. Definitely more intelligent than Lauren by heaps. But that wasn't what pissed me off the most. It was that she thought I was avoiding Bella because she wasn't special.

Because she was. The most.

Special. And precious.

Too precious for a monster like me.

Did Bella think that way too? That she wasn't good enough for me?

If she did, it was definitely my fault.

The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch hour. Students stood up and hurried out of the cafeteria to get to their classes.

As Bella walked away, I watched her, trying to memorize everything about her. For it was only with the Bella in my memories that I could ever be as close as I wanted to be. Without ever hurting her.

I drove home that afternoon, silent most of the way. Emmett and Rose were making out in the back seat as usual. Jasper was thinking about the basketball he'd played during gym that afternoon. Alice sat in the front seat, humming a song in her head.

We got to the house in no time, vampires loved to drive fast. I entered the house and greeted Esme who was sitting on the couch, watching television. I sat down next to her, pretending to watch the show too.

I tuned everything out, wrapped up in my own thoughts. I wondered if Bella was already at Port Angeles. I close my eyes and was once again amazed by the Bella in my memories. I imagined her eternal eyes gazing into mine. I wondered what it would be like to touch her face, to even just brush my hand across her blushing cheek. I yearned to see her, be with her.

So much it hurt.

Alice suddenly bounded into the room with a grin on her face. She parked herself in between me and Esme. "You can't avoid her forever, Edward."

I turned to her, about to snap something about minding her own business. But I saw that her eyes were filled with concern. She truly cared, she wasn't just in for the amusement and the thrill. I sighed. "I know."

Esme reached and patted my hand. "You won't hurt her, son. You know you can control yourself. You know you'll be extra careful." She smiled encouragingly.

Alice nodded in agreement. "Don't worry, you won't." And then a smile spread across her face. "Quite the opposite, in fact."

"What do you mean?" I demanded. What was the opposite of hurting her? Not hurting her, obviously. But I could see in Alice's eyes that there was something more.

Alice shook her head and continued to smile.

I didn't understand.

Would someone else hurt her? I stood up abruptly at the thought. "I'm going to Port Angeles," I called out as I headed out the front door, catching a glimpse of Alice's knowing smile.

I drove to Port Angeles with top speed. Instead of the normal couple of hours, I got there in half the time. It was already getting dark. _I should have come here earlier,_ I thought to myself. Finding Bella would have been easier when it was still light out. Especially since I couldn't hear her thoughts.

Thankfully, Alice has dragged me to enough shopping trips so I knew exactly where I was going. I drove to where most of the clothing shops were, relief flooding inside me when I spotted Lauren's car. I was about to park my car when I heard their thoughts.

_Oh, my God. That was hilarious._ Too irritating. Definitely Lauren.

"Do you think she'll get lost?" Jessica asked worriedly. _I just wanted a little fun. Maybe that was too much._

Immediately, I knew Bella was in trouble. Where was she?

_I hope she will._ "Maybe not," Lauren said dismissively. "Don't worry, Bella'll turn up. Pests always do." God, this girl was a piece of work.

"If you say so," Jessica said, her voice still sounding worried. She glanced at Lauren apprehensively. "Maybe we should find her. I mean, she is new in town. She would never know her way around here." _Maybe we should have waited for her. Leaving her on purpose seemed funny at the moment, but I feel guilty. Will Lauren get mad?_

_What??!_ I thought to myself in outrage. _They lost Bella on purpose??!_

I could feel myself getting angrier and angrier by the minute. What total miscreants! It was all I could do not to get out of my car and teach the girls a lesson. I stepped on the gas pedal, my tired screeching in response. I combed through the town, looking for her left and right. I went in the direction of the bookstore I had seen in Jessica's head. Bella, however, was nowhere to be found. I jumped from head to head, scanning their thoughts, hoping to catch a glimpse of Bella. I opened my window and caught a whiff of Bella's very faint scent. I followed it, straining my nose, commanding it to search for Bella's freesia smell. The scent, however, ended in a deserted road. I felt panic shoot through me as I realized that Bella had been walking in dark roads alone. I continued driving, following my instincts. It was something I had learned from Jasper. He was a very experienced fighter and he always told me to follow my gut feel. A few minutes later, I passed by a bar. There were two men drinking beer outside, talking and laughing loudly.

That's when I saw Bella in his thoughts. Vile thoughts that deserved to be silenced.

I sped off, knowing Bella was in deeper trouble than I had ever imagined. I drove around, turning right and left here and there. My window was still opened and it was only a couple more blocks when I could inhale the scent of freesia again.

Bella.

I went even faster, following her scent. Bella needed me. I couldn't let her down. I could never let her down. The thought of Bella in so much danger from iniquitous beings nearly pushed me over the edge. And it suddenly occurred to me that Bella was so fragile, I could lose her at any given moment. So many things can go wrong for a human.

I turned left and there I saw three men walking towards a girl's limp body.

Bella's limp body.

"Wow, looks like we got lucky with this one. We didn't even have to beat her to unconsciousness," I heard one of them say. The others laughed loudly.

Was I too late? I could never live with myself I had been too late to save her.

"The boss will be happy," another one said. "This will be easy."

No, I was just in time.

I sped towards Bella, nearly running over the three men.

"Hey!" one of them shouted.

I jumped out of my car and raced towards Bella. I carried her in my arms and glared menacingly at the three men.

They were bigger than me, but when they saw my wild eyes, they stopped in their tracks. "If you know what's good for you, you will run as far away as possible," I hissed threateningly. They glanced at one another with uncertainty, fear evident in their eyes. They walked away quickly, glancing behind their backs every now and then, making sure I wasn't trailing them.

I carried Bella to my car and carefully laid her down in the backseat. "Bella?" I whispered urgently in her ear, willing for her to wake up. Her skin felt cold. I shook her gently. "Bella."

I was about to get into the driver's seat, thinking that I needed to bring her to the emergency room, when she suddenly gasped for air.

Her eyelids fluttered open, and I found myself staring into her endless chocolate eyes.

She gazed at me for what seemed like the longest time, her eyes combing every detail of my face. "Edward," she whispered, her voice shaking with emotion. "You saved my life."

As she stared up at me, I could see the different emotions swimming in her eyes. Security. Gratefulness. Awe. Bliss.

And for the most fleeting moment there, I could have sworn I'd seen the look of love.


	14. Secrets

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**_

**14 – Secrets**

~ Edward ~

I watched as Bella slowly sat up. When she had already steadied herself, she slowly got out of the car. I reached out, and she took my hand. If she thought it was cold, she never showed it. I led her towards the front passenger seat, never letting go of her hand.

Bella sat down, and then glanced up at me. "Um, Edward?" she said shyly.

"Yes, Bella?" I stared down into her deep brown eyes. My memories did her no justice. It could never capture enough of the warmth in Bella's eyes.

She smiled teasingly. "You can let go of my hand now."

My lips began to play a smile. Bella was teasing me. "I'm sorry, Bella," I said slowly. I let go of her hand and leaned down. I gazed deep into her eyes, and she stared back at me, seeming dazed. "But you seemed like you didn't want to let go."

Bella snapped out of her daze, and her jaw dropped open. "What?" Her cheeks flushed red.

I chuckled as I sauntered over to the driver's side. "Seriously, though, are you feeling alright now?" I asked, searching her face. I was terrified, seeing her so deathly pale.

She nodded. "I am. I fainted from exhaustion. And too much tension." I looked at her, trying to see if she was just making excuses. But she looked fine now. The color had returned to her cheeks.

I sighed. "Okay, if you say so. If you do feel faint again, do tell." I gunned the engine. "Now, where to? Let's go get you some dinner?"

Bella shook her head. "I'm really not hungry."

I frowned. "You need sugar in your system, Bella. You just fainted." I drove the car towards the direction of the restaurant. I frowned again when I saw Lauren's car. "Did you know that your friends left you on purpose? You need better friends than that, Bella."

Bella frowned. "Yeah, I figured." She sighed, and I saw some hurt in her eyes.

"I don't want you hanging around those two girls anymore, okay?" I told her. "You get into enough trouble yourself, you don't need people to add to that. People like that need to be taught a lesson. Do you know how much trouble you were in, even without you fainting? I don't know what I could have done to those men if I wasn't so worried about you." I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose.

Bella took a deep breath and nodded. "Good thing you came when you did." And then she stared at me. "Wait. How did you know about Lauren and Jessica?"

Oops. "I ran into them earlier," I responded smoothly.

"Why are you in Port Angeles?" Bella demanded. Her eyes had a mischievous glint in them.

I found a parking space right in front of the restaurant. I parked and then opened my door to get out.

"Edward," Bella whined. I almost laughed. She sounded too much like a child asking for a candy.

"We'll talk in the restaurant," I said reassuringly.

"You'll tell me everything?" she asked, her eyes pleading with mine.

I sighed. I could never resist those eyes. "Yes, Bella, I will."

"Promise?" she breathed, still looking at me from under her thick lashes.

I had to smile. "I promise."

That seemed to content her. I walked around to her side and opened the door. I held out my hand and she automatically took it. When she got out of the car, she let go of it. I glanced at her and saw that she was blushing furiously. I chuckled as I held the restaurant door open for her.

_Oh. My. God. Why is she with Edward Cullen?_ Lauren. "Bella!" she called out, waving us over.

Bella looked at me with a warning glance. "Be nice," she muttered under her breath. We walked to their table.

"Hey," Bella greeted them with a weak smile. Bella was too nice for her own good.

_Wow. Edward looks g-o-r-geous. _"Hello, Edward. Bella! Are you alright?" Jessica asked anxiously. "We didn't mean to lose you." She looked at Bella uncomfortably.

"Please, girls, we know you did mean to lose Bella. Pretentions are not needed," I said as politely as I could. Bella shot me a warning look, but I could see an amused twinkle.

Both Lauren's and Jessica's mouths dropped open. "I-it was just a joke," Lauren stammered. It was amazing, her thoughts were absolutely blank. So were Jessica's.

I nodded. "I understand. Do you know how much trouble Bella was in, though?" I asked in a smooth voice.

They both wordlessly shook their heads.

"She fainted," I informed them. Jessica's eyes almost popped out. "Because she was running away from men who wanted to take advantage of her."

Jessica's jaw dropped. So did Lauren's. _Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God._ "We never meant for that to happen," Jessica choked out.

"I know. But I'd really appreciate it if you stayed away from Bella. I don't want her to have friends that only cause trouble. We'll be going now, do enjoy the rest of your meal." I smiled. And then I grabbed Bella's hand and led her to an empty table in the corner. I wanted as much privacy as possible, I was going to be telling her everything.

I suddenly realized as we neared the table that Bella was shaking. I turned to her in alarm, but smiled in relief to see that she was shaking in laughter. "Why are you laughing?" I asked, pulling out a chair for her.

"You were a perfect gentleman," she said in amusement. "Even though you were telling them off." She giggled.

I smiled. "I didn't want to start a scene. Besides, being with you made me a lot calmer." I winked at her.

Sure enough, Bella's cheeks turned scarlet. I wondered what she thought whenever she blushed.

The waitress arrived. _W-o-w. Is he a movie star? Is this his girlfriend? No. Couldn't be. I'm prettier than her._ "Hi," she said flirtatiously. "What would you like to have?" _You can have me._

I chuckled at the waitress's thought of me having her. Because I could very well have her—for dinner. "We'd like two Cokes, please. Bella? What do you feel like having?"

The waitress turned to her with disinterest. "Um, I'll have the mushroom ravioli," Bella told the waitress.

_Ugh. Why do I have to serve her? I'd rather serve the movie star._ "And you, sir?" the waitress turned to me with a big smile.

"None, thank you," I said, keeping my eyes on Bella.

_Hmph,_ she thought while walking away. _She's not that pretty._

"So," Bella said as soon as the waitress was out of earshot. "Let's start with something fairly easy. Why are you in Port Angeles?"

I sighed dramatically. "You're never gonna let this go, are you?" I couldn't help it. I enjoyed teasing her.

Bella pouted.

I laughed, resisting the urge to touch my fingertips to her lips. Not to mention the urge to kiss her. "I'm just teasing, Bella."

She smiled a little.

"Fine. I followed you," I admitted. Did she think I was a stalker?

Probably not, because her smile widened and her eyes twinkled. "How did you know I was here?"

"I overheard your friends talking about it during lunch," I said. I didn't really need to mention the fact that I was about fifteen or twenty tables away.

She frowned. "Hmmm. And how did you know that I was in trouble?"

"I bumped into Lauren and Jessica when I got here," I answered with ease. This wasn't so bad.

"So they told you that they left me on purpose?" she asked incredulously. Her eyebrows furrowed.

Oops. Looks like I spoke too soon. "Well, I kind of heard their minds."

"Kind of heard their minds?" Bella asked in awe. "You can read minds?"

I hesitated. What would she think of me?

Bella looked at me intently. "You know you can trust me, Edward."

I looked at her, and immediately knew that I could. I sighed. "Yes, I can read minds. Excluding yours."

Bella stared at me in surprise. "Why?"

"Why can I read minds, or why can't I read yours?"

"Why can't you read mine?" she asked. She looked positively puzzled.

"I have no idea, Bella. It's the first time I've encountered a mind I can't read." Or endless brown eyes I can't resist.

"So how did you find me?"

"I followed your scent," I answered. "And read the minds of the people I passed, hoping that maybe someone had seen you. And then I passed by that bar. I heard what the two men outside were thinking. They were waiting for the others to bring you to them. Their heads filled with so many lustful thoughts about you. I wanted to teach them a lesson, but I had to find you."

Bella gazed at me for the longest time. She reached out and touched my hand. "Thank you for saving my life, Edward" she whispered.

I gazed back into her deep eyes, happily drowning in them.

Bella cleared her throat self-consciously. "You followed my scent," Bella repeated to herself. She took a bite of her ravioli and sipped her Coke. She looked at me thoughtfully.

"Do be careful, Bella. It's not that I don't like saving you," I started. "But you do scare the hell out of me, getting in too much trouble like that."

"Okay, Dad," she teased, rolling her eyes. And then she frowned. "Aren't you going to eat anything?"

I shook my head. I had hunted this morning before going to school. "I already had my meal," I said with a smile.

To my surprise, Bella returned the smile with a glint in her eyes. I noticed she had only taken one bite of her ravioli.

"Finish your meal, Bella," I told her, gesturing towards her meal.

"But I'm not done talking," she protested.

I laughed. "We'll talk in the car," I assured her. "As soon as you finish your meal."

That seemed to do the trick. She ate her food, finishing half of it. "I'm done," she announced after sipping her Coke.

I shook my head. "You didn't finish your food."

Bella shook her head stubbornly. "I'm full."

I sighed. "Fine," I said. "Let me get the bill." After the flirtatious waitress handed me the bill, I slipped in some money with a little tip. I stood up and held my hand out to Bella, helping her to her feet. I guided her out of the restaurant, keeping my hand on the small of her back. We got to the car and I held the passenger door open for her.

"Always a gentleman," she said softly without looking at me.

I slid into the driver's seat and brought the engine to life. I coasted through Port Angeles, glancing at Bella from time to time. Was she scared of me?

"Edward," Bella suddenly said, breaking her silence. "I think I know what you are."

I kept my face in composure. But inside, I was a mess. She knew? How did she know? Does she think I'm a monster? Is she afraid? Will this be the last I see of her?

"It doesn't matter," Bella whispered. "I don't care."

I stared at her. "Bella, I'm dangerous."

"I don't care," Bella repeated stubbornly. She stared out the window.

"Bella, look at me," I hissed. "I'm a vampire."

Bella whipped her head in my direction. "I know."

"So why—"

"Edward, I don't care, okay?" Bella insisted. "I don't!"

"Bella, do you remember the first time I met you? When you had asked me if you smelled?" I reminded her.

Bella frowned, looking puzzled. "Yes?"

"Well, you really did smell," I told her. I held up my hand as she started to speak. "You smelled incredibly like flowers. Freesia, to be exact. And I have never ever smelled something so sweet in my entire existence. We are vegetarian vampires, Bella, my family and I. It means we only drink animal blood. But that doesn't mean we don't thirst for human blood." I paused, looking at her, seeing if she was already terrified. But she looked exactly the same. "I'm very strong, Bella. I could hurt you without intending it."

Bella shook her head. "I don't care, Edward," she said, sounding stubborn.

"Why? I'm a monster."

"Because I look at you, I look at your eyes," she said, her voice shaking with emotion. "And all I could possibly see is an angel."

I sighed. I imagined hearing those words so many times. "I'm not right for you, Bella," I said.

At this, Bella fell silent. I looked at her, but she quickly looked away. Not before I saw the tear that fell from her eye.

I sighed and stopped the car. "Bella," I said gently. "Please look at me."

She shook her head.

I reached out and cupped her chin with my hand, forcing her gently to look at me. "Why are you crying?"

Bella looked down, remaining silent.

"Don't be difficult, Bella. Please work with me here," I pleaded.

Bella sighed. "I'm just really stupid. You followed me here, you saved me. But that's it. You shared your secret with me, and I thought…" She stopped, looking down at her hands. She was embarrassed. I didn't have to be a mind reader to know that. She looked out the window again, avoiding my gaze. "I was wrong to think I would ever be good enough for him," she whispered under her breath, obviously thinking I wouldn't hear her.

She thought I had rejected her. Because she wasn't good enough.

I sighed. "I wasn't going to tell you. But since we're at it, I have one more secret to tell."

Bella kept staring out the window.

"For quite some time, I have been fighting this. I kept trying to convince myself that this would pass. That I didn't need it. But now I could see that it won't, because it just keeps getting stronger every single day. I think it's about time I stop fighting."

Again, I reached out and I held her face in both of my hands, making sure to be as gentle as possible. I looked into her eyes, and she gazed back looking vulnerable. "Bella, I am in love with a girl. A girl with eternal brown eyes, who takes my breath away every time she looks into my eyes. A girl who sweeps me off my feet each time she smiles. A girl with the most selfless heart, and the bravest soul. I am in love with a girl named Bella Swan."

Bella looked at me, tears streaming down her face. "I love you too, Edward," she whispered.

My entire existence, I never thought I'd hear myself say I needed love. I had combed the entire world, seeing all kinds of beauty, never wishing for one to be mine—I didn't need love.

But now, looking into those endless eyes, I could see that I was wrong. Very wrong.

I need love.

I need Bella.


	15. Introductions

**A/N: To those who are wondering when Edward will find out about Bella's sickness, I'm not gonna tell. Haha. Just be patient. The point is, I don't want the story to seem rushed. Teehee. Anyhoo, thanks to everyone who read my story, favorited and added it to their alerts. You all make me want to write more.**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**_

**15 – Introductions**

~ Bella ~

My eyes fluttered open.

Last night has been the most blissful night of my life. I couldn't believe it myself. I kept pinching myself to see if I was awake. And Edward kept laughing at that, of course.

"Morning," my favorite vampire whispered next to me. Edward had stayed over, using his amazing vampire skills to sneak up to my room.

I was still nestled in his stone cold muscled arms. It wasn't the most comfortable position, but I didn't care. I wanted to stay there forever. I smiled up at him. "I'm really awake?"

Edward laughed, a musical sound that I found I wanted to hear every so often. "Yes, Bella, you are very much awake. I would know if you were sleeping." He had that amused twinkle in his eyes.

Uh-oh. My mother always told me I talked in my sleep.

"Okay, spit it out. What did I say while I was sleeping?" I demanded. This was embarrassing, I hadn't thought about this at all last night when Edward was singing me to sleep.

Edward laughed as he gazed down at me and stroked my cheek gently. And then his eyes turned serious. "You said my name. And you said you loved me." He smiled at me, his eyes full of happiness.

He was happy that I loved him. My Greek god was happy that a measly human loved him. My heart swelled.

I pretended to pout. "That's embarrassing," I whined.

Edward chuckled. "Don't worry about it. If I could ever dream, I'd only dream of you." He planted a kiss on my forehead. And then he groaned. "You smell even better in the morning."

I frowned. "I thought you were getting used to my smell." I wanted to be near him every second, but I didn't want him to be hurting.

"I was," Edward answered. "It's your smell mixed with the morning dew. But don't worry, I can still manage. I won't eat you." He smirked, teasing me.

"Very funny," I said, snuggling closer to him. He was my hero. He would never hurt me. Not with the eyes of an angel.

Edward suddenly sat up. I looked at him questioningly. "Your dad's coming. I'd better go get changed. I'll pick you up in thirty minutes." He kissed my nose and then quietly dashed out my window.

"Show off," I said, hoping he could still hear me. I sighed happily.

"Bella? Are you feeling okay? Why aren't you getting ready for school?" Charlie asked, knocking and poking his head into my room.

"Couldn't be any better," I quipped, putting on a big smile on my face. I sat up. "I was just getting ready."

"Hmm," Charlie mused. He stared at me. "You're actually looking better today. More color in your cheeks. Don't forget your medication. I'm off to work now, kiddo." He smiled awkwardly and closed my door.

I got out of bed and showered immediately. After showering, I took out my medication from the cupboard, filled my glass with water, and drank. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Charlie was right, I looked better today. My cheeks were tinted with red, and my skin was glowing. For some reason, I couldn't wipe the silly smile off my face.

I ran from the bathroom to my room, giddy with excitement. I got dressed quickly, throwing on a blue blouse with my jeans. I grabbed my jacket and raced down the stairs. As soon as I finished my bowl of cereal, I peeked out the window.

Sure enough, his Volvo was parked on Charlie's spot. He stepped outside his car, and waited for me with his crooked smile. I opened the door and stepped out. "Perfect timing?" he asked with a smirk.

"Nah," I said as I approached his car. "You're just showing off."

Edward laughed as he ruffled my hair gently. He opened the passenger door for me and helped me in. He strolled over to his side and quickly got in.

"Who would have thought a vampire would be the perfect gentleman?" I mused, eliciting a laugh yet again from Edward.

"You humans have us backward, you know," Edward said defensively, starting the engine. "You would find that a lot of your scary vampire stories aren't exactly true. We actually get a laugh out of them."

"Hmm," I mumbled. "You can go out in the sunlight, then?"

Edward chuckled. "Well, we can. The problem is, it would totally give us away. That's why we never go to school when the sun's out. We go hunting instead."

My curiosity shot up. "Really? Give away how?" I wondered how Edward would look like in the sunlight.

Edward's eyes crinkled as he smiled. "Someday, I'll show you."

"And you don't sleep in coffins?" I asked stupidly.

Edward roared with laughter, his head thrown back.

I blushed. "Edward," I whined. "Don't tease!"

He bit his lip, obviously trying to keep from laughing. "No, we don't sleep in coffins. In fact, we don't sleep at all." Oh, so that explained the purple eye circles. Can he turn into a bat? "And we certainly don't turn into bats, if that was your next question."

My mouth dropped open. "I thought you couldn't read my mind!"

Edward smirked. "I can't. That next question was obvious."

I swatted his arm playfully. "Can the rest of your family read minds too?"

Edward shook his head. "That's just me. They have their own talents, though. Alice can see the future, Jasper can sense and control your feelings, Carlisle is extra compassionate, and Emmett is extra strong."

I nodded. "Cool." I wondered what my special talent would be if I turned into a vampire.

"Cool?" Edward repeated, looking amused. "You are a strange girl, Bella Swan." Before I knew it, he was pulling into the school parking lot. He parked right next to Rosalie's convertible, which was still amazingly surrounded by admiring kids. Edward stepped out of his Volvo, rounded the car and got to my side. He opened the car door for me and offered his hand.

I took his hand without really thinking. When I got out, I could see every kid outside staring at us. "Edward," I whispered. "Everyone's staring." I looked down consciously.

"Well," Edward said, slinging an arm over my shoulder. "You're looking very beautiful this morning, my love. The blue suits you perfectly." He kissed my forehead.

As we passed by the group of kids huddled by the stairway, I heard Edward chuckle and pull me closer. He must be hearing their thoughts.

"Tell me," I whispered.

He shook his head, still looking amused.

I pouted.

Edward laughed. "That's not fair, Bella. You know I can never resist when you look like that."

I pouted some more, staring up at him with puppy dog eyes.

Edward laughed some more. "Okay, okay. I'll tell you. The guys are all jealous, of course. Mike Newton is pretty mad. He thinks he's better for you than me. And he wonders what it's like to have his arm around you like this." He squeezed me. "Tyler is mad that I got to you before he did. And he's pretty sure you would have picked him if he's gotten to you before me."

I rolled my eyes. "He doesn't even come close to you. And the girls?"

Edward smiled and shook his head.

Fine. It didn't take a mind reader to know they were all jealous, anyway. They all looked like they wanted to hit me or something.

Edward walked me to my first class. "See you later, my love," he whispered, planting a kiss on my forehead. As he did, he winced slightly.

I frowned. Did his throat still burn? "Are you okay?" I asked anxiously.

Edward smiled. "Don't worry about me, I'm fine."

I went into class in bliss. The morning went by in a blur. I couldn't really concentrate on what the teachers were saying. All I could think of was the fact that I was the luckiest girl in school. No, in the planet. The bell signaling lunch hour rang without me knowing it, and there was Edward at the door, waiting for me with my favorite smile.

"You know, you don't have to walk me to my every class," I said shyly, as we headed to the cafeteria hand in hand. I brought his cold hand to my lips and kissed it. "But I love that you do it."

Edward put on a look of astonishment. "Not walk you to your every class? But, Bella, love! You might trip!" He smirked.

I felt my cheeks turn red. I shook my head. "You have too much fun teasing me, Edward."

Edward laughed as he grabbed two trays and filled them with food.

"You're eating that?" I asked. He couldn't eat human food, right?

"Of course not," Edward said. "These are for you. I've seen your eating habits, you really do need to eat more." He filled the trays with different kinds of food: pizza, salad, an apple, fresh milk, dessert, and who knows what else.

"I can't finish all of that food," I protested. Oh, honestly, he was gorgeous. Did he want a fat girlfriend?

Edward's eyes crinkled. "Don't worry, I was just kidding. The other tray is for me." He winked.

Oh, I got it. It was for his cover. Contrary to what was expected, I wasn't finding the whole vampire thing scary at all. It was actually pretty interesting. We made our way through the crowded cafeteria. I looked down, letting my hair fall into a curtain to cover my face. Being with Edward meant always being stared at, and I hated the extra attention. Not to mention the glares from practically every girl.

We sat down on an empty table for two a couple of tables away from his family. They, too, were staring at us. Rosalie, as usual, was glaring at me. Emmett, her mate, was looking at Edward with an amused expression. Alice was looking eagerly at us, and Jasper was holding Alice with a smile on his face, as if he was restraining her.

"What does your family think of me?" I asked Edward. "They don't like me, do they?"

Edward frowned and looked at Rosalie, who rolled her eyes at him. "It's not that they don't like you. They're just worried of what might happen if things ended badly."

"If things ended badly, meaning you end up eating me?" I quipped. I wasn't scared at the thought at all. I knew Edward never would.

Edward chuckled. "Not just that, Bella. You know I'm very strong. I have to be very careful around you, or one stupid mistake could break your arm or crack your skull."

"Oh," I said, avoiding Rosalie's piercing glare. Alice looked friendly, though.

Edward reached across the table and covered my hand with his. "Don't worry, it's just Rosalie. You don't need to worry about the others."

I looked at him questioningly.

"When I first told them about you, it was quite a scene. Alice was the only one who supported me amongst my siblings. In the end, it was Carlisle and Esme who helped my siblings understand," he explained, glancing at them. "Well, except for Rosalie. But don't mind her. I usually don't."

I could see Alice and Jasper chuckling, and Emmett trying to hold his laughter. Rosalie looked positively peeved; I thought smoke would come out of their ears. Did they hear every word we said?

"Bella?" Edward said softly and somewhat shyly. "Would it be too much to ask if I told you I wanted you to introduce me to your father?"

I smiled at that. He looked a wee bit embarrassed. If he had blood coursing through his veins, they would have rushed up to his cheeks. "Yeah? You want me to introduce you to the Chief?" I teased lightly, enjoying the rare occasion of Edward being embarrassed.

He looked even more embarrassed, I almost burst out laughing. "Yes. I just want him to know who you're always with. And I want to have his blessing on our relationship."

I stared at him, completely forgetting about teasing him. Could this guy be any more perfect?

"But if you don't want to—"

"No," I interrupted, squeezing his hand. "There is no other guy I would rather bring home to my dad. And I can see how much it means to you. Even if it will be a million times awkward with Charlie." I rolled my eyes.

Edward laughed. He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. "Thank you, Bella. I have been wanting to introduce you to my parents for the longest time. And I know Alice is getting pretty excited already. She's been annoying me day and night, asking when she will get to talk to you." He chuckled.

Much as I wanted to meet Edward's family, I was scared. So you could guess that I was dreading the coming Saturday. What if his parents didn't like me, like Rosalie? What if Alice decides she doesn't want to be my friend after all? What if they all decide I'm not good enough for Edward? What if they tell Edward to stay away from me?

But more than all those, I was dreading Charlie having to meet Edward. I know he had high respects for the Cullens, especially the doctor. But he was as opposed to me dating as I was before I met Edward. For him, it was a waste of time and energy seeing as how it would only lead to nowhere.

Saturday right after lunch, the doorbell rang. Edward.

"Be nice, Dad," I muttered as I stood up from the kitchen table to open the door.

"Hey," I greeted Edward, who stood smiling at the doorway. "Come on in."

Charlie had stood up from the kitchen table and was standing behind me.

"Hello, Chief Swan," Edward greeted politely, extending his right hand. "My name is Edward Cullen. I'm here to take Bella out."

Charlie's eyes widened at Edward's perfect manners. He shook Edward's hand firmly. "Call me Charlie. Have her home early, Edward."

I grabbed Edward's hand, hoping to get off easy.

"Bella," Charlie called calmly. "Is Edward your boyfriend?" He eyed our tangled hands.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Dad, he's my boyfriend."

"Uh-huh," Charlie said absent-mindedly. "And does he—"

I shook my head, immediately cutting him off. I didn't want Edward to know about my sickness. Yet. I will tell him. In time.

Charlie looked at me disapprovingly. "I hope you know what you're getting yourself into, young lady."

I shot him a look, hoping he would understand that I needed him to be quiet now. "We're going, Dad."

He nodded. "Not too late, okay? It was nice to meet you, Edward. Do send my regards to Dr. Cullen."

Edward nodded. "I will. The pleasure is all mine, Charlie."

When Edward and I were safely in his Volvo, I breathed a sigh of relief. Glad that was over. Everything with Charlie was always awkward.

"What was that all about?" Edward asked.

"Nothing," I replied easily. "Wait, couldn't you read his mind?"

"Only very little. Only thoughts that are very closely related to what he is saying and they're mostly in a buzz. I can only catch a word or two," Edward replied. "I guess you got it from him."

I sighed in relief. Edward apparently didn't hear anything about me being sick.

I stared outside the window at the thick forest that we were passing. I suddenly realized that we were going very fast. "Edward!" I exclaimed in alarm.

"What?" he demanded. "What's the matter?"

I pointed to his speed meter, which was pointing to over 100 kilometers per hour. "You're going way too fast!"

Edward laughed and then winked. "Vampires like to drive fast."

"Suppose you would turn this car into a pretzel around a tree--" I started.

"Heaven forbid!" Edward interjected jokingly.

"—you can walk away totally unscathed. But I can't," I reminded him. I could feel my hands getting cold.

Edward reached out and held my hand. "I know that, Bella. Don't worry, vampires have excellent reflexes. I know what I'm doing. You know I would never put you in harm's way, right?"

Well, he had a point. But still. I pouted.

Edward chuckled and slowed the car a little so that it now pointed to 80 kilometers per hour. "There. Happy, my little scaredy-cat?" he teased, kissing my hand.

"Not quite," I answered, still pouting. "But it'll do."

Edward laughed as he turned the car to an out-of-trail road. A few minutes later, a gorgeous mansion came into view. It was very modern, far from what I thought his house would look like.

Edward parked his car next to Emmett's big jeep and ran at vampire speed to help me out. As we walked towards the main entrance, I swear Edward could hear my heart thundering.

"Edward," I whispered, holding back a little. "What if they don't like me?"

Edward let out a musical laugh. "Let me get this straight. You're worried that they might not like you, not because you're about to enter a house full of vampires."

I looked at him and shrugged. "They can't be scarier than you."

Edward laughed again and pulled me gently. "It'll be fine, you'll see." He opened the door and led me into a spacious and modern living room. It was huge, with the couch set in the middle and a huge flat screen television. In the corner, I could see a piano resting on a platform.

"We're here," Edward called out. His voice wasn't too loud, but a few seconds later, his parents came into the room.

Wow. My mouth dropped slightly open. I couldn't help it. They looked surreal, all too much like movie stars. Dr. Cullen looked very handsome and young, as did his wife.

"Guys, meet Bella," Edward said to his parents. "Bella, these are my parents Carlisle and Esme."

Esme clasped my hand and smiled warmly at me. "Welcome, Bella. We're so glad you could come."

I smiled back shyly, feeling out of place in the presence of such beauties. "Thank you, Mrs. Cullen. I'm pleased to be here."

"Please, call me Esme," she said with a tinkling laugh.

Dr. Cullen stepped forward and shook my hand. "Hello, Bella. Welcome to our abode. Do make yourself at home."

I nodded, feeling dazed. "Thank you, Dr. Cullen. I will."

Dr. Cullen laughed. "Just Carlisle for me."

"Edward?" a sing-songy voice called out. Alice entered the room gracefully, looking like a ballerina. Jasper followed after her.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Alice, I'd like you to meet Bella."

"Finally!" Alice danced over to me and gave me a gentle hug. "Hi, Bella! We're going to be great friends! This is Jasper. He's my mate."

Jasper nodded at me politely and smiled.

Esme cleared her throat. "Alice," she said in a warning tone, glancing warily at me. She obviously thought I would be scared.

"It's fine, Esme," I said with a smile. "Vampires don't really scare me. At least, Edward doesn't."

They all laughed.

"He'd better not," Alice said in a menacing tone. "Tell me if he does, and I'll whack him for you." She sounded funny saying this as Edward towered over her.

I laughed. "That's very nice of you, Alice."

Edward rolled his eyes. "I can see you're both going to get along."

"Incredibly well!" Alice exclaimed. "I've seen a vision of the two of us being best friends, Bella. Did Edward tell you?" She toyed with Jasper's hair.

I glanced at Edward. "No, he didn't." I wondered why he never mentioned it.

Edward cleared his throat. "Where are Rose and Emmett?"

Emmett entered the room, as if on cue. He shook his head. "Sorry," he said apologetically. "I couldn't get her to come." He slung a burly arm over my shoulder. He looked big but he was incredibly gentle.

"Careful, Emmett," Edward warned. He looked at me warily.

Emmett let out a booming laugh. "It's fine, right, Bella?" he asked me with an impish grin.

I liked Emmett too. He was cool. I grinned back. "Sure."

Edward smiled. "All right, you all seem acquainted now. Let me give Bella a tour of the house." He lifted Emmett's arm and replaced it with his own. "See you later, guys."

He then guided me to the kitchen which amazingly had a long table. What did they need the table for? Edward must have noticed me staring at the table because he chuckled. "It's where we sit down to talk about important matters."

I nodded. We headed up the stairs and I saw framed pictures of each one of them. "Did Carlisle turn all of you into vampires?" I asked.

Edward shook his head, looking at Carlisle's photograph. "He turned me first, after two centuries of being alone. I was sick with influenza and I had no hope of surviving. That's the thing about Carlisle. He would never turn someone unless there was no hope of living. He found Esme at the bottom of a cliff and thought she was dead. Amazingly, her heart was still beating faintly. Rosalie was raped and then murdered by a group of men. She was close to dying when Carlisle found her. Rose found Emmett attacked by a bear in the woods. She carried him to Carlisle and asked him to turn Emmett. Alice and Jasper came to the family later, after Alice had a vision of us."

We continued up the stairs. The first door was Carlisle's and Esme's, the next one was Rosalie's and Emmett's. Across that was Alice's and Jasper's, and the last room belonged to him.

"Does the person have to be dead to be turned into a vampire?" I asked curiously, an idea beginning to form in my head.

"Dying," Edward corrected. "The heart still has to be beating, no matter how weak." Edward opened the door to his room and ushered me in. In the middle was a couch. One wall was covered entirely with CDs, and an expensive-looking music system stood next to it. One wall was made out of glass from top to bottom, showing the forest below and the velvet sky above.

Hmmm. Dying. That was certainly interesting. I stared out into the sky, watching the stars. "And then you get to live forever?" I asked.

Edward laughed. "Forever is a long time. But, yes. Forever."

"So vampires can't die?" I asked in amazement, turning to him in surprise.

"Sure, we can. When another vampire attacks and then burns a vampire, that'll be the end," Edward answered with a wink.

I shuddered at the thought of another vampire attacking Edward. "And then what? Hell?" I asked.

Edward was quiet for a moment. "I actually don't know. Carlisle believes we develop souls depending on how we live as vampires. But I'm not entirely convinced. Some people think we go directly to hell, no matter how good we were as vampires. But I think after a vampire dies, there's nothing."

"Do you regret having Carlisle change you?" I asked. Surely, having no soul bothered him than he let on.

"No," he answered truthfully. "Despite what may come after, damnation or nothingness, I believe I have led a fulfilling life. And now that I met you, I feel truly complete. Having met you makes up for an eternity of damnation."

I couldn't speak. I felt overwhelmed. Nobody had ever said such words to me. Nobody had ever spoken with so much truthfulness in their eyes.

I looked into Edward's eyes, and saw eternity.

Forever only seemed like a dream.

And now, it seemed within reach.

Was I willing to give up everything?

To be soulless.

To dive into nothingness.

Could anything ever compare to being with Edward?

Nothing.

Not my life, not even my soul.

Because forever with Edward would be my only dream come true.


	16. Secret Garden

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Again, for those who are asking when Bella will tell Edward, please be patient. I want to make their relationship stronger first, so that it becomes more shattering for Edward and Bella. I'm cruel, I know. Haha. And for those who felt like the previous chapter was paced fast, it's because it covered what most people already knew – how the Cullens were changed, the house, etc. So anyway, thanks for the reviews, favorites and alerts! :)**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**_

**16 – Secret Garden**

~ Bella ~

Weekends were what I looked forward to the most. I get to spend the two days entirely with Edward.

A week had passed since I had officially met the Cullens, and we were getting along pretty well. With one stunningly gorgeous exception by the name of Rosalie.

It was Friday, and we were sitting at their regular table during lunch hour, planning the weekend.

"I know," Emmett suddenly said enthusiastically. "Let's take Bella out to play baseball!" He grinned at me. He was obviously teasing. Everyone knew what a hopeless klutz I was.

I rolled my eyes. "Very funny, Emmett."

Edward laughed, ruffling my hair. "Don't take Em seriously. No human can ever play baseball with us, terrific balance or not."

That made me feel a little bit better.

Alice rolled her eyes at Emmett. "No one's playing baseball this weekend, boys. It's going to be sunny for the entire weekend," she informed everyone.

_Sunny! It was going to be sunny! _I thought excitedly, looking at Edward. He'd promised to let me see him in the sun.

Rosalie grinned smugly. "I guess we're going hunting, then. Would you like to come, Bella?" she asked me in a fake sweet voice. While she usually just ignored me, there were times when she rubbed it in my face how different Edward and I were.

Apparently, Edward noticed this too because he suddenly snarled. "Rose, if you don't have anything good to say, please shut up."

Jasper and Alice were able to hold their laughter successfully. Emmett, however, snorted loudly, eliciting a whack on the head from Rosalie.

"So, where are we going hunting tomorrow?" Emmett asked his brothers. "The last mountain was too easy. There were no bears at all." Emmett had a thing for bears. They were his favorite meal. Maybe because it felt like revenge.

"I'm going hunting tonight," Edward announced. "Bella and I are doing something special tomorrow." He winked at me. I could see he remembered his promise to show me what sunlight did to him.

Emmett groaned. "Party pooper. You know what would be totally fly? If you change Bella into one of us. Then we'd all get to go hunting together. And Bella can play baseball. Would you like that Bella?" he asked with a big grin. From what Alice has told me, Emmett had the least struggle when he woke up and found out he was a vampire. He embraced it whole-heartedly.

I opened my mouth and then shut it. I didn't know what to say, truthfully.

Of course, I had been thinking about it a lot recently. It was the perfect solution to everything.

Before I found out that immortality was possible, dying early hadn't been a problem for me. I had come to accept the fact that I was going to die a little sooner than my family and friends – okay, a lot sooner. But that was just how things were for me, how fate played out for me.

Until I met Edward.

Until I met Edward, and fell in love with him.

Now that I know for sure immortality is within my reach, I become afraid of dying more and more each day. Every time I wake up, I'm one step closer.

One step closer to dying.

One step closer to leaving my family.

One step closer to leaving Edward.

Yes, becoming a vampire would totally seem like the obvious solution to my impending death. And yet, I still wasn't totally convinced yet. Would immortality be worth my soul? Would immortality be worth the nothingness that would follow, or the eternal damnation?

For these, I had no answers yet.

Thankfully, Edward saved me from answering. "Emmett," he said in a warning tone. "This has been discussed within the family. Bella will not lose her soul."

Emmett snorted.

"I mean it," Edward hissed. His eyebrows were drawn together and his golden eyes darkened, looking dead serious. He leaned across the table slightly, almost preparing for attack.

"Edward," I said calmly. "We don't have to discuss this now. Do calm down." I put my hand on his shoulder and pulled him back. The last thing we needed was for the boys to start a row in the cafeteria. Especially since they had all that extra strength.

"We don't have to discuss this, period," Edward said sternly, indicating that the matter was closed. He wasn't having it. He didn't want to change me, and that was that.

* * * * *

The next day was sunny, as Alice had predicted. Edward went hunting for the night, so he didn't stay over. I woke up early, got dressed quickly, drank my meds and prepared breakfast for Charlie.

"Hey, Dad," I greeted him with a smile as he entered the kitchen. "Pancakes?"

"Sure," Charlie replied, taking a seat.

I placed his plateful of pancakes in front of him, whistling to myself. I remembered Edward singing me to sleep every night except last night, and I smiled. He said he's composed the lullaby for me.

Charlie looked at me curiously. "You're in a jolly mood," he commented, shoving a forkful of pancakes into his mouth.

"I guess," I mumbled. Was I that obvious?

"Must be that Cullen kid," Charlie said in an off-handed fashion. He ate another forkful.

I shrugged. "Maybe."

Charlie put his fork down. "Bella, I think it's unfair that you're not telling him. I hope you won't leave the telling to me. I hate talking about it, you know that. But I will tell him if you won't."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to tell him, Dad. Don't worry. I won't die and leave you that task."

"Bella," Charlie said in a warning tone.

"Sorry," I muttered. "But I really will tell him, Dad. I'm just waiting for the right time. It's takes a lot to tell someone you love you're dying, Dad. And I—I don't think I'm ready to tell him yet."

Charlie sighed. "Alright. You take your time."

I looked up at him and snorted. "It's not like I have much left."

Charlie remained quiet. I could tell he wanted to comfort me, but didn't know how.

After a few more minutes of awkward silence, we both heard a car engine hum outside. That had to be Edward.

"That Edward?" Charlie muttered.

"Yeah, he's taking me out. I gotta get going, Dad," I told him, making my way out of the kitchen. And then I stopped short, looking at him. "Leave your plate in the sink, I'll take care of that when I get back."

Charlie rolled his eyes. "I've been washing dishes since way before you were born, Bella. I think I can manage."

"Alright, then," I said. "I'm off." I hurried outside the house and stepped into the sunlight. Wow, the sun hadn't shined on this part of the world for weeks and weeks. I smiled.

I wondered why Edward didn't get out of his car to greet me, and remembered that the sun did something to him. I hurried over to his car and slipped inside the passenger seat.

"Looks like somebody likes the sun," Edward commented with my favorite smile. He leaned over and kissed my forehead. He groaned. "One night away from you and your smell gets stronger by a hundred times."

"Sorry," I said apologetically.

Edward chuckled as he pulled out of the curb. "Don't apologize, love. It's not your fault for smelling so darn good."

I giggled. "So, where are we off to?" I'd kept myself awake with excitement last night, wondering where Edward was taking me.

"It's a surprise," Edward said with a wink. And then his expression softened. "I like to go there alone to think. I like to think of it as my own special place. I have never brought anyone else there."

My heart fluttered. It made me feel really special to have Edward bring me there.

Edward mostly took the way to his house. Instead of taking the off-the-trail road leading to his house, however, he continued on the trail. A few miles later, or it seemed few due to his insistence on driving fast, he stopped the car. The forest was thick. I looked around and all I could see were huge trees. It was dark, I couldn't even see the sun.

"Is this it?" I asked Edward, trying to sound pleasant. I couldn't hide the surprise in my voice, though. "It's pretty and everything, but there's no sunlight." The point, I thought, of bringing me to his special place was to show me what wonders Edward did in the sun.

Edward chuckled. "Hold your horses, Little Miss Smarty Pants," he said affectionately. "This is obviously not the place. C'mon, let's go." He went out of the car quickly, and I followed his lead. Stopping in front of the car, he suddenly turned to me with uncertainty. "How do you feel about hiking?"

I laughed. "You know me better than that question, Edward."

Edward frowned. "You're right. You'll be full of blisters even before we're halfway through."

He thought for a couple of seconds before his eyes lit up. "How do you feel about motion sickness?"

"Hmm," I mused. "It isn't too bad, I guess."

"Good," Edward said with a laugh. "We'll get there faster. Hold on tight, okay?"

Before I knew it, he picked me up and carried me on his back. He started running really fast. And I mean, really fast. All around me, I could see blurs of green and brown. My eyes were wide open in shock, having no fore warning. I kept worrying about hitting branches or trees, but Edward seemed to have no problem dodging all of them.

After a few minutes that seemed like hours, Edward finally slowed down. "See the sun?"

I squinted my eyes. "Not at all," I managed to choke out.

Edward chuckled. "It's too far away for your eyes."

After a few more minutes, I saw the sunlight shine through the trees. And it became more and more evident as Edward ran further. Finally, after what seemed like centuries, Edward stopped. Streams of sunlight was shining through the trees. Up in the distance, there was a clearing.

I eagerly walked towards it. I gasped when I stepped out of the shadows and into the sun-lit clearing.

It was breathtakingly beautiful. The view was something I had seen only in paintings and photographs. The clearing was surrounded with beautiful flowers in a wild array of colors. The grass in the small field was very green and it still smelled of morning dew. Where the field ended began a stretch of clear water. The sun shone on the water, making it sparkle. It was a small lake, and behind it were rolls and rolls of green hills. It was the very definition of picturesque.

I suddenly understood why Edward liked to come here alone to think. The place was peaceful, and it had a serene feel. For someone who lived on the edge all the time, this would be the perfect place.

I turned and saw that Edward held back. He was still standing amidst the shadowy forest.

I looked at him, wondering why he was still there.

"Are you ready?" Edward asked softly.

I took a deep breath and nodded.

"Close your eyes," Edward said softly. A heard a whoosh of air, and I could feel him standing close to me now. "Now, open them."

I opened my eyes slowly.

Nothing could have ever prepared me for what I saw next.

Before me stood the most beautiful I had seen of Edward. His skin was sparkling in the sun, as if he was made up of little diamonds.

I stared at him. Amazed couldn't even begin to cover how I was feeling.

I was positively spellbound. Enchanted. Enthralled.

Was this beautiful god real? Or was he just an illusion?

Edward took a step towards me slowly. "Don't be scared, Bella, it's just me."

I continued to stare at him. Scared? Why would I be scared? This was my Greek god.

"Bella?"

I walked slowly until I was right in front of him. I reached out and touched his diamond skin. It was smooth and as cold as ever. "Wow," I breathed. I reached up to touch his face. "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my entire life."

Edward smiled. "You took the words right out of my mouth, Bella."

Edward took my head and led my near the lake. We sat down on the grass.

I shook my head and smiled. "I can't take my eyes off you. You look amazing." I traced patterns along his arm, down to his hand. I entwined my fingers through his and brought his hand to my lips. I inhaled it, smelling the incredible scent coming off of his skin.

Edward stroked my cheek gently with his free hand. "As you do."

Edward laid down on the grass and closed my eyes. I laid down at the crook of his arm and continued to stare at him, wondering how I ended up with this beautiful Greek god.

I was staring at him for the longest time, and I could stare forever. Until my stomach growled.

Edward opened his eyes and laughed. He reached beside him and produced a basket filled with food. "Lunch for the human," he quipped.

"Where did that come from?" I asked. I never noticed it.

"You didn't think I'd let you go hungry, did you?" he said playfully. He laid out all the food on a little blanket that he'd also brought along. "I experimented."

"You cooked these?" I asked incredulously. The food looked incredibly good. I popped a croissant into my mouth. Tasted incredible, too. "Wow. You learned to cook for me."

Edward shrugged. "It wasn't too hard," he said breezily.

I laughed. I ate quickly, eating almost everything that Edward had brought. The food tasted really well, even with the fact that Edward couldn't taste human food right. "Tsk, tsk. There goes the only thing that I could do better than you," I commented when I was done eating.

Edward laughed as he put everything back in the basket quickly. "I'm glad you like my cooking."

And then Edward took off his clothing and dove into the water. "Join me, Bella. The water is great," he said with a smile when he resurfaced.

I laughed. I took off my jeans and went jumping into the lake with my shirt still on. I hit the water. It wasn't cold, just the right temperature. Edward was laughing when I resurfaced. "Oops, I forgot to take my shirt off," I said sheepishly.

"I figured," Edward teased, still laughing. He swam around for the longest time, reminding me of how he didn't have to breathe.

"Show off," I said when he resurfaced, splashing him with water.

He laughed. "Oh, don't start a war you're never going to win," he taunted. And then he splashed water to my face.

We played in the water for hours, getting out when the sun started to go down.

I was lying on the grass, staring at the rolls of hills when Edward took my hand and pulled me up. He rolled his pants up, sat down on the edge and dangled his feet in the water. He motioned for me to sit next to him.

I rolled my jeans up and sat down next to him.

Edward took my hand and held it in his. I laid my head on his shoulder.

The sun was now starting to set. He stared off into the mountains and was silent for a moment. And then he spoke, his voice full of emotions. "My name was Edward Masen. It was the early 1900s when influenza became an epidemic. My father had already died, and I could remember my mother was also sick. We were both in the hospital. Her condition was worsening, and so was mine. Carlisle was the doctor who was taking care of us both. My mother had developed a complete trust in him. When she died, she pleaded for Carlisle to take care of me. She knew I was dying too. She begged him to do everything in his power to save me. She had to know Carlisle was different. So Carlisle brought me out of the hospital. I remember it being so chaotic so getting out had not been difficult at all. He took me to his home, and that's where he changed me." Edward's voice shook while he spoke. "All I can remember is the burning sensation. The pain was incredibly intense. It went on for three days. And when I woke up, everything was different."

"Different how?" I prompted. I could tell Edward didn't like telling this story very much. He looked pained.

"I was suddenly thirsty for blood. Carlisle had explained everything to me, which helped me control my thirst. There was a time, though, that I rebelled against him. I went my own way and hunted humans. I defied every single thing Carlisle had taught me. After about a decade, I realized that I was wrong. So I came back. And I've stuck by him ever since."

A thought suddenly occurred to me. "If Carlisle had given you a choice, would you have rather died?"

Edward became silent. I could tell he was thinking really hard. "Maybe. Because then I had no idea vampires could be good. All I knew of them was that they killed people. But now it's clear that isn't entirely the case. And seeing how much help Carlisle gives so many people, it makes me wonder how someone as good as that can have no soul. It gives me hope."

"So you don't entirely believe you're soulless," I deduced. That was certainly interesting.

"No, I don't," Edward admitted truthfully. He looked at me seriously. "But I'm not entirely sure. That's why I'm very apprehensive."

I looked into Edward's golden eyes, and I saw all the goodness there. The same thought crossed my mind. How can someone who was capable of boundless love and immense care have no soul?

"Bella," Edward said. "You are the most important person to me. My world doesn't just revolve around you. You are my world. And if you leave, my world would simply cease to exist. I have waited for eighty years, and now that you're here, the wait seems insignificant. I wasn't looking for love, and yet you came. You have forever changed me. I hope you know you mean everything to me."

My eyes started to water. I couldn't say anything.

"You have seen the good in me, ignored the monster that I was. And for that, I am eternally grateful. I am a lion, and you are my lamb. And yet, I went ahead and fell for you. How someone can love a monster like me, I cannot fathom. I have seen that you have the most beautiful soul, so selfless and loving," Edward said softly. He let go of my hand and pulled me into a hug. "I will love you until the end of forever."

Tears started pouring down my face.

What did I do to deserve Edward? He was perfect.

I couldn't see the monster that he was always talking about. Never.

And I believed with all of my heart that he had a soul. A beautiful soul, one which he failed to see.

Somehow, I now had the answer to my unrequited questions.

Yes, Edward was worth the nothingness that might follow, or the eternal damnation.

And yes, he was worth giving up my soul.

"And I will love you even after the end of my days," I whispered in his ear.


	17. Weak

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**_

**17 – Weak**

~ Bella ~

Things had gone pretty smoothly for me for a couple of weeks.

Until one Monday morning, I woke up and immediately panicked.

I felt incredibly weak, and my joints were awfully painful. As I slowly got up, I realized I could hardly do so. I used my arms for support, bracing them against my bed as I got up.

_What was happening?_ I thought nervously. I was taking my medication. They were supposed to make me stronger.

_The medicine wasn't going to work forever,_ I reminded myself. I would die soon, I knew that. What was my problem?

I walked slowly to the bathroom, filled my cup with water and took out my medication from the cupboard. I stared at the bottle of medicine for a long time, feeling tears well up in my eyes.

Of course, I was scared. Who was I kidding? Why did I ever think dying young was okay?

Another part of me contradicted. No one ever said life was fair. It was what fate has brought me. All I could do was accept it and make the most out of it.

I drank my medicine, and washed my face to get rid of the tears that were threatening to fall. But just as soon as they had disappeared, the tears in my eyes welled up again. And for the first time in months, I allowed myself to cry.

In a little over three months, I'd be gone.

Where would I be then?

What lies in the unknown?

Fear of the unknown, fear of death – they never used to bother me all that much.

But now, waking up to another day and feeling very weak reminded me of how little time I really had left.

How close I was to one day not waking up anymore.

And that scared me. It scared the hell out of me.

As I put the bottle of medicine back into the cupboard, I noticed that my hands were shaking. I shook them vigorously, willing myself to shake off all the fear. My crying now turned into sobbing. I had to get a hold of myself. I drank the water in my cup and turned the faucet on, splashing cold water to my face. I took a deep breath and composed myself.

I opened the bathroom door and stepped out, only to see Charlie standing outside with his brows furrowed together and his eyes filled with concern.

"Bella? Were you crying?" Charlie demanded. He searched my face, resting on my red-rimmed eyes. "What's the matter? Are you all right?"

I didn't trust myself to speak, so I shook my head.

"Please tell me what's wrong, Princess," Charlie begged softly, his face looking completely torn. I could see the fear in his eyes too, mixed with the pain. I realized this was as hard for him as it was for me. No father took pleasure in the fact that their daughter was dying before them.

My face crumpled at this thought, feeling so sorry that my father had to go through this. I never wanted him to feel the pain of losing a daughter. After a moment's hesitation, I reached out and hugged him awkwardly.

I was about to pull away when I felt Charlie's arms tighten around me. I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes, allowing the tears to flow. "I'm scared, Daddy," I whispered. "So scared."

Charlie took a deep breath, as if he was trying hard not to cry. "I know, Princess," he said in a shaky voice. "I am, too."

I sniffed and pulled away from Charlie. I looked up at him and smiled weakly. "Your shirt's all soaked now," I said sheepishly.

Charlie smiled and ruffled my hair. "That's fine, squirt. Why don't we both stay home today?"

Since I didn't feel well enough to go to school, I nodded in agreement. Charlie patted my shoulder and I went back to my room. I stared at my reflection on the mirror beside my closet. My face was pale, and my eyes looked like they lacked a week's worth of sleep. There were two big bruises on my left leg.

I sighed as I padded over to my bed. I wondered how long I should keep this from Edward. I know he would be angry because I didn't tell him sooner. But will it make him change his mind about turning me into one of them?

I was willing to give up my soul, if it meant being with him forever. But did he want me around for forever too? What if he would be so angry when I would tell him that he wouldn't want to have anything to do with me?

No, Edward wasn't like that. I should know better. He would be angry, I know, but he'll come around.

He has to.

I spent the entire morning lying in bed, thinking about the same things over and over. How would it feel like to die? What would Edward say when I finally told him? Would it change his decision, knowing that I had no life ahead of me? Would he want to be with me forever too?

The phone rang during lunch time.

"Bella, it's Edward on the phone for you," Charlie called from downstairs.

"Coming!" I slowly got out of bed and went down to the living room to pick up the phone. My joints were hurting pretty bad, so it took my quite a while to get there. I picked up the phone and held it to my chest. "Dad, do you mind?" I whispered to Charlie.

Charlie looked at me for a moment, and then shrugged. He retreated to the kitchen.

"Edward?" I said into the phone.

"Bella," Edward said urgently. "Are you all right? Why aren't you in school? Alice said she saw you in bed."

"I'm fine, Edward. A little under the weather, but still breathing," I joked weakly.

"Not funny, Bella," Edward said. I could almost see him frowning. "Do you want me to come over? I can skip the rest of school."

"No," I responded quickly. The last thing I needed was for Edward to see me looking like I was about to pass out. He was sure to get too concerned. "Don't worry, Charlie's keeping me company."

Edward sighed. "Bella."

"Really, Edward, I'm fine. Charlie's taking care of me," I told him in a reassuring voice. I toyed with the phone cord. "I'll see you at school tomorrow, okay?"

Edward sighed again. "You're being impossible. But okay, if that's what you want."

"It is," I said. "Don't worry about me too much, okay?"

"You know I can never manage to do that, Bella," Edward replied. His voice was sad, and it was filled with concern.

I sighed. "I know. I love you, Edward."

"I love you too, Bella. Please take care of yourself."

I put the phone down and stared blankly at the wall. Hearing the concern in Edward's voice, I felt even more scared. If knowing I was not feeling all too well worried him much, what would knowing that I was dying do to him?

I went back up to my room and laid in bed again. Once I had found a comfortable position, I felt my tiredness kick in and before I knew it, I was drifting off to sleep. It was one nightmare after another. The last one being the most vivid in my memories.

_I was walking through the forest, looking for the sunlight. I looked around, hoping to catch a glimpse of it. I squinted and looked harder. My spirits lifted as I spotted it. I hurriedly walked towards it. Wondering why I was alone, I looked back. _

_Instead of seeing Edward, there was complete and total darkness. And it was moving. It was moving fast, as if it was chasing me. I broke into a run, not wanting the darkness to catch up to me. But as I ran faster, it also moved faster. _

_I tripped over a rock and fell. I glanced back to see that it was nearing me, almost enveloping me. I forced myself to stand up and start running again. _

_I ran as fast as I could. The sunlight was almost there. I could almost feel its warmth. I was getting out of breath from all the running. _

_Just a little bit more, I told myself. I could now see the clearing, the sun shining. I ran faster, with the clearing getting nearer and nearer. Just as I was about to step into the clearing, I tripped again and fell. _

_The darkness neared me. I cried out and saw Edward sparkling in the clearing. He reached his hand out to me. I reached out and tried to take his hand, but it was too far away. The darkness was getting too near, almost touching me. _

_No! Don't take me!_

"No!" I screamed as I bolted up, panting. I was covered in sweat, and I was still a little out of breath. I checked my clock. It was a little over five in the morning.

Wow, I had slept the entire day and night.

I lay back down in bed, and stared at the ceiling. I stayed like that until it was time to get ready for school.

I was still feeling a little out of it, but strong enough to go to school. Besides, I didn't want Edward to worry more. I got ready for school quickly. After changing, I went directly to my car without bothering to eat. I hadn't eaten much the day before; I was feeling very full. I was still feeling full this morning, so I decided to skip breakfast. Was this from all the food that Edward had cooked for me?

I got to school and found a parking space near Edward's Volvo. I looked around when I stepped out of my car, and saw Edward waiting for me. He smiled when he saw me, but the smile didn't reach his eyes.

He walked over to me quickly and hugged me. The hug was also different. It was tighter than usual, and somewhat worried. "How are you feeling?" he asked anxiously. His eyes were filled with distress.

I smiled up at him. "Better than yesterday," I responded truthfully.

Edward stared at me, searching my face. I could tell he was wondering if I was lying or not. Finally, he nodded absent-mindedly. "Okay. Do tell me if you're starting to feel sick again. You and I can go to Carlisle. I'm sure he will know what is wrong with you."

I gulped. The last thing I needed was for Carlisle to find out. Unlike Charlie, his mind could be very well read by Edward. I knew I needed to tell Edward, I was being completely unfair. But when was the right time?

I was still wondering the same thing when Edward and I walked into the cafeteria at lunch hour. As usual, he started to fill two trays with food. I reached out and stopped him. "I'll just be having milk today," I told him.

"You have to eat, Bella," Edward chided, looking at me disapprovingly. "You need energy."

"But I feel full," I protested, feeling very much like a child.

"Have you been eating a lot?" Edward asked, looking confused.

I shook my head. "It's weird, I've been feeling full for a couple of days now. I haven't eaten much in a couple of days."

Once again, Edward looked concerned. He was silent until we sat down at his family's table.

"What happened to you?" Alice demanded. "I know you've been sick in bed all day, but I couldn't see why."

I opened my mouth to respond.

"Did you lose weight?" Rosalie suddenly asked, looking at me up and down. It was the first time she had spoken to me about something that wasn't about me being human and Edward being a vampire.

And suddenly everyone's eyes were on me. "Hey, yeah, you do look like you've lost weight," Emmett commented. Jasper nodded in agreement.

"Haven't you been eating?" Alice demanded. Her eyebrows furrowed disapprovingly.

Edward was still silent, he was staring at me. I couldn't tell what he was thinking at all. His eyes looked worried and guarded. Could he tell there was something wrong with me?

"I've been feeling full," I admitted.

"Well, you do need to eat a lot now," Alice said. Her eyes lit up. "Especially since your birthday bash will be this weekend. You're going to need all your energy."

I groaned. "Nothing elaborate, Alice, please."

Alice laughed her tinkling laugh. "I never said anything!"

Immediately, the subject changed to my upcoming birthday. Since none of them had celebrated a birthday for decades, they were pretty excited. Even Rosalie was ecstatic. Only Edward was quiet for most of the conversation.

It went on like that for the entire week. Even when Edward stayed over during the nights, he was mostly quiet. I could tell he was deep in thought. Sometimes he would suddenly ask me a question about how I'd been feeling lately. He would sound like a doctor who was asking his patient for symptoms.

Edward didn't come to school on Friday. He went hunting with Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper for the entire weekend over at the non-touristy parts of Yellowstone. Emmett was getting bored with the local cuisine, as he had put it.

Alice was the only one who wasn't feeling thirsty. She picked me up in the morning, hung out with me all day and drove me home from school. My last class was Gym, and the teacher had us running exercises the entire time. I was feeling very weak, and my bones had started to ache.

"Are you sure you're okay, Bella? You kind of look out of it," she said with concern as she stopped the car in front of my house.

"I think it's because of too much Gym," I said, giving her a weak smile. "Thanks for the ride home, Alice."

"Anytime," she said, still looking concerned. "Do rest, Bella. You need your energy for the party on Sunday. Eat lots of—err—whatever it is that you humans eat when you're sick."

I laughed. "Sure. Thanks, Alice." I got out of the car, and immediately knew there was no way I could make it to the front door. I walked slowly, trying. I was feeling so woozy, my joints ached, and my head began to spin. I was losing my breath.

I gasped. "Alice—"

And suddenly, everything went black.

*****

I woke up and found myself in a white room with tubes attached to my body. I blinked.

"Bella!" Alice cried out, leaping to my bedside as soon as she saw my eyes open. "Charlie went out to eat dinner. He'll be back soon."

I looked at Alice, hoping against all hopes that Edward didn't find out from someone else. "Alice," I said urgently. "Did you tell Edward?"

Alice shook her head. "We never bring our phones when we go hunting," she said, her eyes wide. "There's no way to contact him in the mountains. He'll be back by Sunday for your party."

I breathed a sigh of relief. At least I could still tell him myself.

Alice stared at me, looking scared. "Bella," she said. "You're sick, I know you're sick. I can't tell what, though, and I can't get Carlisle to tell me."

"Carlisle knows?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Well, duh, who else was I going to bring you to when you fainted? Really, Bella, I never thought you were one for theatrics. You scared the hell out of me." She closed her eyes, as if trying to get rid of the feeling. "Please don't do that again. You humans are very frail."

The door to my room suddenly opened, and Carlisle entered. His eyes were full of concern. He knows. "Bella," he said quietly. "Do you know?"

I nodded.

"Does Edward know?"

I shook my head. I took a deep breath. "Please don't tell him. I want to tell him myself."

Carlisle nodded, his eyes full of compassion. I could tell he understood. "Don't worry, I'll try to guard my thoughts as well. But you have to tell him soon. I'm afraid you don't have much time." He gently touched my hair with his hand, looking sorry.

Alice, who completely forgotten, suddenly growled. "Will someone tell me what's going on?"

I turned to Alice. We had been hanging out a lot at school, going out during weekends. We were getting to be very fond of each other. I trusted her, and I knew she deserved to know too.

"Alice," I said softly. "I have leukemia."

The room was very quiet.

And suddenly, I heard a sob from Alice. Her eyes were dry, vampires didn't have tears. "Oh, Bella," she sobbed tearlessly. "Poor Bella. You're dying?" She looked at me, her eyes filled with fear at what my answer might be.

I nodded. "I have three months left."

Her sobs became louder. "But you're supposed to be my bestfriend! How come I saw that in my vision? We're supposed to be friends for longer!"

I reached out and squeezed her hand.

"I know! We can change you! Right, Carlisle?" she asked urgently, turning to Carlisle. Her eyes looked desperate. "Carlisle can change you! We can be sisters forever!"

Carlisle nodded. "I would love to have you in my family. But that will be totally up to you, Bella." He paused, looking at me seriously. "And Edward; you know how he feels about vampires losing their souls."

"Maybe you can talk to him about it?" I whispered, pleading. "I don't want to die, Carlisle."

Carlisle nodded. He looked at me sympathetically. He leaned down and gave me a brief hug. "We'll take care of you, Bella. Don't worry."

"When can I get out of here?" I asked him. I hated hospitals. I always made me feel like I was getting worst.

"Tomorrow, I can have you released," he answered gently. "As long as you promise to rest all day at home."

I nodded. "I promise." I was thankful for Carlisle. He was very understanding, his eyes so full of compassion.

"When are you going to tell Edward?" Alice asked gently, squeezing my hand too. "He's going to be crushed. Poor Edward. He has to agree to change you, he just has to!"

I closed my eyes. "Soon. When he gets back."

Hard as it would be, I had to tell Edward.

He has been nothing but wonderful to me.

Being honest was the least I could do.

I owed it to him.

**A/N: So for those who are wondering, yes, Edward will find out in the next chapter. Hold your horses. Again, thanks for the reviews, faves and alerts! I never expected so many would like my fic, as this is the first long story I've ever written in my entire life. Lol.**


	18. Celebration

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**_

**18 – Celebration**

~ Edward ~

I was anxious to get home. Although Bella had told me she would be fine the entire weekend without me, I just couldn't shake off the feeling that something was going awry.

I was grateful that Carlisle had lent us the Mercedes Benz; it was faster than my Volvo. We were already seven hours into the drive, about halfway through. At this rate, we would arrive at Forks by twilight.

But I couldn't wait until sundown. I was anxious to see Bella.

I stepped on the gas pedal harder. The car lurched forward.

"Relax, dude," Emmett muttered from the backseat. "Bella's party is still going to be in a full swing until midnight, with all the people Alice invited. We won't miss it if you drive a little slower."

I growled. "Since when do you complain about my driving?" I snapped. I couldn't help it. I was feeling on edge.

It wasn't Bella's birthday party that I was worried about, of course not.

It was Bella. She had been sick earlier this week. Although she kept saying she was fine, I knew she wasn't. All the signs were pointing to the opposite direction of fine. She was always tired, her cheeks had lost color and she was losing weight.

Was there something wrong with my Bella?

I couldn't bear the thought of Bella being in pain.

I wished I had talked to Carlisle about it. But Bella made me promise I wouldn't say anything until she felt sick again.

_What's the matter, Edward? There's a lot of tension coming from you,_ Jasper said in his thoughts. I glanced at him for a second. He was looking at me curiously but worriedly.

"I'm fine, Jazz," I muttered under my breath. Seriously, could this thing go any faster? My foot was relentless on the gas pedal.

_If you say so,_ Jasper thought. I suddenly felt a blanket of calm envelope me. I was feeling grateful towards Jasper. If he hadn't done that, I would have accelerated the car again.

"Geez, Edward," Rosalie said, rolling her eyes. "It didn't kill you to be away from Bella for a couple of days, what's a few more hours?"

Ignoring Rosalie was usually the best way to go. Today, however, I just couldn't bring myself to hold back a retort. "I would never expect a shallow mind like yours to comprehend, Rose. That's why I wasn't talking to you in the first place."

I glanced at the rearview mirror and saw Rosalie roll her eyes. _Stupid vampire. Who told you to fall in love with a stupid human anyway?_

I growled. I pinched the bridge of my nose.

_Don't listen to her thoughts, Edward. It won't make you feel any better_, Jasper thought. He was staring at the road ahead but he was smirking a little. This was one of those times when Jasper understood me more than Emmett did.

I followed Jasper's advice and tuned everyone out. It wouldn't do me any good to listen to Rosalie's thoughts. He was right, it would only add to my agitation. I remained silent for the rest of the drive, my thoughts still on Bella.

True to my prediction, we arrived at Forks just as twilight hit the town. Alice and Esme were beside themselves, busy preparing for Bella's birthday bash. As soon as I saw them, my anxiety melted away. Today was Bella's birthday, and everyone was excited. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

"Hey, guys. How are the party plans coming?" I asked them both as I came into the living room. They were doing the decorations; Esme was busy blowing up colored balloons and Alice was running around the room, covering the walls with black fabric.

_Would all these black be enough? Hmmm. Maybe I should run to the store to get more._

Alice grunted in response. Esme, who was in the middle of blowing a pink balloon, just smiled and waved. _Hi, Edward,_ her mind said.

I chuckled, and shook my head. There was no point in talking to women who had parties on their minds.

I ran up to my room. I headed straight for the closet and opened the top drawer, knowing exactly what I was looking for. I took out small velvet jewelry box and slipped it inside my pocket. I had the perfect birthday present for Bella, despite her insistent reminders of how we were not to spend money on her.

"Have her here by seven!" Alice called out as I passed through the living room on my way out of the house. If I didn't know Rosalie loved parties, my eyes would have bulged out when I saw her helping with the party preparations. Though Rose had made her excitement clear, it was purely about the birthday party, not the birthday celebrant.

Once outside, I could see Alice had roped Jasper and Emmett into helping with the decorations as well. They were stringing up colored lights up in the trees, probably to illuminate the way for the guests.

_Why not have a little fun while working?_ Emmett thought, his eyes suddenly lighting up. I laughed as Emmett strung the lights around Jasper. "Stop playing around, guys, the guests will be here soon," I chided playfully.

Emmett frowned at me. "Hey, this isn't fair, why aren't you helping?" he complained.

"I'm going to go pick up the celebrant," I said innocently. Emmett groaned and rolled his eyes theatrically.

_Ha, I'll get you, Emmett._

Jasper disentangled himself from the lights and smacked Emmett on the head. He had caught Emmett off guard, so Emmett ended up on the ground with a very loud thud. _Tsk, foiled again!_

"Boys, stop goofing around!" Alice shouted from the living room, apparently after having heard Emmett falling.

"She's worst than a drill sergeant," Emmett muttered under his breath, shaking his head. _I hope she heard that._ He snickered.

"I heard that!" Alice screamed, eliciting a laugh from the boys, myself included.

"I'm off," I told Emmett and Jasper, who resumed working before Alice could get any angrier. I broke into a run, and arrived at Bella's in a matter of minutes. Running sure beats the Volvo.

I knocked on the front door.

I heard Bella's footsteps run down the stairs, and the door opened after a few seconds revealing the loveliest I have ever seen of Bella. She was wearing a blue dress that brought out the creamy color of her skin. Her hair fell in shiny waves around her shoulders and her eyes glowed.

"Hey," she said shyly, a smile lighting up her face. "Alice came over this afternoon and fixed me up."

I smiled and pulled her into a tight hug. "You look perfect. I've missed you immensely, my love."

"I've missed you too," Bella whispered, her voice breaking.

I pulled back and stared at Bella's face. Her eyes were filled with so much sadness, it was breaking my heart. "Don't worry, I'm here," I said softly, stroking her cheek with my hand.

Bella's eyes watered as she nodded.

I reached into my pocket and took out the velvet box. "I have something for you."

Bella frowned, the sadness in her eyes was replaced with surprise. "I thought I told you not to spend money on me," she protested, her eyes widening at the sight of the jewelry box.

I chuckled. "Don't worry, I didn't spend a single dime." I opened the box and took out my mother's old bracelet. I draped it over Bella's wrist, carefully securing its clasp. And then I brought her hand to my lips and kissed it. "Happy birthday, my love."

Bella had fallen silent, staring at the diamond-studded bracelet. "This is gorgeous, Edward," she breathed, looking amazed.

"My mother had given it to me before we got sick," I told her. "It is the only thing I have left that reminds me of her. It's my most prized possession, and I could not think of anybody more special to give it to."

Again, Bella's eyes watered. Her eyes shone with gratefulness, tinged with sadness.

"What's the matter, love? Aren't you happy?" I asked, searching her face. I hated to see Bella looking so sad.

Bella drew in a shaky breath. "I am, I am. You're so wonderful, Edward. So, so wonderful."

I pulled her in for a hug. "Yeah, I guess I am pretty wonderful. You're pretty lucky," I joked with a chuckle.

Bella laughed lightly, and playfully socked me in the arm. Her eyes still wore the same sadness.

I was about to ask her what was bothering her, but the shrill ring of my phone interrupted me. I answered the call.

"Edward, where are you?" Alice demanded. "The guests are here! Where is my celebrant? Is Bella alright?"

I laughed. "Relax, Alice. She's right beside me."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Get over here now," Alice ordered, and then hung up the phone without giving me a chance to say anything.

I chuckled as I snapped my phone shut. I looked at Bella. "That was Alice."

"Oh!" Bella exclaimed, seeming to remember that she had a birthday party waiting for her. "Let's go, we don't want to keep them all waiting." She took my hand and dragged me to her car. Aside from protests about my speed, Bella was silent most of the way. Until we got to the trail that led to my house.

"Wow," she said, staring outside the car window. The guys did a commendable job with the lights. The forest looked enchanted, like thousands of little colorful fireflies were lighting the way.

I parked the car right outside the main walkway. I rounded the car and opened her door, extending my hand. She took it and got out of the car slowly. I heard her gasp as she realized she was walking on red carpet showered with different-colored petals.

I pushed the main door open.

Alice really outdid herself. The entire living room had been converted into a teen club. Black fabric covered the walls, and music was busting through the speakers that Jasper had installed. There was a disco ball, kids were dancing, and there was an entire long table filled with delicious-looking food. Almost everyone from school was there.

_Wow, Bella looks so pretty tonight._

_Bella is looking great. But I still wish Edward was mine._

_Damn, Bella's one lucky girl. Wish I could hold Edward Cullen's hand like that._

I could see Emmett and Rose in the middle of the dance floor, dancing the night away.

"Finally!" Alice squealed, running over to give Bella a huge hug. "You look amazing!" _Bella should dress up everyday. I can't wait until we're sisters._

Bella smiled. "Thanks to you."

Alice shrugged modestly. "Well, I try."

They both giggled.

Alice turned the music down low and climbed to the middle of the stairs. "Bella's here, everyone! Let's all sing her a birthday song!"

Bella groaned but then laughed as everyone in the room began singing a birthday song. Her face, naturally, turned scarlet. "Thanks," she mumbled shyly when the singing was done.

Just then, Jasper joined us with a triumphant grin on his face. "All done!" he reported to Alice.

Bella looked at him suspiciously. "Jasper? What's done?"

"Our birthday present," Emmett said loudly from behind Bella, causing Bella to jump. Emmett let out a booming laugh. He always got a kick out of Bella's nerves.

"What birthday present?" Bella whined. "Guys, this party is enough trouble for you."

I laughed. "They wanted to get you something, love. Give them a chance. This party is no trouble at all. In fact, everyone enjoyed preparing. Even Rose."

_Yeah, surprisingly, I did enjoy. _Rose, who was standing next to Emmett, smiled a little.

Bella sighed and then smiled shyly at my brothers and sisters. "Fine, what did you guys get me?"

"A stereo for your car," Jasper responded eagerly. "And I installed it in your car so you won't be able to return it to us."

Bella laughed. "Thanks, Jasper, everyone. I really appreciate everything you've done. I promise I won't return the stereo."

"Let's dance!" Rosalie shrieked, as a new song came blaring through the speakers. She dragged Emmett to the dance floor and joined the throng of people jumping to the music.

Alice followed her lead, grabbing Jasper's hand.

Bella watched with a happy smile on her face as my sisters danced and laughed with their mates. My heart swelled with pride at the sight of this. Anyone could see Bella simply just wanted everyone around her to be happy. Seeing everyone else happy made her smile.

I took Bella's hand in mine, led her up the stairs and out to the balcony. The music was loud; it could still be heard all the way up. "Let's dance," I said with a smile.

"Only you could ever make me dance," Bella grumbled, pretending to be annoyed. Her eyes, though, shone with happiness. Her hands rested on my shoulders as my hands found their way around her waist.

I hummed Bella's lullaby. And we started slow-dancing under the moonlight.

Bella rested her head on my chest as we swayed. "This party isn't so bad," she said, her voice muffled because of my shirt.

I chuckled as I kissed her hair. "I'm glad you're having a good time."

Bella stopped dancing and walked over to the edge of the balcony, staring at the stars. She smiled a little when I joined her, putting my arms around her shoulders. "I wish we could be like the stars," she said wistfully.

I looked at her questioningly.

"Some get to be around even after the end of time," she explained, still looking at the stars.

"That's a long time, Bella. Do you want to be around for that long?" I asked her, looking at her face. Her face looked peaceful yet somewhat sad. Where was all this sadness coming from?

"I used to think forever was a long time," Bella replied. And then she looked into my eyes, her endless brown eyes boring into mine. The emotions were swimming in the tears that were starting to spill. "But now, it doesn't even seem enough."

No one has ever spoken to me with such sincerity. My frozen heart could have melted. "Oh, Bella. You know there isn't a day that I wished I could be with you forever. I have waited decades for you, and I don't know how my world will keep on turning if I ever lost you."

"Even if we won't be together forever," Bella started, taking my hands and squeezing them. Tears were falling from her eyes. "Edward, I hope you know I would still be eternally grateful for the little time that we've had together."

My breathing stopped. What was she trying to say?

It sounded like…

It sounded like she was saying goodbye.

It sounded like she was saying goodbye now.

What was going on?

"Bella," I whispered, suddenly feeling very afraid. "Tell me what's wrong."

Bella took a shaky breath. But she looked into my eyes bravely, her eyes looking all too vulnerable. She broke into a sob. "I have leukemia."

The entire world came crashing down.

Was this some kind of a sick joke? Today was supposed to be Bella's birthday, a celebration of her life. Nothing was supposed to go wrong. No, this was impossible.

My Bella can't be sick. She can't be.

Pain started to creep in, along with the realization that Bella was far from joking.

It started from my heart and spread all throughout my body like wildfire.

The pain in my heart was intensifying. It was squeezing my heart. I closed my eyes and clutched my chest, willing for the pain to stop.

But it wouldn't. It wouldn't stop.

I found myself gasping for breath, even though I didn't need to breathe.

The pain was becoming incredibly unbearable. I was amazed my frozen heart hadn't shattered into pieces.

"I don't understand," I managed to whisper, my voice sounding strange and weak to my own ears.

"Edward, I—I'm dying."


	19. Torn

_**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, faves and alerts! Sorry it took longer than usual, I was kind of busy for a couple of days. Enjoy!**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**19 – Torn**

~ Edward ~

Three months, that was all Bella had left.

I couldn't even feel the pain anymore.

It had numbed me, my mind. It had numbed my entire being.

"This can't be true," I whispered. "Tell me it's not true, Bella."

I looked at her pleadingly, willing for her to take back her words. She can't die. I knew she eventually would, but not now. Not when she was so young.

Not when we've barely just begun.

Not when I've barely just found her.

Bella's tear-streaked face crumpled as she stared at my face. "Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry. I wish I could tell you it's not true, but it is," she said, throwing her arms around me. "I'm truly sorry for causing you pain."

"How long have you known?"

Bella bowed her head and stared at her hands. "Quite some time now."

"How long?"

"Before I came to Forks," Bella whispered. She looked up at me, her eyes filled with fear. "Are you angry?"

I clenched my jaw. "Why, Bella? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

A tear rolled down Bella's face. Her voice came out in a whisper. "I'm sorry, Edward. But I just couldn't. I wanted to tell you at the right time, when I felt ready. It's not easy telling the person you love most that you're dying."

"And it's not easy finding out that the person you love most is dying."

Bella swallowed, her eyes pleading with mine. "I know. And I'm sorry. Really, really sorry."

I remained quiet.

As I stared at her looking heartbroken, I realized I could never be angry at her. I sighed and I pulled her close to me. "I thought we still had your whole life ahead of us," I whispered in her ear. I hugged her tight, fearing that she would be taken away from me if I let go.

Bella pulled back and looked at me straight in the eye. "Edward, we can have forever."

I looked into her hopeful eyes, and the realization of what she had said hit me.

She wanted to become like me.

Immortal.

Soulless.

_A monster._

Just so I wouldn't have to endure the pain of losing her.

I looked at her face. It was positively breaking her heart seeing me in so much pain. Here she was, willing to give up everything to free me from that pain, willing to give up her soul. I have never met anyone so selfless.

It was tempting. Very tempting.

It would be the perfect answer to every thing. Bella and I would be together forever, she wouldn't have to die so young.

Except, she would lose her soul. Her beautiful, precious soul.

Not quite perfect.

I shook my head. "Bella, I cannot even begin to imagine what forever will be without you. But I will never have your soul sacrificed for my selfishness. Never. It's too precious. You're too precious."

"But don't you see?" Bella argued stubbornly. "It's my soul, Edward. My soul. I'm willing to give up my soul. Because you're precious. Too precious to let go."

"Bella, we're not deciding anything until we're sure."

"But how do we know for sure?" Bella demanded, sounding frustrated. "Who knows how long I really have? It could be three months, it could be a week; I could even die tomorrow. We don't have time to find out, Edward."

"Bella, I love you," I said slowly. "I would never let you lose your soul so I wouldn't have to feel the pain of losing you."

"Edward, I love you more than anything," Bella said, more tears streaming down her face. "I would rather lose my soul than lose you."

I looked into her chocolate eyes, suddenly realizing that one day I won't be able to anymore.

One day soon.

I sighed, and closed my eyes in frustration. "Oh, Bella. What am I going to do with you?"

Bella looked up at me hopefully. "Bite me?"

Despite the horrid situation we somehow found ourselves in, I laughed and shook my head. Trust Bella to find some humor in something so terrible. I kissed her forehead, and hugged her close to me. "You and I – we're going to figure this out," I whispered my promise.

I drove Bella home some time after midnight, when her party had finished. In spite of her incessant protests, I could see that she was feeling tired. Her eyes looked sleepy and she moved slowly.

I sat on her bed, watching her carefully as she came back from the bathroom, now dressed in her tattered night clothes. She was practically asleep on her feet. She carried a bottle in her hand; it looked like a bottle of medicine. "I've been drinking it in the bathroom," she said sheepishly, putting it on her night table.

I frowned at her, shaking my head disapprovingly. Apparently, she knew the bathroom was the only place I would never look. "You naughty girl."

She giggled weakly as she lay down on her bed beside me. "Will you sing me to sleep?" she asked softly, looking at me through half-closed eyes.

"Of course, love."

I stroked her hair gently as I began singing her lullaby. Bella closed her eyes and snuggled against me. Within seconds, she was fast asleep.

I lay Bella against her pillows, careful not to wake her up. I quietly climbed out of her window, jumped down to the ground and ran straight home. Everyone was sitting in the living room, excitedly chattering about the party.

"I should make parties a living," Alice boasted, her face in a big smile. She waved me over as I entered the room. "Don't you think so, Edward?"

"Did Bella like her party, dear?" Esme asked me.

At the mention of Bella's name, my heart constricted. I tried to keep a straight face as I nodded. "Yes, she did. She is very grateful."

_You know,_ Carlisle thought. I looked at him to see him looking straight at me with compassionate eyes. I nodded.

Alice noticed the exchange between us. _Tell the family, Edward,_ she urged in her thoughts. I broke away from Carlisle's gaze and stared at Alice. I looked at her inquisitively. How did she know? Had she seen something? I know she kept seeing Bella sick in bed, but she couldn't tell what exactly was wrong.

_She fainted when you went hunting, _Alice explained, all the excitement in her eyes gone. Her mind flipped through her memories and she showed me one of Bella fainting and then lying in the hospital, pleading with Carlisle. _Good thing I was busy with the party when you got back. I just know my mind could have slipped otherwise._

"Who else knows?" I asked Alice.

She glanced at Carlisle briefly, then back at me. _Just me and Carlisle._

"Who else knows what?" Emmett demanded. He groaned. "This really isn't fair, guys."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Relax, Emmett. Edward will tell you all."

Esme looked concerned. _Tell us what, dear? Is something wrong?_

_Ooh, looks like drama. Maybe he broke up with Bella. Maybe he finally realized she's not really that pretty. I am so much more beautiful that her. _As usual, Rosalie's mind was as vain and shallow as ever.

Immediately I felt a blanket of calm cover me. I looked at Jasper, who was looking at me encouragingly.

I closed my eyes. "Bella has leukemia."

"What?" Emmett's voice boomed, sounding shocked.

_Oh, dear. Poor Bella. Poor Edward._ Esme didn't say anything. She crossed the room and put her arm around my shoulders.

_Bella is dying? What about Alice's vision?_

_Oh. My. Gosh. That is insane drama._

I opened my eyes to find my entire family looking shell-shocked, with the exception of Alice and Carlisle. Even Rose looked at me with wide eyes. "What am I going to do?" I whispered desperately.

Thoughts exploded around me at the same time.

_Change her, bro! Bella would make a great little sister. Wait, does that mean she won't be clumsy anymore?_

_Well, duh. Let her die? Change her, of course. Do you even have to think?_

_I know what you're thinking, Edward. I'm sorry you have to be so confused._

_Whatever you think is best for Bella, dear. You know your father and I will stand by whatever your decision will be._

But they all remained silent as they waited for me to speak further.

Alice stared at me. _Aren't you going to change her?_

I remained silent as I met her eyes steadily. I didn't have a definite answer for that yet.

"Are you insane?" Alice screeched, finally breaking the silence. "You're not going to change her? You're going to let her die?" She ran over to me at vampire speed and shook my shoulder. "What is the matter with you, Edward?"

"Alice," I said sternly. "Of course, I don't want Bella to die. But can't you see that her soul is too beautiful to give up? I can't let her lose that."

"How can you say that?" Alice demanded. "You don't even know for sure that we don't have souls!"

"And do you know for sure that we do?" I challenged.

"No, but neither do you! So it's only fair that you let Bella decide," she shot back. "It's her soul, Edward. Not yours."

I looked at Alice straight in the eye. "I love Bella," I said slowly, letting every word sink in. "If you had any way – any way at all – to keep Jasper out of eternal damnation, wouldn't you pursue it? Wouldn't you do every damned thing you possibly can to make sure he at least has one shot at a beautiful eternity after life?"

At this, Alice snapped her mouth shut. She leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes, looking resigned. _I swear, I'm just gonna change Bella myself._

I growled. "Nobody is going to change her without my permission," I said icily, looking at each one of my siblings. And then I turned to Carlisle. "Please, Carlisle?"

"Of course, son," Carlisle said. He looked at me for a long time. "Edward, I want you to look at your mother. Wouldn't you agree that her heart is filled with love and kindness for everyone?"

I looked at Esme and nodded without hesitation. My brothers, sisters and I were never void of motherly love because of the abundance that Esme had.

"Wouldn't you agree that she is an example, even for humans, of someone who always tries her hardest to do good, even when it is not for her own self or even her own family?" Carlisle continued.

I nodded again.

"Wouldn't you agree that she is as beautiful inside as any human could be?" he asked, his eyes shone with pride.

"Even more," I answered truthfully. Esme took my hand and squeezed it.

Carlisle smiled at me. "Tell me, then -- how can someone as beautiful inside as your mother have no soul?"

For that, I had no answer. His question had completely taken me aback.

_Ha, _Alice thought. _Take that._

Emmett scratched his head. "You're making a big deal out of things, Edward," he said. "Bella wants to be with you forever, you want to be with her forever. So change her, it's that simple. I didn't mind when Rose changed me, I'm sure Bella won't mind too."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Edward likes making things complicated, Em."

"Rose," Esme said in a warning tone. "Give your brother a break."

"Edward, you don't really have much of a choice," Jasper pointed out. "Either change her or she dies young."

"And if you don't change her, I will," Alice burst out stubbornly. "Bella's my best friend."

_Ugh. This is stupid. Stupid vampire. Stupid human._

_Poor Edward, having to make such a difficult decision._

_This is complicated for him. I kind of see where he's at._

_He should just change her and be done with it._

_It is entirely your decision, Edward. We are here to support you._

_Wait—will Bella be prettier than me if she's a vampire?_

_Bella can't die! Edward has to change her!_

Their thoughts were a frenzy around me, aggravating me instead of calming me. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get away.

Far away.

To think.

To contemplate.

On what was more important: Bella's life, or Bella's soul.

Without hesitation, I got up, raced out of the house and ran into the woods.


	20. Run Away

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**_

**20 – Run Away**

~ Edward ~

I ran as far as my feet took me, not really thinking of where I was going.

When I knocked on a familiar door, I was not all that surprised to find myself in this place. The Denali clan was the closest friends my family had.

"Edward!" Irina exclaimed, looking surprised but pleased. She pecked my cheek in greeting and ushered me inside. "Come in, come in. What brings you here?"

"It's lovely to see you again, Irina," I said, walking into the huge mansion. We both stopped as we entered the living room. I gave her a dazzling smile. "Tell me, am I intruding?"

Irina returned my smile with a lovely one of her own. "Not in any way."

I looked at her apologetically. "Then I have a huge favor to ask."

"Of course," Irina responded quickly, her eyes filling with concern. "Anything for a family friend. What concerns you, Edward?"

"Well, there are some things going on back home. I needed to get away for a while to think," I started to explain.

"Of course, you can stay here," Irina burst out before I could even ask. She crossed the distance between us and put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "You know you are most welcome here."

"Thank you, Irina," I said gratefully. "I won't be in your way at all, I promise."

"None of that," Irina said with a wave of her hand. _I know my sisters will be pleased. Especially Tanya, _she thought slyly.Tanya was one of Irina's sisters._ Eleazar, too, will be glad to see you._ She smiled again. "Tanya! Everyone! Look who has come to pay us a visit!"

Their house being extremely large, it took a few seconds for everyone to come down to the living room.

Kate, Irina's sister, was the first to make it down. A beautiful smile spread across her face, lighting up her lovely face. "Edward! So good to see you," she said in her appealing voice, giving me a peck on the cheek. _You're looking good, Edward._

"And you, Kate," I said, smiling in return. I turned to Carmen and Eleazar who just entered the room. "Greetings, Eleazar, Carmen. I certainly hope I am not perturbing you in any way."

"Oh, you most certainly are not!" Carmen exclaimed. She stepped back after giving me a peck on the cheek, and smiled. "It's always lovely to see you! Where is the rest of the family?"

"I came alone," I told her, my smile disappearing. "I needed to get away for a while."

Carmen took in my serious expression, and nodded understandingly. _I understand, Edward. We all need that at times._ She smiled sympathetically, reached out and squeezed my hand lightly. "I hope everybody is doing well, though."

"The entire family is fine," I assured her, grateful for her concern. "Thank you for your concern, Carmen. I appreciate it greatly."

_No problem at all. Do tell if I could be of assistance in any way._ Carmen's smile returned as she stepped back to allow Eleazar to greet me.

Immediately the tall dark-haired Eleazar stepped forward and gave my hand a firm shake. "Edward, my friend. It's been too long!" _Always good to see you, Edward._

"Indeed," I agreed as I returned his handshake. "It's very nice to see all of you again. I really appreciate—"

"Edward!" A squeal interrupted me, which meant Tanya was here. She came hurtling into the room and threw her arms around me in a hug. Which she held for a bit too long. _I can't believe you're here. It's been so long! I've missed you._

"Hello, Tanya," I said politely, very discreetly pushing her away. I had not thought about Tanya at all on my way here. If I had known it would be awkward, I would not have come here.

Many years back, Tanya had confessed her feelings for me. With her strawberry blond curls framing her stunning pale face, her beauty was deemed exquisite by almost every man she met. Her beauty, however, had never captivated me. Not in any way close to the way Bella's endless eyes enthralled me. And although I had made it clear that I did not return her feelings, Tanya still tended to get very close whenever I was around.

Tanya pouted as she took a step away from me, sensing my discomfort. _Still not into me. _"So, Edward, what brings you here?" she asked, her eyes shining with curiosity. _Are you here for Kate? Or Irina? Not my sisters, Edward. Anyone but my sisters. It would positively break my heart._

I smiled a little. "I had to get away from home for a small time, Tanya. I hope you don't mind that I stay here. Don't worry, I won't be in your way at all."

Tanya flashed a coy smile my way. _Oh, Edward. You know I love it when you visit._ "You ran away? Why?" _Fight with Emmett? Jasper? Carlisle?_

I chuckled. "Well, I never thought of it like that, but now that you mentioned it – yes, I ran away," I answered, avoiding her second question.

"Why?" Tanya asked again. She played with the ends of her hair, still looking at me curiously.

_Tanya doesn't know when to shut up,_ Irina thought apologetically looking at me. "Enough questions, Tanya. Let Edward be."

Again, Tanya pouted as I shot Irina a grateful smile. _Oh, fine._

"Where can I hunt?" I asked Eleazar, wanting to be by myself.

Eleazar smiled. "You can hunt anywhere here, Edward. Feel free." _Carmen and I are going to be in the house all day if you need anything from us._

I nodded. "Thank you. I might be gone for a while, I'm going hunting and then exploring," I told the group.

Kate nodded absent-mindedly. _I hope you feel better, Edward. Don't worry, I'll keep Tanya away. At least, if I can help it._

I chuckled at Kate's thought and smiled my thank you.

"The mountain lions are in the wilderness behind the hill," Irina said helpfully. _As much as I love having you here, I really do hope you clear your mind._

"Thank you, Irina," I said, making my way to the front door of the mansion.

As I stepped outside into the cold weather, I felt relief wash over me. I ran to the woods behind the Denali mansion. I could smell the scent of some mountain lions from a distance. A few more minutes into the run, and I had found my prey.

I crouched down and prepared myself to attack, when my mind suddenly played an image of Bella doing the same thing. I wondered how Bella would feel about mountain lions. Would she prefer bears instead?

I shook my head, trying to clear my head of the image.

No. I wasn't going to change her. Not without being sure.

I focused on the mountain lion nearby, and launched myself into attack. As I felt the blood run down my thirsty throat, I couldn't help but picture Bella hunting again. And again, I shook my head.

No. No. No.

I shook my head some more. If vampires could go insane, I would have thought I was going crazy.

I desperately needed to clear my head.

After satiating the entirety of my thirst, I raced up the snowy mountain and perched right on top. The sun was setting in the distance. The view was spectacular, rolls of hills blanketed in white. Bella would have loved it here.

My heart constricted at the thought of Bella. I wondered what she was doing back home. Did she know I had run away? Did she miss me already, like I missed her terribly?

I hated leaving her. But I had to get away, I just had to.

It would be very difficult to make a decision with everyone else breathing down my back.

Thinking about my family, my thoughts drifted back to what Carlisle had pointed out. True, it was difficult to imagine someone as kind as Emse had no soul. Or someone as compassionate as Carlisle, who spent his existence trying to save lives.

I could believe that they had souls, that they have gained their souls as Carlisle believes.

But believing was different from knowing.

Knowing for sure.

Knowing for sure that my Bella will not be eternally damned.

Knowing for sure that my Bella will have a chance at a happy after-life.

I smiled at the thought of Bella and happiness. It only took so little to make her happy.

Staring into my eyes, she said she could see the happiness in me. And at that, she often smiled. Simply seeing me happy made her smile.

Listening to her mother jabber on the phone about mindless things, she would pretend to be annoyed. Roll her eyes. But after hanging up, she would smile to herself. Knowing that her mother was doing alright made her happy.

I know Bella loved me immensely. There was no doubt in my mind about that. For her to be willing to give up her soul, she must.

I stared at the horizon. It must be dawn. The night sky stretched as far as my eyes could see. Stars dotted the darkness, twinkling light.

I gazed at the stars, remembering how Bella had likened it to forever.

Nothing could be as perfect as forever with Bella.

I would take her to places. We would travel the world together, see sights, try different things. She would absolutely love the scenery in Scotland, with rolling hills and fairy-tale houses. I could see her face lighting up, seeing the sakuras bloom in Japan. Maldives had beautiful beaches; Bella would love walking along the shore under the moonlight. Skiing would also be fun; Emmett would definitely come. The breath-taking view of the city lights and the vast night sky from the Eiffel Tower will surely take Bella's breath away.

I smiled at the images I had created in my mind, chuckling at Bella's awestruck expression and her contagious glee. I lay down on the snow, conjuring up more wishful thinking.

I watched the sun rise and then set, and again gazed at the stars, imagining forever with Bella, thinking of her endless brown eyes, the way her lovely smile would light up her face.

Imagining forever with her made me feel blissful.

It was almost sad when Eleazar materialized out of nowhere. "Edward! There you are," he called out, walking up the mountain. "What have you been doing these past days?"

"I've been deep in thought. I'm afraid I lost track of time," I admitted sheepishly. "How long have I been up here?"

Eleazar laughed. "Three days."

"Wow," I responded, a little shocked. Time sure flied when I was thinking about Bella.

_That's some thinking you've been doing. Tell me what's bothering you,_ Eleazar thought. He sat down beside me on the snow.

"My girlfriend," I admitted.

"Ah," Eleazar said knowingly. "Only a woman boggles a man's mind so much. What seems to be the problem?"

"She has leukemia," I said, my voice sounding resigned.

Eleazar's eyes widened. _Leukemia? You're in love with a human?_

"Yes. I am in love with a human."

"After you rejected Tanya, I never took you for one who would fall in love," he mused, a smile on his lips. And then he looked at me curiously. "Doesn't that give you the perfect excuse, though?"

I looked at him, unsure of what he meant.

"Carlisle would never change anyone who still had a whole life ahead," Eleazar pointed out. "Now that you know your mate does not have a life ahead, changing her is practically the only choice."

"It's not the only choice," I whispered. I picked up a fistful of snow. It hardened in my hand. I threw it as hard as I could and watched it disappear into the woods below.

"What do you mean?" Eleazar asked in surprise as he took in my remorseful mood. _You're going to let her die?_

"It's a choice between her life and her soul," I said, looking at Eleazar straight in the eye. "A very difficult choice."

"Ah," he said in realization, nodding knowingly. He smiled slyly. "You don't believe we have souls."

"Do you?"

Eleazar was silent for a moment as he thought about it. "I stand by Carlisle on this. I, too, believe we gain souls depending on how we live throughout our existence."

I remained quiet. I did not know what to say to that. Because, somehow, deep inside I was hoping that what they were saying was true.

Hoping desperately.

"Because even though people might say there is no justice in this world, I believe there is justice in the afterlife," Eleazar continued, his eyes looking thoughtful. "And I believe that all the good we have done will not melt away into nothingness."

"But how do we know for sure?"

"Faith, Edward," Eleazar said. "It's called faith. Belief in the unseen, trusting in the unseen. You can't see it, but you know it's there."

Eleazar patted my shoulder and stood up. "I don't think you entirely believe we don't have souls, Edward. Because if you did, you would be a savage now. You would not care about anyone at all, not even your family. And you wouldn't have fallen in love. For I believe it is the soul that hopes, it is the soul that cares, it is the soul that loves."

As he started to walk away, he stopped. He turned to look at me. "I think, deep down, you know what to do, Edward. Because when it comes right down to it, what is important is her happiness."

As Eleazar walked away, I thought about what he said. I thought about what he said for a long time.

Because he was right.

Bella's life and soul were most important.

All the while, I kept thinking only those were important.

Now, I realized there was one other thing that was just as important: her happiness.

As I sat in the snow, staring at the beautiful horizon, I thought about what could make Bella happy.

I thought about all the times I had seen Bella smile the most, seen her eyes sparkle the most.

Her sleepy smile every morning when she woke up beside me. Her eyes lighting up when I picked her up every morning, or waited outside her class. The look of bliss each time we walked hand in hand. The sparkle of excitement in her eyes whenever I surprised her. The scarlet tint in her cheeks every time I teased her. The sigh of contentment each time I sang her to sleep. And the tender way she said my name in her sleep. The ultimate happiness in her eyes every single time I told her that I loved her.

My heart swelled as I realized that Bella was at her happiest when she was with me. The feeling spread over my body, and soon, I felt my heart constrict. It was almost like I was going to cry.

Deep down, I knew Bella loved me more than anything.

I gazed at the sun setting, creating an orange glow all around. I was suddenly reminded of the precious moment we shared at the secret garden. Our secret garden.

_I will love you even after the end of my days…_

Bella's words ran through my head. They kept repeating themselves over and over.

As I remembered her vow of love, I suddenly realized what would make my Bella happy.

At the thought of this, I stood up eagerly and began to run home.


	21. Sunset

**A/N: I just want to clarify that Edward did not decide between Bella's life or her soul yet. That would make it too easy! Haha. If you read the last part of the previous chapter again, you''ll see that Edward realized that her happiness was important too – but that doesn't mean he's decided to change her because there are other ways to make Bella happy. And you'll find out what in this chapter. Hope you all like it. :)**

**21 - Sunset**

~ Bella ~

"Stupid vampire," Alice muttered under her breath, slamming her tray of food on the table.

It had been a five days since Edward had run away. According to Alice, he was at Denali. He wasn't really staying with the Denali clan; he was always wandering around in the snow, thinking.

I looked up at her from my seat. Despite Edward's absence, I had been sitting with the Cullens each day during lunch hour at their insistence. "What's the matter?" I asked her worriedly.

"He keeps changing his mind," Alice complained, banging her tiny fist on the table. "After Eleazar talked to him two days ago, he was definitely leaning on the possibility of changing you." Alice's pretty face was contorted into a scowl.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "What's new?"

"What could have made him change his mind again?" Jasper wondered out loud.

Alice rolled her eyes, and scowled even more. "He ran into new vampires on the way home. Savage new vampires."

I sat up straight in my seat. "On the way home? Edward's coming home?" I asked Alice hopefully. I didn't care if he decided not to change me. I just wanted him to come home.

Alice frowned. "Yes, Bella. It might take him longer, though, since he's just running."

"When is he coming back?" I asked. I missed Edward terribly.

"He's going to arrive tomorrow. And you can bet I'm going to give him a piece of my mind," Alice said through gritted teeth.

"Edward worries too much," Emmett said, shaking his head. "I didn't mind the change at all. Well, I did wake up to a beautiful angel, but still."

Rosalie giggled and gazed into Emmett's eyes.

Alice rolled her eyes at me. "Those two never let up," she said as-a-matter-of-factly, shaking her head.

"Bella," Jasper said, ignoring Emmett and Rosalie who were staring dreamily at each other. "You understand why Edward is hesitant to change you, right?"

I sighed and nodded. "But it's my soul, Jasper. Don't you think I ought to get a say?" I asked, feeling frustrated.

Jasper nodded in agreement. "I can see Edward's point clearly, but I can definitely see yours too."

Alice moaned. She looked at me sympathetically before turning to Jasper.. "Bella has clearly made up her mind. She's willing to give up everything for him, there's no doubt about that. Why can't Edward just be happy and change her?" she said in frustration.

Jasper squeezed Alice's hand. "He has his reasons, Alice. He has his own convictions."

"Stupid convictions," Alice muttered, dropping her head to her hands. She raised her head. "And he's not even sure that we're soulless!"

"How is he supposed to know, anyway?" Emmett suddenly demanded. "Talk to dead vampires? Do a séance?" He snorted.

I sighed again and stared at my food. "I don't care anymore. I just want him to come home."

The day dragged on with me feeling forlorn. Even with Alice keeping me company, I still felt lonely. It was as if a part of me was gone whenever Edward was not around. I lay wide awake that night, listening to the pitter patter of the rain. The downcast weather matched my mood perfectly.

The trees illuminated by the light outside formed shadows on my wall. I jumped as the wind whipped a tree branch to my window. I hurriedly stood up, switched on the light and drew my curtain. What was the matter with me? I never used to get scared in the dark. I lay back down on my bed and threw the covers over my head, hiding and closing my eyes, forcing myself to sleep.

"_Bella!"_

_I looked up when I heard a voice call me. I would know that voice anywhere. It was the voice of an angel. My angel._

_I ran forward, whipping my head in every direction. I was surrounded by trees. Where was he? Why was it so dark? Why couldn't I see him?_

"_Bella!"_

_I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes. Where was he? Why couldn't I see? What was wrong with me?_

_I ran forward still, almost running out of breath. I squinted my eyes and looked onward. In the distance, I could make out a figure glittering in the darkness. It was him._

_As fast as my feet could, I ran. I gasped for breath. I felt like my lungs would explode._

"_Please, Bella!" His hands were outstretched, reaching for me. His eyes were pleading. Pleading so hard, I thought my heart would break if I didn't get to him._

_My breathing was coming in short gasps, each breath painful. I breathed until I couldn't anymore. "Edward," I whispered as I took my last breath. I couldn't speak. I stared into his golden eyes full of pain. "I'm sorry," I choked out._

_I tried to make it. But I just couldn't anymore._

_I love you, Edward._

_And then I suddenly fell into a dark endless black pit._

My eyes snapped open, and I found myself lying in bed, gasping for air. _Calm yourself, Bella. _Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

Once I was a little calmer, I checked my clock. 7:58 in the morning.

I rolled out of bed, took a pill from the medicine bottle on my night table and drank it quickly. Once I had showered, I rummaged my closet for my blue jeans. As I slipped it on, I stared at myself in the mirror. The jeans nearly slipped down my hips. I was losing a lot of weight. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. It made the reality of my death even more eminent. I hurriedly finished dressing and bounded down to the kitchen.

_Bella,_

_Went fishing with Harry._

_Be back by sundown._

_Dad_

So Charlie was out. That was fine. More than fine, actually, as I wanted to go out. The sun was shining and I was missing Edward too much. I wanted to go to the one place that made me feel extra close to him.

After filling my picnic basket with goodies, I carried it to my car. I backed out of the driveway and took the road to Edward's house. When I got to the turn-off, instead of taking the trail to the Cullens', I took the trail that led to the secret garden. I drove carefully, thankful that the sun was out, or else I would have been scared of the dark forest. Reaching the end of the road, I got out of the car, taking my picnic basket with me.

I walked through the forest, following the small trail. I carefully made my way through, not wanting to trip or run out of breath. I was about half an hour into the walk when I stopped and looked around. I couldn't see anything but trees around me. Was I going the right way? What if I got lost? I shivered, vividly remembering my dream. I pushed the thought away and quickened my pace. After about another hour of walking, I finally saw the clearing at a distance. I walked eagerly towards it, almost breaking into a run.

Stepping into the clearing for the second time, I was still awed. The beauty of it was something I could never get used to. It still took my breath away. I gazed around at the beautiful rolling hills, beautiful vibrant flowers and the green-manicured grass.

I loved how peaceful the garden made me feel. I took out a blanket from the picnic basket and spread it over the grass. Instead of sitting down, however, I took off my clothes and went for a dip in the lake. As I waded in the cool water, I remembered how much fun I had when Edward and I played in the lake together. I remembered soaking in the water with him and forgetting all my worries.

I stayed in the water until I had goosebumps all over. I relished the moment, filling my head with blissful memories. It was when I began to feel intolerable cold that I finally got out. Feeling hungry, I munched on the food that I brought, smiling as I remembered Edward's successful attempt at cooking. After stuffing myself full, I lay on the blanket and basked in the sun. Again, I was reminded of Edward, how his beautiful skin sparkled in the sun.

I ran through the memories of Edward in my mind. Seeing him for the first time, hitting his Volvo, avoiding him and tripping all over the place in the process, getting out of my car to find him waiting for me, walking me to my classes, hanging out with him and the Cullens during lunch hour, Edward singing me to sleep, his golden brown eyes and how they always shone with happiness at the sight of me, his crooked smile and how it always made my heart skip a beat. I could go on forever.

I sighed deeply, missing him even more. I smiled to myself as I realized most of my happy memories were with Edward. Truly, the last months were the happiest of my life.

And though nothing else could be better than spending forever with Edward, all the love and happiness I have felt is enough to last me through lifetimes.

As I realized this, I decided to leave the decision entirely to him. It didn't matter anymore if Edward decided to change me or not.

All I wanted now was to be with him every single day.

Every single day that I had left.

Just that – and I would be the happiest person alive.

Just that – and I could die happy, not wishing for anything else.

I closed my eyes and let myself get lost in thought.

_Edward, until the end of my days._

_Edward, until my eyes closed for the last time._

_Edward, until the last beat of my heart._

_Edward, until my last breath._

I opened my eyes to find the secret garden blanketed in an orange glow. The sun was setting beneath the mountains. I walked over to the edge of the field and sat down. I rolled up my jeans and dangled my feet into the water. As I took in the breath-taking view, I couldn't help but be so grateful that Edward had shared his special place with me.

At the thought of Edward, I suddenly heard his voice. "Bella."

Sure that I was just imagining things, I continued to look at the gorgeous horizon. The beauty of it all was enough to last me through this lifetime.

"Bella, love." This time, the voice was louder, as if closer to me.

I looked up to see my sparkling angel gazing down at me with tender eyes, the setting sun shining beautifully on his skin.

"Edward!" I cried in disbelief, jumping up and flinging my arms around him. "You're here! I can't believe you're here!"

Edward chuckled as he stroked my hair. "I've missed you so greatly, my love."

"I've missed you terribly." I felt a tear slide down my cheek.

Edward's eyes were immediately filled with guilt. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm sorry I had to leave without saying goodbye to you. It was terribly wrong, and I promise I will never leave you again." He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and stroked my cheek gently.

I nodded in understanding. "It's fine, Edward, I know why you had to go. I've just missed you so much, that's all." Another tear slid down my cheek as I recalled how lonely the entire week had been without him by my side.

"Sshhh," Edward shushed me gently. He kissed my forehead and hugged me tight. "I'm here now."

"I know," I whispered. I pulled away from him and looked at his face carefully. He looked happy, probably of having seen me, but a part of him still looked troubled. "Have you come to a decision yet?"

Edward sighed and looked frustrated. "About that, I'm as confused as ever. I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm so so sorry. But with such a beautiful soul, I would never let you lose your chance at paradise."

"Paradise, Edward," I said, looking into his hazel eyes. My voice shook with emotion, and I felt tears welling up in my eyes. "Paradise is here on earth. With you."

Edward gazed into my eyes for what seemed like the longest time. And then he pulled me into a hug, tight but gentle, as if he was afraid of letting me go. I wanted to stay there forever. "Oh, Bella."

"But it doesn't matter anymore, Edward," I said, pulling away. He gazed at me looking puzzled. "I don't care what you decide. I feel so incredibly happy to have known and loved you. To have an angel like you love me in return. I will be perpetually grateful for the time we have had together, no matter how little it may seem compared to forever. Although forever would be nice, I just couldn't ask for anything more than what you have already given me. You have already made me happy. So very happy."

The tears that were threatening to fall finally did. Tears were streaming down my face. My heart was so full of love, I thought it might burst.

Again Edward stared at my face, as if memorizing every line and every contour. "Bella, there is something I want you to know. You are someone with such an incredible soul, and there is nothing I want more than for you to be happy each passing day. Nothing more than for me to make you smile, make you happy every single day."

"You have captivated me in ways that I could not even begin to comprehend. I gaze into your eyes, and all I see is forever," Edward continued, his eyes so full of passion. "I know in my heart that I am going to love you until the end of my days. Nothingness, eternal damnation, or paradise – wherever I may be, I am certain I will still love you with all of me. And, Bella, my love for you – I want to promise, I want to vow."

And suddenly, he let go of me.

Very slowly, very agonizingly, he pulled something out from his pocket, his eyes never leaving mine.

My heart started to pound. Faster and faster, as I realized what he was doing.

He got down on one knee, opened a small box, and revealed a diamond ring. A diamond ring that, like his beautiful skin, glittered in the setting sun.

"Allow me to love you longer than forever," Edward said, his voice shaking with emotion. He looked up at me, his golden eyes boring into my own. "Bella, will you marry me?"

I couldn't speak. I opened my mouth but no sound came out.

I nodded wordlessly and threw my arms around him, overcome with happiness and disbelief. My Greek god wanted to marry me.

My Greek god wanted love me forever, even longer.

Edward slipped the ring around my finger. He cupped my face in his hands ever so gently, and very gently kissed my lips.

He had his arm around me as we gazed at the sun, almost hiding behind the hills. "Twilight. It is the end of one day, symbolizes the beginning of another. And I, Bella, promise to make you happy all the days of your life."

**A/N: Sorry the update took longer, guys. I've been so busy with work lately. I know the real Bella didn't really like the idea of marriage all that much, but Jamie in A Walk To Remember did. So that explains Bella's reaction and response here. Thanks for the reviews, faves and alerts for the previous chapter! I hope you liked this one. :)**


	22. White Walls

**22 – White Walls**

~ Edward ~

Making my Bella happy was an easy task, to say the least.

Even at the smallest of things, she smiled, she tittered. And I loved it every single time.

To make her smile everyday, make her happy everyday – it was all I wanted to do.

Bella's last class for the day was about to end. Minutes before the final bell rang, I quietly slipped out of my class. Mrs. Goff never minded whenever I did that – she knew I was better at Spanish than she was. Before heading over to the gym, however, I took a quick detour.

Passing through the forest behind the school building, I ran as fast as I could to the nearest rose garden I could find in Forks. I carefully plucked the prettiest white rose I could find, and dashed back to school.

The final bell had just rung when I walked through the main entrance, and students were pouring out of the classrooms.

_Wow, lucky Bella. I wonder how it would feel like to have Edward's arms around me._

_Dang, I've never seen Edward Cullen so smitten. In fact, I've never seen him close to smitten before. I wonder how Bella managed that._

_There goes the freak again. What does Bella see in this guy?_

I turned towards the direction of the voice and saw Mike Newton, one of Bella's many admirers, staring at me angrily. I chuckled. I was wondering the same thing myself. Even until now, I never quite figured out what Bella saw in a monster like me.

Just as I arrived outside the gym, Bella walked out. Her tired eyes lit up when she saw me. Her eyes traveled down to my hand, and a lovely smile spread across her face when she saw the white rose I was holding. "It's beautiful! For me?"

I feigned a look of shock. "Of course not. This is for Emmett."

I laughed and kissed her forehead as she pouted her lips. "Of course, it's for my one and only you."

Bella smiled up at me. "That's more like it," she said prettily. She brought the rose to her nose and inhaled the scent. And then she stared at me with a thoughtful smile on her face. "Thank you, Edward. Each day with you becomes a Valentine."

I smiled and stroked her cheek gently. "Anything, Bella, just to see you smile."

As we walked hand in hand through the hallway, Bella and I got even more attention than usual.

_What a perfect boyfriend._

_Of course, Cullen manages to snag the first girl I'm interested in._

_Bella seems happy. But, of course, why wouldn't she be happy? She has a rose in one hand and her perfect boyfriend's hand in the other._

_Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod! That definitely looks like an engagement ring!_ Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jessica staring at Bella's finger enviously_. Mom was right, they are getting married._

"Lauren," she hissed, and then gestured at Bella.

Lauren, who was putting on make up, rolled her eyes. "What's the matter with you? Haven't you ever been given flowers?"

"No," Jessica hissed. "Finger."

Lauren's eyes bulged out of her eyes as she stared at Bella's diamond ring. "Engaged?" she mouthed dramatically at Jessica.

Bella, who was oblivious to what was happening, stared straight ahead. She smelled her rose from time to time, often breaking into a small smile.

I pulled her away from the two girls before they could accost her. As we headed towards the Volvo, I could see Alice standing there, waiting impatiently for us. "Alice," I said when we got to the Volvo. "Why didn't you ride with the others?"

From impatient, Alice immediately turned apologetic. "I need to talk to you guys, before you get shocked. Especially Bella."

"Talk to us about what?" Bella asked warily. She looked at Alice cautiously.

Alice played with the hem of her blouse. "Well, you know how I've been preparing for the wedding, right?"

I nodded. Ever since we told the family about the wedding two weeks ago, Alice has been busy as hell preparing for it. And to make Bella's dream wedding come true, Alice had to look into the future for the perfect day.

"Well, I was at Port Angeles, talking to the florist and choosing flowers," Alice started carefully, looking at Bella.

"And?" Bella prompted.

"Jessica's mother was there," Alice admitted. "And she kind of heard me. And she kind of told her daughter. Who kind of told Lauren. Who will kind of tell the whole school." She grinned at us sheepishly. _Bella is so going to kill me. Good thing I'm way faster than her._

"Alice," Bella whined. She shook her head. "Now the whole school will know."

"What's the big deal, Bella?" Alice asked, rolling her eyes. "You survived telling Charlie, you'll survive anything. Besides, you are marrying the most eligible bachelor." Alice winked.

Bella looked at me, a hint of amusement playing in her eyes. "Well, since you put it that way."

Alice and I laughed. "Now, come on. Let's go home so I can show you the flowers I chose," Alice said excitedly. _Bella's going to love them!_ "Even Rose totally loves them! And Esme!"

Bella laughed at the expression on Alice's face. And I could tell by the look on her face that even if she wouldn't like the flowers so much, she would pretend to. For Alice's sake.

As I drove my two favorite girls home, I listened to their excited chatter with a smile on my face. Bella and Alice would make wonderful sisters. In my mind, I replayed Alice's vision of her and Bella looking like one of us, with their arms around each other.

And as I repeated my conversation with Bella in our secret garden, I realized that the decision was entirely up to me. Bella had entrusted her life and soul to me.

But, no, I could never be selfish. As tempting as the thought of being with Bella forever might be, I could never forgive myself if I damned her soul. And yet I couldn't live with myself if I let her die.

This is the hardest decision I will ever have to make. Choosing between life and soul, between forever and paradise.

I glanced at Bella who had fallen silent while I had been thinking to myself. She was staring at the road ahead, looking quite pale. "Bella?" I asked. "Are you feeling alright?"

Bella looked at me with wide scared eyes. "No," she whispered.

"Edward, pull over," Alice ordered.

My car screeched to a halt at the side of the road. Alice rushed out of the car and quickly opened Bella's door. Bella stumbled her way out of the car. Alice quickly carried her to the nearest tree, where Bella leaned for support.

She looked ghostly pale, her breathing shallow. Alice held her hand and stroked her back as she closed her eyes, leaned over and threw up.

And then Bella collapsed in Alice's arms.

I couldn't move. I could have sworn I stopped breathing. Not that I needed to.

I remained frozen as Alice practically flew towards the car and into the backseat with Bella lying motionless in her arms. I stared at Bella, her eyes closed, looking pale and fragile in Alice's arms. My mind flashed back to the time when Bella had fainted, remembering how worried I had been. What I felt then, was nothing compared to what I felt now, knowing what was really wrong with Bella.

Knowing what could possibly happen to Bella.

For the first time in eighty years, I felt cold all over.

"Edward, drive!" Alice screamed from the back seat. Her eyes were wide. I have never seen her look so scared. _Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod._

I stepped on the gas pedal. The tires squealed as the car suddenly lurched forward.

_Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod. Don't die, Bella. You're way ahead of time. You still have more than a month. I mean, come on, don't get excited._

_Faster, Edward! Drive faster!_

_Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod._

Even as we arrived in the hospital, Alice's thoughts were in a whirl. She was about to run at top speed with Bella in her arms when I stopped her.

"Let me carry her, Alice," I said, stopping the car right in front of the hospital. "It's more believable."

I hurriedly got out of the car and walked around to open Alice's door. I took a deep breath, held it and carefully gathered Bella in my arms. As I walked through the halls of the hospital, I kept reminding myself not to break into a run. I entered the emergency room and quickly scanned the room for Carlisle.

_Oh! The doctor's son is here!_

_Seriously, what does Dr. Cullen feed his children? They're all unbelievably gorgeous._

I turned to the direction of the voice. It was a middle-aged plump nurse. "Have you seen Dr. Cullen?" I asked as politely as I could. I couldn't keep some of the edge from creeping into my voice, however.

The woman's eyes grew wide. _He's talking to me._ "He's on the way here. You can lay the girl on that bed," she instructed, pointing towards the nearest bed.

I lay Bella down on the bed carefully.

_Please don't die , Bella._

I turned and saw Alice enter the emergency room, with Carlisle right behind her. He looked as worried as Alice. "Edward," he said, patting my shoulder. _You kids better wait outside the emergency room. There is fresh blood here. Don't worry, I'll take care of Bella._

I nodded. "Please do," I whispered. I pulled a reluctant Alice out of the emergency room. I could see that she, too, was not breathing. In the waiting room, Alice and I stood by the window facing the forest.

_You do realize it's going to happen soon, right, Edward?_ Alice asked me in her thoughts.

I sighed and nodded. "Yes, I do."

_Unless you change her._

I remained silent. I did not know what to say, honestly. Seeing Bella looking deathly scared me.

It scared the hell out of me.

We had been silently waiting, staring at the blank white walls of the hospital when Carlisle came into the waiting room.

"Edward," Carlisle said, his eyes looking worried. "Bella says she wants to go home. But she needs medical attention, with her condition worsening. Can you talk to her? Alice can wait here."

For once, Alice didn't contradict. She obediently sat on her chair. _Go, Edward._

I nodded and immediately headed into the emergency room. I was aware of a girl who had a large open wound on the bed next to Bella. I never found the scent of her blood tempting, though. I was fixed on Bella.

"Bella?"

Slowly, she opened her chocolate brown eyes. She looked even paler than she had been. Wires were attached to her body, monitoring her vital signs. She took off the oxygen mask she had over her nose and mouth. "Edward," she said, looking at me pleadingly. "I want to go home."

"Bella, you need the medical attention," I gently told her, stroking her hair. "People can take good care of you here."

"Bella? Where's Bella?" a panicked voice suddenly asked. It was Chief Swan.

"Right here, Chief Swan," Carlisle called out.

Chief Swan quickly walked over. "Bella!"

"I'm fine now, Dad," Bella said, putting on a brave smile. "Don't worry."

Chief Swan frowned. "Are you sure?"

Bella nodded.

Unconvinced, he turned to Carlisle. "What happened?"

Carlisle motioned for Chief Swan to come closer. They talked in low voices at the foot of Bella's bed, but I could still hear them clearly.

"Bella's condition is worsening fast. Abnormal cells have accumulated in her brain and spinal cord, which is why she vomited. As her immune system is very vulnerable to attacks, she has caught pneumonia," Carlisle explained to Chief Swan, his eyes full of sorrow. "Soon her organs will start to fail."

"How long?"

Carlisle looked at him and sighed. He put a hand on Charlie's shoulder. "Roughly a month. But we don't know for sure. It could be sooner, it could be later." _I'm so sorry this had to happen to Bella._

There were no words to describe Chief Swan's face. He looked so pained and stricken, as if he were the one lying on a hospital bed. His breathing became ragged, and although he was trying very hard to hide it, anyone could see he was on the verge of breaking down.

"Daddy," Bella called. She smiled at Chief Swan. "Don't be sad. It's fine, really."

Apparently, she had heard the whole exchange despite their low voices. Although she put on a brave smile for her father, I could see that her eyes were rimmed with sadness.

Chief Swan walked to her bedside. "If there's anything I can do, Princess, anything at all—tell me." He took her hand and held it close to his heart. _My little princess is dying. I can't believe my little princess is dying._

"I'm fine, Dad," Bella assured him. "I just want to go home. You know how much I hate hospitals."

Chief Swan smiled sadly. "I wish we could go home too. But you need to be nursed, Bella."

As I stared at Bella looking so sad, I wished there was some way to make her smile amidst all this. A nurse came over, checked her monitor and then adjusted her pillows. "Are you feeling comfortable?" she asked Bella with an encouraging smile.

Bella managed a small smile back. "Yes, thank you."

An idea clicked.

"Bella, you're going home today," I suddenly said.

Bella's eyes looked at me hopefully. "I am?"

I nodded. "We can have the hospital equipment brought to your house, along with a private nurse. Right, Carlisle?"

Carlisle nodded and smiled. "That's right, why haven't I thought of that?"

Chief Swan looked at me, and then Carlisle, and then me again. "As much as I would love to make Bella happy by bringing her home, isn't that a little expensive?" he asked Carlisle uncertainly. _I can never afford that. Now I wish I had a better-paying job._

Carlisle shook his head and patted Charlie's shoulder. "Don't worry about it, Chief Swan. Bella will be a part of the family in a matter of weeks. You will be a part of the family. It will be our way of welcoming you."

Chief Swan shook his head. "I don't know how I will be able to thank you enough." He, in turn, patted Carlisle's shoulder.

"Don't even mention it," Carlisle said. "Excuse me, I will take care of everything." And then he proceeded to arrange the transfer.

I walked over to Bella's bedside.

She lifted her limp hand and touched my cheek. "Thank you, Edward. For everything."

"When I said I would make you happy all the days of your life, Bella, I meant it," I told her, getting lost once again in her endless eyes. "In any way that I can, I will make you happy. Because I find no greater joy in the world—only when I see you smile."

With that, I took her hand in mine and kissed it.

**A/N: Hey, everyone. Thought you'd like to know – I'm ending the story in about 4 chapters. So for those who are anxious about Edward's decision, don't worry because you'll find out soon enough. Remember that that's ultimately the last conflict left in the story, so I want to at least make it a little bit exciting. Please be patient. And sorry it took longer than usual for me to update, I got quite busy. :)**


	23. Ceremony

**A/N: Sooo sorry this took so long! I've been busy as hell with work; I didn't have time to write anymore. :( Thanks for the reviews, faves and alerts! I hope you like this chapter. I had to divert my attention from all the stress at work, and this is the product. Lol. Enjoy!**

**23 – Ceremony**

~ Bella ~

It was about seven in the morning when Julia knocked on my door. "Bella, Miss Alice is here to see you," she called through the door. Julia was my personal nurse, and I loved her. One look at Charlie's self-prepared dinner the first day she was here, and she's been cooking dinner ever since.

"Come on in, guys," I responded, sitting up on my bed. I slowly slung my legs over and tried to stand up. My knees buckled and I fell back on the bed just as Alice bounded into the room.

"Bella, what are you doing?" she demanded, gasping when she saw me.

I grinned sheepishly. "Trying to stand up."

"Your wheelchair is here so you wouldn't have to stand up," Alice scolded. "Don't tire yourself out before the wedding, Bella. Edward will kill me."

"Sorry," I said sheepishly.

I gazed at the wheelchair next to my bed and felt tears welling up in my eyes. It was my wedding day. I wanted to walk down the aisle. Walk. Not wheeled.

A tear trickled down my cheek, and I quickly wiped it away. But not quick enough.

Alice walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me, causing more tears to spill over. She gently laid my head on her shoulder and stroked my hair.

"I want to walk down the aisle, Alice," I whispered, looking at her, pleading through my tears.

Alice looked like she was about to cry herself. I knew if vampires could cry, she would have been too. Her eyes were filled with pity. "I know, Bella, I know." Her eyes were wide with sadness as she stared at me break into a fit of sobs.

Caught up in my misery, I hadn't even noticed when Alice asked Julia for a glass of water. But when I saw Julia enter the room, she carried a glass. She handed it to Alice.

"Drink this," she ordered, bringing the glass to my lips. When I had downed more than half a glass of water, she handed it back to Julia who quietly slipped out of the room. "Feeling a little calmer?"

I drew in a deep breath and nodded. "Thanks."

Alice smiled and gave me a quick hug. "Now, let's get going, shall we?"

I looked at her in surprise. "Get going? Where? The wedding isn't until sundown, right?" Ironic how I didn't even know exactly what time I was getting married. Everybody was sworn to secrecy – Edward forbade anyone to tell me where we were getting married. He wanted to surprise me. I only knew I was getting married today to Edward.

The butterflies in my stomach started to flutter about. The thought of marrying my Greek god still sent shivers down my spine. I still couldn't believe it.

Couldn't believe he wanted to vow to love me forever.

"Yes," Alice confirmed. "Which is why we have to leave now so we can get there by sundown."

That was certainly strange. With Julia out of sight, Alice carried me in her arms and swiftly rushed to the Mercedes Benz parked outside my house. She carefully sat me in the passenger seat and she rounded the car to slip behind the wheel.

"Where are we going, Alice?" I demanded when I saw Julia coming out of the house with a luggage and my folded wheelchair.

I felt suspicion brewing as I remembered that Charlie had left last night to "go on a little trip for my Princess" was how he had put it. When he promised he would be at the wedding on time, I didn't ask any more questions. I remembered the amused twinkle in his eyes. Was he already at the location?

Alice looked at me sympathetically. "I'm sorry, Bella, but you know Edward would tear my arm off if I told you. But you're going to love it, don't worry." She smiled. "I've seen it."

I sighed and trusted Alice's vision. At least I knew I would love it. On the other hand, anywhere with Edward would be fine.

The car peeled away from the curb as Alice stepped on the gas. At how fast she was going, you would think we were being chased by little green aliens. Or green-eyed monsters.

Within minutes, we arrived at what looked like a private hangar.

Alice carefully sat me on my wheelchair and wheeled me towards a private airplane. When we got near, the uniformed man who stood next to the staircase smiled at Alice. I could see his eyes looked astonished at her beauty.

"Miss Alice Cullen?"

"That's me," Alice replied, flashing a bright smile.

The man stared at her, obviously dazzled. He shook his head a little, as if to clear it, and smiled again. "Hello, I am Captain Matthews. Please board the plane and we will be well on our way. The crew will assist you."

After having said that, two crew members got out to help us. One of them took the bags and folded my wheelchair as the other one carried me up into the plane.

"Careful," Alice said sweetly but sternly as the man lowered me to a plush seat. She walked over and sat on the seat next to mine. Julia sat behind us, looking around the luxurious private jet.

"I want you to sleep for a couple of hours, okay? When you wake up, we'll start on you makeup," Alice said, reaching over to fasten my seatbelt.

The crew checked on us, making sure we were all settled in for take off. After some minutes, I heard the captain announce that we were taking off.

My usual weariness kicked in a few minutes into the flight, and I felt myself dozing off into a dreamless sleep. When I woke up, the window flaps were all closed and the cabin was brightly lit.

"The sun is shining," Alice explained in a whisper, taking in the confused expression on my face.

I nodded in realization. It sure wouldn't do us any good if the cabin crew saw Alice sparkling when the sunlight would hit her. "That time is it?"

"It's a little past two o'clock," Alice answered. "We'll be there before sundown, no worries."

I mentally calculated the number of hours. Where would approximately 9 hours of nonstop flight take me? Pretty far away, I'm sure.

"Oohhh, you're going to love it there," Alice said, excitedly bouncing in her seat. "I love the December breeze there."

I rolled my eyes. "If you're not telling me where we're going, you're not allowed to talk about it."

Alice laughed, glancing at her expensive diamond-studded watch. "Alright, it's about time. Let's get gorgeous."

With that, she took the big bag she had stashed in the overhead compartment and emptied its contents onto the seat next to her.

"Wow," I mused as I gazed at everything on the chair: flat iron, curling iron, makeup of different sorts, tubes of who-knows-what, lotions, a number of combs and brushes, bottles of hairspray, and much much more. "Are we going to a battle?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "It's your wedding day, Bella. Nobody can be more beautiful than you. And I'm going to make sure of that." She winked.

I giggled. "Well, Alice, with you and Rosalie around, I don't know how you're going to manage that."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a black garment bag draped over another empty seat. "Hey, is that my dress?" I had no idea how Alice managed to have a dress made for me without me even seeing it and trying it on.

"Yes," Alice answered without looking up from the variety of makeup. Her face was scrunched up, kind of like how I looked like when I was concentrating on a math problem.

"Can I see it?" I asked eagerly. Maybe seeing my dress would give me a clue on where I was actually getting married.

"You'll see it when you'll change into in," Alice responded, still concentrating on the makeup.

I sighed. "Oh, fine. What's a few more hours compared to the weeks of torture?"

"Exactly," Alice said with a laugh. "Now, sit still while I do your makeup."

With countless liquids, brushstrokes and colors, Alice worked on my face. She was smiling all the while, coloring my eyelids, brushing my cheeks with blush. My hair fell in shiny waves around my shoulders. I felt more and more uncomfortable each time she painted my face with new makeup but I knew she was having a lot of fun, so I couldn't bring myself to complain about all the makeup.

After about forever and a day, she was finally done. She clapped her hands as she stared at me. "Bella, Edward is going to be blown away!" she exclaimed in glee.

"Can I see myself in the mirror?" I asked hopefully.

Alice shook her head firmly. "Not until we're completely done." She checked her watch. "Only an hour and a half until we land. Alright, you can get dressed. Julia? Can you help me?"

Julia nodded and stood up to get the garment bag. Alice started to undress me.

"Wait!" I protested. "Change? Right here?"

Alice smiled. "Don't worry, Bella, everyone is in the cockpit. They were instructed to stay there unless we call for them."

Julia helped me stand up and I rested most of my weight on her. I grudgingly let Alice undress me, which she did without any problem as she often came over to my house to help me ever since I got nursed home. She unzipped the garment bag and took out a white wedding gown. She slipped the dress over my head, being careful not to ruin my hair and makeup. She expertly adjusted the straps in a matter of minutes. And then she stepped back and broke into a bright smile.

"Oh, Bella!" Alice exclaimed. "You look absolutely perfect!"

Julia smiled and nodded in agreement. "You are so very beautiful, Bella."

"Can I see?"

"Wait," Alice said. She rummaged the garment bag and took out a crown of white flowers. She carefully placed it on my head, making sure my hair wasn't messed up. And then she took out a large mirror and held it in front of me.

Wow.

I didn't even recognize the girl in the mirror. My hair fell in gorgeous waves and curls around my shoulders, dark in contrast to the crown of white on my head. The white flowers and the makeup accentuated my dark eyes, bringing out little sparkles that I never noticed before. Even my skin was glittering, probably because of some lotion that Alice made me put on.

My halter dress tied was fastened behind my neck, leaving my back bare. The sexy but modest neckline went all the way down to the wide waistband that held the rest of the flowing white gown. A white flower, similar to the ones on my crown but bigger, was attached to the right side, just off the center, of the waistband.

The dress was beautifully made and it fit me perfectly. It was the kind of dress that I usually just saw on television. I never even dreamed I would be wearing a gown like this.

I loved it.

Alice eagerly lowered the mirror and looked at my face. She broke into a smile. "I knew you would love it."

Julia helped me sit down, arranging my gown so that it wouldn't crumple. Alice cleaned up all the mess and took her seat beside me just as the pilot announced that we would be landing in a few moments.

I stared out the window as the plane had begun its descent. Slowly, the secret place below became visible. As we grew nearer and nearer, I could have sworn it was the famous 120-foot tall statue of Christ the Redeemer.

"Rio de Janeiro," I said, staring at Alice in surprise. "Alice, what are we doing in Brazil? Am I getting married in Brazil?" I looked back out the window and stared at the city beneath that was drawing nearer and nearer.

Alice smiled, looking amused. I could tell she was enjoying this. "In Rio de Janeiro? No."

"Where?" I asked in frustration.

Alice laughed. "Relax, Bella. You'll know soon enough."

I stared out the window quietly as the plane descended, landing smoothly on what looked like another private hangar. "Alice, how did we get this plane?"

Alice grinned and winked. "Carlisle knows some people."

The plane taxied to a stop, and one of the crewmen carefully carried me out of the plane and sat me inside a waiting black limousine. Alice and Julia followed and, as per Alice's order, the driver drove as fast as he could. It was almost six o'clock in the evening when the driver stopped the limousine at a small port.

Alice helped me sit on my wheelchair and wheeled me through one private yacht after another. She was moving so fast, I had to remind her not to use her abilities.

"Relax, Alice, you're only human" I told her, slightly emphasizing on the last word. "Edward isn't getting married without me. At least, I hope not."

Alice chuckled and she slowed her pace. "You're right." After a few more meters, she stopped in front of one of the bigger yachts, carefully wheeled me through the plank and into the waiting arms of Jasper.

"Jasper!" I gasped as he took me into his arms. "What are you doing here? Am I having a boat wedding?" I looked around the yacht to see if the Cullens were there, as well as my family. But there was no one else.

Jasper chuckled and shook his head as we passed through the narrow stairway going down. "Sorry, Bella. Strict orders." He carefully sat me on the bed inside the cabin as Alice bounded in.

"So you can't see where we're going," Alice teased, explaining why we weren't up on the deck. She laughed at the outraged expression on my face. "Kidding, Bella. It's so your hair and your gown won't get ruined."

Alice retouched my makeup and hair while we were down there. After about half an hour, Jasper entered the cabin. "We're here," he announced. I could tell he was also pretty excited by the smile he wore on his face.

They helped me get out of the cabin, get down from the yacht and settled me on my wheelchair.

On the sand.

I looked around.

Sand. Sea.

Right in the center of the beachfront, there were huge bamboo sticks. Over and around the bamboo sticks, yards and yards of exquisite cloth was draped, forming a gorgeous open tent. Thousands of tiny orange lights were stuck to the cloth, seeming like little fireflies. From a distance, I could see that everybody was already there, sitting on the bamboo seats arranged.

I was having a beach wedding.

My dream wedding. How did they know?

I gazed around – it was surreal. Every bit was as beautiful as the secret garden. The sand was powdery white and the water was clear blue as far as my eyes could see. Where the shore ended, a forest began. And there was a stone path to the big beautiful mansion on top of the small hill. Every where you turned, you get amazed at whatever you see. Gorgeous rock formations, surreal beach, lush forest. "Alice, what is this place?"

Alice smiled. "Bella, welcome to Isle Esme."

Before I could ask anymore questions, she wheeled me towards the tent where everyone was waiting excitedly. When we reached the opening of the tent, my father stepped from the shadows.

"Daddy!" I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes as I realized he was going to walk – or wheel me down the aisle. He looked dashing in his tux, but he always hated dressing up and attention. How he agreed to do this, I wasn't even sure why, but I appreciated his efforts so much.

Music began to swell, and everyone turned to look at us. The crowd was pretty small, with mostly people that the Cullens knew since I only knew very few people in the crowd. I could see my Mom wearing a beach dress up front, sitting between Phil and Esme. Even from afar I could see that her eyes were red and puffy. Trust Mom to start crying even before the ceremony had begun. Carlisle and Esme both looked like movie stars, and they were smiling at me encouragingly. My eyes roamed to the other side where I saw Rose looking all too much like a goddess, sitting next to a grinning Emmett. Alice was seated next to Jasper on the aisle seat, looking like a little tropical princess. She nodded her head and smiled at me encouragingly.

And then my eyes were drawn to him.

My Greek god.

Donned in a white tuxedo and with his hair slicked back, he looked like royalty. The rest of the world faded as he caught my eyes and smiled my favorite smile. Even across the room, I could see his eyes clearly.

Full of compassion, full of joy. Full of happiness, full of love.

There was no doubt about it. I was looking at forever.

I was staring at him when Charlie started to push my wheelchair. And the realization hit me – Edward wanted everything to be perfect for me. How he found out that it was my dream to get married by the beach, I had no idea. But his efforts to make my dream wedding come true were crystal. He wanted to make me happy, and I wanted to do the same.

I reached and touched Charlie's hand. "Dad, stop," I whispered. I pulled his hand lightly towards me and he circled the wheelchair and stood in front of me.

"What's the matter?" Charlie asked, worriedly looking at me. And then he glanced uncertainly at Edward, and then back at me again.

I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I took both my father's hands and slowly stood up. My joints burned like hell, and my knees buckled. I knew I was too weak to stand up, but I didn't care. I wanted to walk down the aisle to the waiting arms of my Greek god.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to ease the pain. When I opened them, I saw Edward from across the room, his face full of so much emotion. I could tell it made him so happy, and that was all it took for me to take the first step towards him.

I walked very slowly down the aisle, thankful that Alice hadn't made it so much of a long way. I hung onto Charlie's arm for support, my eyes still on Edward with every step that I took. When we finally got to the front, Charlie's eyes welled up with tears as he gave my hand to Edward. I could see my Mom crying her eyes out and Phil consoling her. Carlisle and Esme positively shone with happiness, and Alice was sobbing tearlessly.

Edward kissed the top of my forehead and scooped me up in his arms.

"You are the perfect bride," Edward whispered into my ear as he stopped in front of the minister.

I stayed in his arms all throughout the ceremony. Still in Edward's arms, we walked towards the shoreline after the ceremony. The rest of the guests had gone to the mansion.

Even though the sky was overcast in the island, we could see the sun setting from a distance. As I stared at the setting sun, I was reminded of how special it was for us. It was when we had confessed to each other in the secret garden. It was when he asked me to marry him. And it was when we had vowed in front of the minister, in front of our families, and in front of God -- to love each other forever.

"Do you like this place?" Edward suddenly asked, looking at me tenderly.

"Edward, it's perfect. I can't tell you how much I love it. To get married by the beach is my dream," I admitted truthfully, a smile playing on my lips. "How did you know that?"

Edward's eyes twinkled with amusement. "Well, hearing you talk in your sleep does have its perks."

My face flushed, I could tell it was scarlet at that moment. Maroon, if it was possible.

Edward laughed and kissed the tip of my nose. "I'm glad you are happy, Bella, because that's ultimately what I live for every single day. You are what I live for every single day. And I will love you with all of me -- even on the day after forever ends."

Tears welled up in my eyes. "Edward, I don't know what I did to deserve someone as perfect as you. I could never ask for more. I am happy, beyond happy. Beyond happy, when I see you smile. Beyond happy, that you are in my life. Beyond happy, that you are my life."

Edward's eyes filled with happiness. He smiled crookedly. "How you can love so much a monster like me, I don't know. But, Bella, know that I am grateful and I will be grateful. Eternally grateful." He leaned down and gently kissed my lips, his heavenly scent almost intoxicating me into pure bliss.

We were both silent as we watched the sun continue to set, overwhelmed with so much emotion. When the sun finally hid behind the mountains and nighttime fell, I started to shiver.

"Let's go to the mansion," Edward said, starting to walk towards the stone path. "I don't want you to catch a cold." He ran through the path at top speed, and we arrived at the mansion in less than a couple of minutes.

He settled me into the chair next to Alice. His cellphone suddenly rang. "Alice, why don't you introduce Bella to our guests? I have to take this call."

Alice launched into her monologue, telling me all I needed to know about the guests. It was too much information for me really. "That is the Denali clan, our closest family friends. That vampire with strawberry blond hair is Tanya. The one standing nest to her is Kate and the other one is Irina. They're sisters and they're purists of the law. They're temptresses. And Tanya used to be in love with Edward. But Edward never paid her attention. In fact, Edward never paid any woman any attention until you came along."

I gulped as I took in Tanya's lovely face. No, lovely wasn't the right word. Exquisitely beautiful was more appropriate. I wonder why Edward didn't like her? And they were temptresses? Double gulp.

Alice pointed to another group of vampires. "That's the Amazonian coven: Zafrina, Senna and Kachiri. Zafrina can create illusions and make you see them. The other vampire with them is a European nomad, Alistair. He is a good friend of Carlisle's and—"

"Bella. Alice."

Alice stopped talking, and we both looked at Edward. The urgency in his face was unmistakable. My heart started to beat faster. Was there something wrong?

"I'm going to London."


	24. Soul

**A/N: So sorry it took so long again! I've been swamped with work. Few more chapters left. Enjoy! :)**

**24 – Soul**

~ Edward ~

"London? Alone? Why?" Bella asked, her eyes questioning. She fidgeted with the flower on her white gown. Bella looked astonishing tonight, her beauty standing out by a mile in the crowd of exquisite beauties. She looked like a goddess with eternal eyes.

_Yes, Edward, care to explain why you're dashing off to London, and leaving your dying wife?_ Alice demanded in her thoughts. She reached up and fixed Bella's hair absent-mindedly.

"I'm so sorry to leave you on our wedding night, Bella. But Eleazar called me. Eleazar is part of the Denali clan," I explained to Bella. She stole a quick glance at Tanya and looked back at me with a little apprehension in her eyes. I glared at Alice, wondering what she could have told Bella about Tanya.

_What? It was nothing! I just told her Tanya used to be in love with you,_ Alice defended herself.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, Alice. You mention even the most insignificant things."

Alice pouted. _I don't think Bella finds it insignificant at all. _"What's the news about Eleazar?" she asked impatiently.

"Eleazar says there's a vampire in London," I started to explain. "He knows about souls, and he has first-hand experience."

Bella drew in her breath, and Alice stared at me in shock.

"Vampires… have souls?" Bella asked in a whisper, hope beginning to glimmer in her eyes.

_That's shocking, amazing news! What are you waiting for? Let's change Bella tonight!_ Alice thought excitedly.

I looked at Alice warningly.

"That's the thing," I answered Bella's question. "We don't know for sure. Eleazar just heard about him recently when he took a quick trip to London. But he hasn't talked to the nomad. So he doesn't know for sure too."

The hope in Bella's eyes never diminished as she continued to stare at me. She looked at me silently for a couple of minutes. And then she nodded and looked down at her hands. "When are you leaving?" she asked.

"At the soonest possible time," I responded. I looked around for Carlisle. "Alice, have you seen Carlisle? Could I possibly take the private plane?"

Alice shook her head. "I don't see him anywhere but I see him saying yes."

I nodded and then knelt down right next to where Bella was sitting down. "Bella, love, I'll be back before you know it. Remember that I'm doing this for you, alright? All for you, so you don't have to suffer any longer if all goes well." I took her hand and brought it to my lips, kissing it lightly.

Bella nodded wordlessly, tears welling up in her eyes.

_Really, is this a good idea, Edward? It's the last stretch of Bella's illness. We don't know what could go wrong now,_ Alice thought. _Is it a good idea to be so far away?_

Carlisle had told us that with Bella's worsening condition, anything can happen anytime. Bella had come to the stretch of her sickness where there wasn't even a timeframe anymore, disaster could strike anytime.

I knew this was a big risk, waiting so long to decide. If I only knew for sure that we had souls, I would change her without a second thought. To spend each day of forever with my Bella – I had no other desire.

But I could never say I truly loved her if I changed her, damning her beautiful soul.

If I wanted to be selfish, surely I would not think twice about risking Bella's soul.

So I would not have to feel the pain of losing her.

If I wanted to be selfish, surely I would not think twice about risking Bella's only shot at a blissful afterlife.

So I would not have to feel the pain of losing her.

But I could never be selfish. Not to someone whose soul is as selfless as Bella's.

"It's the only way to find out for sure, Alice," I responded, closing my eyes. I despised the thought of having to be away from Bella, especially with her worsening condition. But I had to do this. "I can't risk Bella's soul on the account of stories passed on from vampire to vampire. It could be just a rumor, for all we know. I can't risk Bella's soul over that."

A hand touched mine. "Edward."

I looked down to see Bella staring up at me. She had a little smile on her face. I could tell she was forcing it so I wouldn't have to feel guilty about leaving. So I wouldn't have to be in pain. "It's fine. I'll be alright. Alice and Julia will take good care of me. Do what you have to do."

I smiled at her and touched her cheek. Could anyone be more selfless than my bride?

"Bella, once I find Carlisle and get his approval, I'm flying out tonight," I told her, stroking her cheek. Looking at her sad eyes pained me. But the hope that Eleazar gave me was so great, it was almost as if my heart would burst.

This was my chance at forever with Bella. Forever without damning her soul.

I couldn't let this chance pass.

I turned to look at Alice. "Alice, will you take care of Bella and the guests?"

Alice nodded without hesitation. "You don't even have to ask, Edward. Bella's my bestfriend." She glanced at Bella who smiled. "Besides, I'm becoming an expert at undressing and dressing Bella. You could learn a few tips." She smiled slyly.

Bella's cheeks flushed scarlet. She opened her mouth and then closed it. And she turned and glared at Alice, her face still flaming red.

I laughed loudly, amused at the expression on my new wife's face. I kissed Bella's lips lightly and stood up. "Be good, love. Eat well and drink all your medication, alright?" I said gently but sternly. "Will you see to that, Alice?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Yes, Dad." _Don't worry._

I chuckled. I leaned down and kissed both of their foreheads. "Be good, you two. Take care, my love. I'll call you as soon as I get there."

Bella nodded. "You take care, too. I—I'll be missing you, Edward."

My heart warmed. "Just as I will be missing you immensely."

I stroked her cheek for the last time and started to look around for any sign or scent of Carlisle. It wasn't hard to track him. He was chatting with Alistair in the small library. No house of ours was ever without a library. Carlisle, as well as I, loved to read.

"Carlisle? Can I talk to you for a moment?" I asked, knocking on the door and peeking my head. "It's urgent."

"Of course," Carlisle said, looking at me with concerned eyes. _Is Bella alright?_ He turned to Alistair and stood up. "Do make yourself comfortable, old friend. I will be right back."

Carlisle and I stepped out of the library and went into one of the rooms. _What's wrong, son?_

"I'm going to London. Eleazar said there was news that an old vampire knew about souls. He says the vampire has first-hand experience. I have to go and find out," I said in a hushed tone, my eyes silently pleading.

Carlisle nodded. _Of course. You can take the private plane. I'm sure my friend wouldn't mind. Are you leaving tonight?_

I nodded.

_Then, off you go. Take care, son. I really do hope you find what you're looking for._

"Thank you, Carlisle. I really appreciate everything you've done."

With that, I rushed out of the house. Emmett was tinkering with the yacht when I got there. "Em, I need to get to Rio de Janeiro. Can you come with me on the boat so you can take it back here?"

Emmett stared at my face, probably seeing the desperation and urgency. "Of course." He looked at me up and down. "You can borrow the clothes I have stashed in the cabin too."

After about half an hour, I jumped out of the boat and onto the port's plank. After thanking Emmett, I looked around to make sure nobody was looking. And then I ran all the way to the private hangar. It was a good thing vampires didn't sweat, I would have been drenched.

Carlisle must have already alerted his friend because when I got to the hangar, a crew member assisted me to the plane. When I had seated myself and buckled my seatbelt, he performed the last minute check through the cabin and entered the cockpit. Some moments after, the pilot announced our take off.

As the plane taxied and flew into the skies, I stared out the window and watched the glittering city lights getting smaller as we rose higher.

I felt a mix of emotions rush through me. Hope was amongst them, slowly ballooning as I mentally calculated the miles left before London. Yet like a real balloon, a pin could very easily burst it. A pin, a disappointment.

A disappointment, if things didn't turn out the way I wanted them to. A disappointment, if things didn't turn out to be what I expected them to.

A disappointment, if things didn't permit me to change Bella.

If things didn't permit me to be with my Bella each day of forever.

More than a disappointment, I know my world would simply crumble. Because my world didn't just revolve around Bella. She was my whole world.

I closed my eyes and pinched my nose, tense and anxious.

After close to twelve hours, the plane finally landed in London. I peeked out the window and saw that it was raining outside. Luckily, an ordinary London day was usually accompanied with a drizzle. Still, I was thankful I had Jasper's jacket on, as well as Emmett's gloves and baseball cap.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and stood up as the pilot came out of the cockpit. "Thank you, Captain, I most certainly appreciate you flying me out to London," I said, extending my hand.

He gave my hand a firm shake. "It's always a pleasure to work for the Cullens. Do enjoy your stay. If you ever need our services again, Dr. Cullen can call Mr. Charleston anytime."

I nodded. "I am most grateful."

"We have landed at the White Waltham Airfield. But no worries, we have arranged a vehicle to take you to anywhere you will be more comfortable. If you would be so kind to follow me," Captain Smith said, leading the way out of the plane. He led me to the airfield's parking lot, to a black Rolls Royce. "Here we are. Enjoy your trip, Mr. Cullen."

"I will make the most out of my stay," I replied with a smile. I patted his shoulder. "Again, many thanks, Captain Smith."

With that, I slipped into the waiting car and shut the door, anxious to be on my way. I had no time to waste.

"Off to the City?" the driver asked with a polite smile, looking at me through the rearview mirror. _Is this bloke a movie star?_

"Yes, please," I said, smiling back. "To the City of Westminster. I'd like to get there in the shortest possible time, please."

The driver nodded as he started the engine. As he drove away from the airfield, he glanced at me through the mirror again. "Do you know where you will be staying, kind sir?" he asked, his British accent thick.

"The Ritz Hotel," I responded immediately. Alice, Jasper and I had stayed there the last time we were here. Alice especially loved it, it was a glorious place.

_This bloke is certainly well-off._ "Certainly," he said, his eyes now on the road.

I stared out the window blankly all throughout the ride, lost in thought. London was a big place, my mind was filled with endless possibilities at where the old vampire might be.

Completely losing track of time, I had no idea what time it was when I arrived at The Ritz. The sun was out, however, so I kept my head down as I quickly ducked out of the car and into the hotel lobby.

I darted a glance at the clock in the lobby as I approached the reception area, and saw that it was already almost three o'clock in the afternoon.

_Oh, goodness! What a good-looking bloke!_ One of the receptionists discreetly elbowed her fellow receptionist, and immediately the two of them aimed their beaming smiles at me as I approached.

"Hello," I said with a bright smile. "I certainly hope the hotel is not fully booked at the moment. Can I have a room, please?"

The receptionist whose name plate read Tina flushed red as she stared at me. _What a dazzling smile. Where is this young bloke from? Is he an actor? How old is he?_

"Tina?" the other receptionist prompted. _Tina, now is not the time to get dazzled by some young bloke. We are having a busy day_, she scolded mentally although she kept her smile.

"Oh!" Tina exclaimed, seeming to snap out of her reverie. His smile certainly caught me off guard. "Certainly, sir. Let me check the available rooms we have." Her mind was blank as she checked the rooms on her computer. "The only rooms we have available are suites and beyond. Would that be alright?"

I nodded absent-mindedly.

"May I have your name, please?" she asked, looking at me with an expectant smile. _Maybe he's from Hollywood. He looks American._

"Edward Cullen," I replied easily, taking my gold credit card out of my wallet and handing it to her.

_No credit limit. Definitely wealthy._ "Edward Cullen," she said slowly as she typed in my name. "Sir, it appears that you have a reservation for the Piccadilly Suite made from the United States. Do you happen to know a Dr. Carlisle Cullen?"

"That makes it easier, then," I said in surprise. Alice must have seen me coming to The Ritz and told Carlisle. "Yes, he's my father."

_Gorgeous son of a wealthy doctor. Not bad at all._ "The room is now ready for your occupancy, Mr. Cullen. If there is anything you need, do not hesitate to ask me personally. Have a lovely stay," Tina said with a big smile, handing me the key.

I rode the elevator up to my floor, and easily found my corner suite. I walked over to the window and gazed out at the view of the Piccadilly. London was one of my favorite cities in the entire world. I wished Bella could have been here with me.

I took my cellular phone out of my pocket and flipped it open to dial Alice's number.

"Do you like the suite Carlisle booked for you?" Alice asked, answering after one ring. "I saw you coming to The Ritz, so I thought you'd like to have a beautiful suite booked."

I chuckled. "Yes, Alice, thank you. That's very thoughtful of you. Thank Carlisle for me too. Tell me, how is everything? How is Bella?"

"Bella's is doing fine. We're all at Forks now, Bella is playing chess with Emmett. Em is thrilled to have someone who can't cheat play with him," Alice said with a tinkling laugh. In the background, I could hear Emmett grumbling and groaning. "Bella beat Emmett again. This is the third time in a row!"

I laughed, imagining the look on Emmett's face each time Bella beat him. "Sounds like you're having a good time. Don't tire Bella out too much, though."

"Sure, Dad," Alice said sarcastically. I could almost see her rolling her eyes. "But, seriously, don't worry too much. Carlisle is always making sure Bella is getting enough rest."

"That's good," I said. I felt a surge of happiness rush through me as I realized that my family cared for Bella as much as I did. "Can I talk to Bella?"

"Sure thing," Alice quipped.

A second later, I heard Bella's voice on the phone. "Edward? How are you doing?"

I felt all the anxiety leave as I heard her voice. "I should be asking you that. How are you doing, my love?"

"I'm well. Emmett isn't, though. I beat him out three times in a row," she said with a giggle. Although she was laughing, I couldn't help but hear a little tiredness in her voice.

I laughed. "I hope you're not having too much fun that you're not missing me anymore," I teased with a smile. "Because I miss you terribly."

"And I'm missing you just as much," Bella assured me shyly. "Even though I'm beating the pants off Emmett."

"I want a rematch!" I heard Emmett yell in the background.

"You've had two rematches already, Emmett," Rosalie said. I could almost feel her rolling her eyes.

"So what's going on at London? Any news yet?" Bella asked, her voice suddenly turning serious.

"None yet. I just arrived at the hotel. The sun is out, so that's a problem. That means I can only start tracking tonight," I said, a little frustrated at the thought of not being able to start right away.

"I hope you find him," Bella whispered sadly. "Because I—I don't want to leave you yet."

For a moment, I couldn't speak. The entire reality came crashing back down. Bella had said it herself – she was going to die soon. I had to find this vampire.

"I know, darling, I know," I said, my throat tight. "I'll do my best, I promise you that. I'll do my very best, so we would get to spend forever together, Bella."

I couldn't disappoint Bella, I just couldn't.

My cold heart was breaking at the thought of Bella leaving so soon. Dying so soon.

"Your best is all I'm asking for," Bella responded. I could hear tears in her voice. She took a deep breath. "Take care of yourself always, Edward. Know that I love you always and forever."

I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. Why did it feel like she was saying that for the last time?

"And please take care of yourself for me, my love," I managed to say. "I love you for all eternity."

Bella sniffed softly, as if trying hard not to let me hear her crying.

My heart shattered to pieces.

It took all I had not to rush back to Forks and just change her the moment I got there, without finding out for sure. But that would just be plain wrong.

I could never forgive myself if I damned her. Never.

"I'll call you again soon, Bella," I promised. I, too, couldn't keep the sadness out of my voice.

"Don't be sad, Edward," Bella pleaded. "I'm fine, really. I'll be waiting for your call. Goodbye, Edward."

"Goodbye, my love."

As minutes passed, I did nothing but stare at my cellular phone. Bella's voice was still ringing in my ears. Somehow, I kept hearing the sadness in her voice. And I couldn't push it away.

Suddenly, my cellular phone rang. I felt a chill shoot through me.

Who was it? Was Bella alright?

I quickly picked up my phone and glanced at the caller ID. It was Eleazar.

I let out a sigh of relief.

"Eleazar," I said into the phone immediately, flipping my phone open.

"Hello, Edward," Eleazar greeted. "I called your house and spoke to Carlisle. I understand that you are now in London."

"Yes, I just got here," I responded. "It's a little difficult, though, because the sun is out. I have yet to start tracking tonight."

"That's too bad," Eleazar said sympathetically. "I called to let you know that Carmen found out his name through another friend who lived in London for quite some time. His name is Abbott, and he is seven hundred years old. It might not be too hard to track him since most of the vampires in all of London know him."

My balloon of hope instantly inflated.

"Thank you, Eleazar," I said gratefully. "That is very useful information. I'm sure it will make my search easier. Thank you for all your help, my friend."

"No problem at all," Eleazar sad wth a smile in his voice. "And I'm sorry I missed your wedding. The girls had a very good time. Although Tanya was pretty sad."

I laughed. "Don't worry about it."

After saying our goodbyes, I hung up.

Through the window, I stared at the afternoon sun, willing for it to hide, willing for the night to fall.

As I thought about the night, my thoughts drifted to Bella. Although she always did her best to hide it, I knew she was afraid.

Afraid of the night. Afraid of the dark. After to close her eyes.

Because that's always when her nightmares began.

My heart would break every time I would hear Bella scream.

I stared at the sun setting over London, anxious to start my search. As soon as darkness fell, I immediately slipped on my jacket and rushed out of my suite.

I stepped out of the hotel and stopped, looking to the right and then to the left. I had no idea where to start. Instinctively, I took the right. It was frustrating to walk, when I knew I could very well use my speed. But the number of people going about was too much. I could never go unnoticed.

As I walked, I breathed carefully, hoping to catch a whiff of my kind. I had been walking for miles when I saw a familiar structure. It was the All Saints Church, and immediately I knew that I was already in Fulham. Hearing faint noises, I walked to the greenery behind the church. As I walked further and further into the forest, the noises kept getting louder to my ears, as the scent of another vampire became apparent.

Up in the distance, I saw a black male with long locks crouched down, ready to attack his prey. I stopped in my tracks and remained silent, not wanting to disturb the man during his meal. I watched as a deer gracefully leaped in front of him, caught by surprise at the predator he was oblivious of. The vampire easily drank the blood, not staining himself with blood at all.

So this vampire was a vegetarian too. Interesting.

As soon as I saw that he was finished, I started to walk towards him. Hearing my approach, the vampire turned to face me.

"Greetings," I said, holding out my hand when I was near enough. "My name is Edward Cullen and I am from America."

_Cullens, that big family of vegetarians._ The vampire nodded and shook my hand. "I have heard of the Cullens' big family. I am a nomad, and a vegetarian as well. My name is Laurent."

"Pleasure to meet you, Laurent," I said politely. "Have you been in London for a long time?"

Laurent shook his head. "Not too long, new friend. I have only been here for about a couple of years. I don't usually stay in one place."

I nodded. "I see. I am actually looking for one of our kind, it is imperative that I find him. You could say that it is a matter of life and death."

Or life and soul, specifically.

Laurent frowned apologetically. "I'll try to answer your questions but I'm afraid I would not be of much help. I know little about our kind here."

"That's alright," I assured him. "Would you happen to have crossed paths with an old vampire by the name of Abbott? I understand he is quite well-known among our kind here in London."

Laurent's eyes lit up. "Yes!" he exclaimed. "I met Abbott also while I was hunting somewhere in Greenwich. Over seven hundred years old. He, too, is a vegetarian." _Everybody knows Abbott._

My heart would have raced. "Yes, that is who I am looking for," I confirmed. "Does he live in Greenwich?"

Laurent frowned again. "I'm afraid I don't know where he lives. But he used to go hunting there a lot. I met him over a year ago."

"Nevertheless, that's useful information you gave me, new friend," I told Laurent gratefully. "I will be heading there now, maybe another one of our kind would be as helpful as you have been."

Laurent outstretched his hand. "The best of luck to you, mate."

I firmly shook his hand, turned and ran.

Since Greenwich was about four or five boroughs away from Fulham, it took me a while to get there. Yet I couldn't believe my eyes when I checked my watch. It was a quarter past three in the morning when I reached Greenwich. Walking, not running, to Fulham seemed to have taken a lot of time.

As I ran through the forests and walked through the streets, I watched out carefully for another one of my kind. Greenwich was definitely bigger than Fulham, making the tracking a little difficult. I had just finished roaming the Greenwich Park, as well as the forests in the secluded parts of Greenwich. I tracked down not a single vampire, and I was feeling disconsolate as I walked through the streets.

I was nearing the Greenwich Riverfront when the breeze took with it a familiar scent. One of us. Immediately, I looked up and saw a man with his arms crossed. He was standing still, looking at the view of the city that the riverfront provided us.

I walked faster towards him. Apparently hearing me, he turned to look towards my direction. _Who do we have here?_

"Who are you?" he asked, his blood red eyes looking at me curiously.

"My name is Edward Cullen," I introduced myself. "I am from America, I am staying at The Ritz for a few days. Are you from around here?"

His eyes bore into mine, and realization dawned unto him. _His eyes are golden. Another vegetarian._ "You are a vegetarian," he said with an amused expression on his face. "My name is James. I am a nomad, I just arrived here two weeks ago."

I nodded in acknowledgment. That was too bad. Someone who arrived a couple of weeks ago could not have run into Abbott already.

"What is it with you vegetarians?" James mused. He stared out to the view of the city again. He looked at me. "I am thirsty. I was about to hunt a woodsman tonight when somebody stopped me."

I looked at him in surprise. I never had anybody stop me from drinking blood when I was hunting. That must have been utterly exasperating. "Who?"

"An old vampire," James said. His expression became thoughtful. "Seven hundred years old, but looks like he was changed at around 40." _Weird vampire, that man._

"Abbott."

Now it was James' turn to look at me in surprise. "Yes, Abbott. Do you know him?"

I shook my head. "No, but I am looking for him. Would you happen to know where he lives?"

"No," James said, shaking his head. "I did not have time to ask. All he did was stop me from killing the woodsman, and then he left me with a thought: how we live in this world does matter."

"How we live in this world matters," I whispered to myself. What did he mean by that?

I could not repress the hope that began to swell. Could it be?

Could it be that how we lived mattered because we had souls?

"Yes, that's what he said. And then he left." James shot me a curious look. "Why are you looking for him?"

"Because of that same thought he left you with," I responded truthfully. "Thank you for your help, James. I appreciate it immensely."

It was nearing five in the morning, and the sun would be coming out soon. I ran back to the hotel, walking only when there were chances of people seeing me. I got to the hotel safely, with the sun just starting to come out of the horizon.

Up in my room, I drew my curtains and sat very still on the bed until night fell again. I came out of the hotel with renewed vigor as I repeated in my head over and over what Abbott had told James.

_How we live in this world does matter._

Surely, it had something to do with souls.

I decided to go back to the Greenwich area to see if there were any more of my kind who had met Abbott. It seemed that Abbott frequented that area. Whenever I could find forests, I ran through them to save time. Walking in the streets got on my nerves, it was slowing me down immensely. Still, I got to the neighboring boroughs of Greenwich faster than I expected. I swept through Newham, Lewisham, Bexley, Bromley – not a single one of my kind.

I got back to the hotel about the same time as I did the day before. But my hopes were a far cry from the day before.

I couldn't waste time, it was running out fast for Bella.

I was sitting still on the bed, waiting for the third night to fall, when my cellular phone rang. It was Alice.

Immediately, my thoughts flew to Bella. Was Bella alright?

"Alice?" I said urgently into the phone, snapping it open.

"Edward," Alice said testily. Immediately, I knew something was wrong. "How are things going?"

"Not too well," I responded. "On my first night, I was able to talk to two vampires who both ran into Abbott but no one knew where he lived. Yesterday was hell, I found nobody at all." I closed my eyes, anticipating her reply.

"That's too bad," Alice said sadly.

"Bella. How's Bella?"

"Well," Alice said with a pause. "She says she feels fine, but I think she isn't. She's tired all the time, and she caught pneumonia."

"How did that happen?" I demanded, eyes opening in alarm.

"Carlisle said it was inevitable," Alice explained. "Bella's immune system is down, Edward. She can catch anything."

I shut my eyes and pinched my nose, trying to calm myself. "Alright, please take care of her, Alice. It's very frustrating not being able to track during the day because the sun is always out. I will do my best to find him tonight."

"I know you will," Alice said. "Do hurry, Edward. Bella doesn't have much time." The urgency in her voice was unmistakable. I knew there was more trouble than she was telling me.

"I know, Alice. I know. Tell her I miss her terribly. Goodbye."

Snapping my phone shut, I ran to the curtains and peeked out. The night was beginning to fall, thank heavens. I hurried out of my room, down to the lobby and out of the hotel. Since I had absolutely no luck yesterday in that part of London, I decided to comb the opposite part.

By midnight, I had already passed through Wandsworth and Hammersmith. By three in the morning, Brent and Ealing. There wasn't a single vampire I could ask. Not a single one.

I was already feeling desperate.

What if Bella got so sick?

What if I never found him?

No, no. That was not an option. I had to find him, I just had to.

Bella was the entire reason for my existence now. I could not even begin to imagine a single day in a world without her.

I was walking through a forest in Harrow, deep in thought, when the strong scent of blood suddenly hit me. Human blood.

My throat burned.

I stopped breathing to ease the burn in my throat.

Where was the scent coming from? Did somebody have an accident nearby?

Or was there a vampire hunting?

Renewed verve shot through me at the possibility. I forced myself to breathe in the scent and ignore the burn in my throat. Fast and easy, I followed the strong smell. I ran until it got stronger and stronger.

I stopped running when the scent was so intense. Up ahead, I could see a figure crouched down over a dead human body.

The familiar figure whipped his head in my direction, probably hearing me.

"James," I said in surprise. "Fancy running into you again."

James turned his attention back to his prey, and drank what was left of its blood. When he was finished, he stood up and walked towards me. "Edward Cullen. Why do I keep running into you vegetarians?"

I stopped short. "Wait, what do you mean 'vegetarians'?"

James rolled his eyes and laughed. "You would never believe it. I was out hunting, since I did not get to hunt when we last ran into each other. As I was about to attack, guess who comes out of the blue to stop me again?"

My eyes widened. "Abbott," I whispered.

James nodded. "You got that right. And he stopped me. Again. I wasn't having it. So I ran all the way here. He can't stop me when he's on the other side of London."

Other. Side. Of. London.

Every word seemed like a punch in the gut.

I had been wasting my time, hunting on the wrong side of London.

My head positively throbbed as I calculated the time lost.

Precious time that Bella was running out of.

"I have to get going, James," I said hurriedly, running with top speed. I checked my watch and saw that it was already too late to get to the other side. Surely, the sun would be out by the time I got there.

Slowing my pace, I ran to the hotel instead, again feeling frustrated that London had so much more sun compared to Forks.

I sat in my room for hours, staring at the sun as it slowly moved in the skies. It was around noon, with the sun directly overhead, when my cellular phone rang.

"Hello," I barked into the phone in frustration, not bothering to check the caller ID.

"Edward." It was Carlisle.

"Carlisle, what's the matter?" I demanded. Fear started to creep through my entire being as I heard the definite worry in his voice.

"It's Bella," Carlisle said hurriedly. "She collapsed. Her organs are starting to fail."

My entire world stopped turning.

For a minute, I couldn't speak.

"What do you mean?" I managed to whisper, so afraid to hear his response.

Carlisle took a deep breath. "Edward, you have to come home now. Bella's dying."


	25. Rush

**A/N: Again, so sorry it took so long. Been terribly busy. Thanks for all the reviews, faves and alerts! Enjoy the second-to-the-last chapter of my fan fiction. :)**

**25 – Rush**

~ Edward ~

I could not understand how I was feeling at the moment.

My entire body went numb, void of all feeling. And then a piercing sensation started from my heart and spread throughout my whole body like wildfire as the realization hit me.

My Bella was dying. She was dying.

"Carlisle, do whatever you can do to keep her heart beating," I pleaded into the phone. My heart felt like it was about to shatter to a million pieces.

"I'll do what I can, Edward," Carlisle assured me. He paused for a moment. "But there isn't much time left."

"How long does she have?" I asked, panic creeping into my voice.

"Two or three days," Carlisle responded with uncertainty. "Or she could go any moment. It is very hard to tell. If you want to see her alive, you're going to have to hurry."

I was already inside the elevator. "I'll be on the next plane home."

I snapped my phone shut and hurried towards the reception area as soon as the elevator doors opened. Thankfully, the same receptionist greeted me with a smile. _He looks a bit harried. Gorgeous, nonetheless._

"Hello, Tina," I said as politely as I could. "I have an emergency. Could you possibly book me the next flight to Washington?"

_He knows my name! Swoon._ Tina kept her smile in check as she stared at me blankly.

"Tina?" I prompted, waving a hand in front of her face.

"Oh!" Tina exclaimed, her face flushing red. "I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen. Let me see what I can do to help you." _Snap, that sure was embarrassing. Okay, let's see here. US of A. Washington. Bingo!_

I looked at her expectantly. "Is there anything?"

Tina flashed me a brilliant smile, clearly proud of herself. "Most definitely. There is a direct flight to Washington that leaves in two hours." _Two hours? He's never going to make it in time._ Her face fell. "Which means you have to be at the airport right about now. I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen, I'm afraid you won't make this flight. The next flight is in six hours."

"I can't wait that long," I said urgently. "Book me a seat on the first flight, let me worry about getting there."

"Are you sure?" Tina asked skeptically, picking up the phone. _They're still going to leave without you, even if you look like a movie star._

"I'm sure," I said curtly.

Tina shrugged and dialed the phone. I tuned her out, taking in the outside. How could I possibly get out of the hotel without sparkling? Even though I had on a jacket and gloves, as well as a cap and sunglasses, what was left exposed of my face would still catch attention if I stepped into the sun.

"Mr. Cullen, you're in luck," Tina interrupted my thoughts. "They can accommodate you in the Business Class at a higher price since it's such short notice."

"That would be alright," I said, taking out my gold credit card. "They can charge it on my credit card. The hotel bill, as well."

As Tina dictated my card number to whoever was at the other end of the line, I tuned her out again. Trying to find another possible exit, my eyes roamed the lobby.

And then I stopped.

Right in the middle was a middle-aged man wearing crisp pants and a perfectly tailored jacket. Pale. Polished. Golden eyes.

It was unmistakable.

Vampire.

I took in a deep breath and, sure enough, his scent hit me.

Who could this be? The man stood smiling at me as he took notice of my stare.

I turned back to the receptionist who was busy taking care of my hotel bill. "Please take care of everything, Tina," I said, giving her a dazzling smile. "I'll be right back."

I heard Tina's heartbeat race as she nodded and proceeded with what she had been doing.

I walked briskly to meet the vampire.

"You must be Edward Cullen," he said, his voice smooth, as I neared him. He extended his right hand, and I shook it firmly. _Didn't expect someone looking so young._ "I am Abbott."

My eyes widened in surprise. "I roamed London for days in search of you."

Abbott smiled. "I know."

"How did you know where to find me?" I asked, still overwhelmed. It was ironic how I found him when I was not even looking for him anymore.

"I ran into our little friend again," Abbott said with an amused expression on his face. _That James is quite amusing._ "James explained how you have been looking for me. He mentioned that you were staying at The Ritz."

Realization dawned to me as I remembered introducing myself to James, telling him where I was staying. "That's right," I agreed. And then I frowned. This was certainly not a good time to talk, with me having to catch a plane. "But I'm kind of in an emergency right now, Abbott. I was actually on my way to the airport to fly back to America. Would you mind riding with me?"

Abbott smiled. "Not at all, Edward. In fact, let me drive you. And not to worry, I parked my car in the shade." He winked.

I smiled gratefully as I hurried back to Tina, who was already waiting for me. "Here is everything, Mr. Cullen," Tina said with a bright smile. "Would you like me to run through everything for you?"

I shook my head. "That will not be needed. Thank you for everything, Tina. This is most appreciated."

With that, I hurried over to where Abbott was waiting for me and followed him out of the hotel and into his car. "My flight is in less than two hours. Can I make it on time?" I asked him.

Abbott laughed. "An excuse to drive like mad is all I need, Edward." He started his car and stepped on the gas pedal. The car tires shrieked against the pavement as the car lurched forward. "So, what have you been meaning to talk to me about?"

"I heard from some friends that you knew about vampires and souls," I said without hesitation. "That you have first-hand experience."

"Ah," Abbott mused. _This is a surprise._ "I must admit, this is the first time someone has sought me about that. It is usually I who tell our kind to live their existence carefully."

"Well, you see, my wife is dying," I explained, my voice breaking. The pain of it all as sharp as ever. "I want to change her, but I could never forgive myself I damned her for all eternity in the process. That is the reason why I want to know if vampires do have souls."

Abbott's face grew thoughtful as he swerved through the streets. _Edward Cullen is surprising me in more ways than one._ "That is great _great_ love you have there, Edward, abandoning your chance to be with her forever in exchange for her salvation."

"She has a beautiful soul, Abbott," I said, my heart almost bursting with pride. "It would be utterly unforgivable to let it go to waste."

"I agree," Abbott nodded. He looked at me for a moment. "But let me tell you that it will not go to waste, even if you change her."

I stared at him. "How do you know for sure?"

Abbott's eyes again grew thoughtful, his eyes on the road as he dodged an SUV. _I will never forget that day._ "Let me tell you my story. My mother was a very religious woman. She was walking home from church one fateful night when a vampire attacked her. Only God knows why the vampire did not drain all of her blood. Needless to say, she was changed. It was amazing how we lived together in one house, but she never did anything to harm me. Her faith kept her from hurting anybody. One day, I got very sick and at that time, doctors had no clue as to what I had. Apparently, I was dying. My mother became afraid of losing me, so without hesitation, she changed me. After some years, my mother began to regret changing me. She, too, thought she had ruined my chance at salvation. Still, even though she thought she did not have a soul, she lived her life beautifully and she taught me to do the same thing. Until the very last day of her existence, she made sure I understood that the reason for my existence was to do good. She was attacked by another vampire who was angry at how she lived her life. She had gone missing for days, I had no idea where she was. Days after she had died, she appeared to me. If she hadn't, I would never have known she had died. And she told me the very same thing I keep telling savages now: how we live in this world does matter."

I was speechless. Truly speechless.

His story was the ultimate confirmation that I was searching for.

"So your mother's soul appeared to you," I whispered, staring at him in astonishment.

"I don't know how else she could have appeared to me if she didn't have a soul," Abbott responded with a thoughtful look in his face.

"You mean we never lost our souls?" I asked, somewhat confused.

Abbott shook his head. "Of that, I am not entirely sure. Whether we lost our souls and gained them by our lifestyle, or we never really lost it – I don't know. What is important, though, is the end. That we are sure it is possible for us to have souls; that we are sure that we, too, can have a chance at paradise afterlife."

I closed my eyes, relief flooding through my entire body.

My Bella would not be damned. My Bella would still have her beautiful soul.

Now, forever with Bella wasn't just a dream. It was a certainty.

My Bella wouldn't have to die.

The car suddenly screeched to a stop. I looked out and saw that we were already at the airport. I checked my watch, realizing that I still had an hour before my flight. "Thank you so much, Abbott," I said, holding out my hand. "For coming to find me, driving me, and telling me the most important thing."

Abbott's eyes glowed. He ignored my hand and gave me a hug. "It is always a pleasure to share what I know. The best of luck to you, Edward."

"If you ever come to America, do drop by my place," I invited, getting out of the car. "I know my family would absolutely love you. Especially my father, Carlisle."

Abbott nodded. "I definitely will."

I waved goodbye and watched as Abbott drove away. As soon as his car was out of sight, I hurried into the airport and found my check in counter. I made it into the departure lounge with minutes to spare before boarding.

I flipped my cellular phone open and dialed Alice's number.

"Edward," Alice said, answering after one ring.

"How's Bella?" I asked, almost afraid of the answer.

Alice sighed. "Bad, Edward, really bad. There are about a million tubes hooked to her body. Carlisle is monitoring every possible thing."

My stomach twisted into knots. What if I didn't make it on time?

"She is not unconscious, though," Alice added, for my benefit, no doubt. "Would you like to talk to her?"

"Yes, please," I whispered. I sat down on one of the seats. Resting my elbow on one knee, I closed my eyes and dropped my head onto my free hand.

A moment later, I heard my little angel's voice. "Edward?"

"Bella?" I said weakly. "How are you doing, sweetheart?"

"Not too well," she admitted, her voice sounding pained and very weak. "The medicine Carlisle gives me makes my groggy, but it really helps lessen the pain. Everything hurts, Edward." Bella sniffed.

My heart almost broke. I had never heard Bella sound so weak, and it scared me to the very core. "I'm so sorry you have to be in pain, my love," I managed to choke out. "I'm sure Carlisle is doing everything he can. If I could take all the pain away, I would. There is nothing I would not give to trade places with you, my love, so you wouldn't have to feel any pain."

"No," Bella protested weakly. "I don't want you to ever feel the pain I'm feeling right now. Never."

That just proved all the more how selfless my Bella was. Even at her most painful, she was still thinking about me. I honestly did not know how to feel.

My heart was bursting with happiness and pride over the beauty of Bella's soul, and yet breaking into a million pieces over the thought of her being in so much pain and the fact that I was thousands of miles away, unable to do anything to ease her pain.

I heard my flight being called for boarding.

"Bella, darling, I am about to board my plane," I told her, standing up. "I'll be there in twelve hours."

"Okay. I'll be waiting for you," Bella whispered.

She will be waiting for me. "Promise?" I whispered.

Bella hesitated for a second. "I promise."

Bella never made promises she couldn't keep, she hated that.

My heart splintered into pieces as I realized why she hesitated. We were both probably thinking the same thing.

Can she keep her promise?

Can she wait for me?

"I hope you know how much I love you, Bella," I whispered, afraid that it would be the last time I could remind her. "So much, forever is not even enough."

Bella sniffed. "I know, Edward. And I hope you know that I will love you even after my last breath."

A flight attendant motioned for me to board the plane. I looked around and realized that most of the waiting passengers had already boarded. I quickly moved from my spot and followed the attendant. "See you soon, my love. Can I talk to Carlisle?"

"Goodbye, Edward," Bella said sadly before handing the phone to Carlisle. I stepped inside the aircraft and found my seat near the entrance. I sat down and waited for Carlisle.

I could here the flight attendant reminding people to switch off their cellular phones.

A second later, Carlisle answered the phone. "Edward."

"Carlisle, I'm on the way," I said urgently. I hesitated for a moment. "If I can't make it on time, change her." With that, I snapped my phone shut and settled for the long ride home.

It was not until about six hours into the flight when I began to feel very anxious. I couldn't stand just sitting there, doing nothing.

What if I never did make it on time? What if Carlisle couldn't change her for some reason?

What if Bella never lived to smile at me again?

To look at me with eyes full of love, full of hope?

I couldn't even begin to imagine a world without Bella.

True, I had lived for a century without Bella. But the moment she entered my life, everything changed.

Everything was about Bella.

Bella was my world, she was my entire world.

Without her, I had no world.

Simply, I knew I would cease to exist. I would _want_ to cease to exist.

I leaned back against my seat, closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. I did not know how much more waiting I could have taken. Sitting in the plane was positively driving me over the edge, and yet I knew it was faster than running thousands of miles to another continent.

I closed my eyes all throughout the remainder of the flight, ignoring anything the flight attendants offered me. I was the first person out of the aircraft when the plane finally landed in Washington. I made my way out of the airport, walking as fast as humanly possible.

Finally out of the airport, I quickly made my way to the nearest forest I could find and ran all the way to Forks, with nothing but Bella on my mind.

I had to get home on time, I just had to.

Because I don't know what would happen if Bella—if Bella died.

I rushed home with all that I had. After some miles and a whole lot of anticipation, the mansion in Forks finally came into view. I swore my heart could have thudded in hope.

Alice's thought was the first thing that greeted me as I burst through the front door. _Oh goodness, thank God, Edward's finally here!_

"Edward's here, Bella," Emmett gently told Bella. _We're up in your room, Edward._

I ran up to my room as fast as I could, practically flying up the stairs. I barged into my room, eyes wide with fear and anxiety.

I strained to listen, stopping my breath as I searched for the sound I was so anxious to hear.

It was very faint, very weak. But I heard it.

I breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of Bella's heartbeat.

I couldn't see Bella, but I could hear the whirring sound of machines. Everybody was gathered around the bed, each head turning to look at me as I stepped into the room.

_Oh, Edward._ Esme looked as if she was about to cry as she ran towards me and embraced me tightly. _I can't stand seeing Bella like this anymore._

I patted Esme's shoulder, and gently broke free from her embrace. I walked slowly towards the bed. Carlisle stepped to the side as I got to Bella's bedside, giving me more than enough space.

Seeing Bella, my heart did not just break. It was shattered to a million pieces.

Bella looked small and frail lying on the bed. Her eyes were closed, but the bluish circles around them were very evident. There was an oxygen mask covering her nose and mouth, and every few minutes she would suddenly gasp for breath. Machines were attached to her as well, monitoring her vital signs.

For the first time in my entire existence, I felt so helpless.

My Bella was dying.

I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe. I was frozen in place, staring at my beautiful wife. My heart breaking into a million pieces with each pained breath she took.

_Edward, do something now! _Alice.

"Edward? Is that you?" Bella suddenly whispered, her eyes fluttering open. Her eternal brown eyes.

"Yes, darling," I managed to choke out. "I'm here. I'm here."

A tear slipped down her right cheek. "I promised I would wait for you."

I nodded, unable to speak further. I gently brushed her hair from her face and kissed her forehead.

"I'm so tired, Edward," Bella whispered, again closing her eyes. "Will you sing for me?"

In the far corner of the room, I could hear Alice stifle a sob. She and Esme were sobbing silently, as Jasper consoled them. Emmett and Rosalie were standing near the bed, watching me. Carlisle was behind me, ready to do anything.

"Sleep, darling," I said in a hushed tone. "Don't be afraid, I'm here. We are all here." I began to sing Bella's lullaby.

The heart monitor started to beep as Bella's heart beat started to weaken.

She was slipping away. I knew she was slipping away.

I had to act now. But what if I didn't do it right?

What if I ended up killing her instead?

Carlisle put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it meaningfully. _It's time, son. She's going._

I looked into his compassionate eyes and all apprehensions left me. I knew Carlisle would never allow anything bad to happen to Bella.

I leaned into Bella's ear. "I love you, Bella, always and forever."

I kissed her cheek, her neck, her collar bone.

And then I opened my mouth, and sank my teeth into her warm skin.


	26. For All Eternity

**A/N: Sooo sorry it took so long. I've been swamped with work, as usual. Anyway, this chapter is just to tie the loose ends. If I wrote about Bella's power, how she was as a newborn, etc. -- one chapter wouldn't be enough. So I decided to save that for the sequel – if I ever decide to write one, what with my busy schedule. So, anyway, Here goes the last chapter.**

**26 – For All Eternity**

~ Bella ~

This must be how it felt like to die.

I have never been in so much pain. Never.

Every part of my being burned.

I tried to open my eyes. But I couldn't. My eyes felt the heaviest they had ever been.

I tried to breathe in. For some reason, I couldn't. I couldn't breathe.

I tried to swallow. My throat burned. The pain was excruciating. It spread throughout my entire body like wildfire.

I truly must have died and gone to hell.

Edward was wrong. My soul wasn't as beautiful as he thought it to be – he should have changed me. We could have spent forever together.

From a distance, I could hear very faint voices. The voices sounded familiar, yet I couldn't make out the people speaking. I could make sense of what they were saying, either.

I tried to open my eyes again, and failed miserably.

This wasn't dying, this had to be worst. I was in so much pain, I couldn't move, I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't even breathe. Was this what dying was like for everybody?

I stopped fighting and gave in to the pain, losing myself into a dreamless reverie.

I felt the pain lessening as I delved deeper and deeper into nothingness. I stayed there for a while, letting the darkness consume me, letting it shield me from the pain.

After what seemed like an eternity, I felt myself beginning to drift back to consciousness. I tried to stop it, wanting to stay in the darkness where I could feel any pain. But I couldn't. I braced myself, expecting the familiar feel of the pain to come splintering through my body.

But nothing came. No more pain.

I felt light, as if I had never been in any pain.

"It's time," a familiar voice whispered. Yet it was crisp and clear to my ears.

Where was I?

Slowly, I opened my eyes and found myself staring at the most beautiful angel.

My angel smiled gently, his eyes flooding with love, swirling with immense relief. "Hello, my love."

Definitely. Not. Hell.

I stared at Edward in awe, still unable to believe I was seeing him. Him – and more of him. I could not recall seeing him so clearly. He was more beautiful, much more beautiful, than I have ever seen him. This had to be heaven.

I wanted to cry with relief. I thought I had lost him forever. And yet, here he was, right in front of my very eyes.

Immediately, I threw myself at him and embraced him as tightly as I could. We flew for about a good three meters, hit the wall and landed in tangles.

Edward stood and helped me up, laughing. He kissed my forehead, and gave me a tight embrace. I hugged him back just as tightly. He chuckled, gently loosening my hold. "Easy, love. You're pretty strong these days."

I wrinkled my nose in confusion. Pretty strong? But didn't he keep reminding me over and over how fragile I was?

I looked around and realized that we were in Edward's bedroom. Suddenly, I heard a thunder of footsteps. Seconds later, the whole family piled into the room.

"Is she awake?" Alice squealed excitedly, pushing through the crowd. "Bella? Bella?"

I laughed, and suddenly stopped at the tinkling sound that came out of my mouth. Was that me? "Right here, Alice!" I called. And then I frowned in confusion.

My voice. It was the same, yet somehow different. It sounded musical, sounded a lot like Alice's.

"Come, Bella," Alice said excitedly from across the room. "I want to show you something. Come fast!"

I ran as fast as I could to Alice, getting to her end in a second or less. Without tripping once.

One by one, the pieces started to come together.

I was strong. I was incredibly fast and graceful.

As soon as I got to Alice, I found myself staring into the mirror she was holding up.

I stared in awe. The girl in the mirror had blood red eyes, was incredibly pale and undeniably exquisitely beautiful.

It took me a moment to realize that the girl in the mirror was me.

_I _was incredibly pale and exquisitely beautiful.

With blood red eyes.

I drew in a little gasp. Of surprise, of pleasure, of uncertainty.

It was unmistakable.

I was a vampire.

_I was a vampire._

I couldn't believe it.

Edward had changed me, after all. Or was it someone else? Carlisle, probably? Or Alice?

I turned to Edward, who was staring at me from across the room. I suddenly wanted to be alone with him, dying to ask him questions.

Where would we live? I hated the thought of leaving Forks, it had grown on me.

What about my family?

Did Charlie know? What about Rene?

A horrid thought crossed my mind – would I lust after their blood?

Edward's eyes met mine, and I could tell he knew what I wanted. "Bella and I are going out for a while," he told Carlisle. He and Carlisle stared at each other, seeming to have one of their wordless conversations.

Carlisle nodded. "Of course."

Edward smiled gratefully. "Don't worry, we'll be back in time."

I looked at him, curious. In time for what?

Before I could ask, someone suddenly hugged me from behind, almost throwing me off-balance. "I'm so happy, Bella! Sisters and best friends -- forever!" Alice squealed, giving me a squeeze.

I smiled. Forever. That sounded nice. Very nice.

"I bet I can beat you at arm-wrestling, Bella," Emmett challenged, ruffling my hair. "Are you up for it?" He grinned devilishly.

I laughed. "Definitely!"

Rosalie smacked Emmett's head. "Is there anything else on your mind besides arm-wrestling?" she scolded. And then she smiled at me – her first genuine smile. "Welcome, Bella."

I smiled back gratefully. I knew Rosalie meant what she said. I could see it in her eyes. Whatever brought on her change of heart, I was grateful. "Thank you, Rose."

Suddenly, I felt a blanket of warmth come over me. I looked at Jasper suspiciously, who laughed and sauntered over to me. He gave me a little hug. "Welcome to the family, Bella. The vampire family."

Before I could say anything, Edward took my hand and pulled me gently. "Maul her later, guys. You have forever to do that," he said with a laugh.

We headed for the door, passing by Carlisle and Esme on the way. Esme reached out and gave me a tight squeeze. "I'm so happy for you, Bella. Welcome."

I could feel Esme's motherly love for me, and I couldn't help but feel lucky I had a wonderful new mom. I knew she loved me just as much as Rene did. "Thanks, Esme. You know I'm just as happy."

Carlisle gave me a hug, and patted my head affectionately. "I'm happy everything turned out the way we all wanted it to. Welcome to the vampire world, Bella." His eyes were full of compassion, and radiated the same happiness as Esme's.

"Thank you for everything, Carlisle," I said sincerely. Truly, Carlisle had compassion for everything and everyone.

Even though forever with Edward was a dream come true, I could not help but feel a little overwhelmed by everything. I mean, one minute I was totally ready to die; the next thing I knew, I was waking up to immortality. As a vampire.

Not that I had a problem being one, no way.

It was just one of those times when my head was a little too questioning for its own good.

What would Charlie say when he found out? Was I supposed to tell him?

Would I even get to see him again?

Weren't newborn vampires supposed to lust for human blood like crazy? I shivered at the thought of killing a human.

Had I truly lost my soul?

Was Edward happy to be with me forever?

I squeezed Edward's hand as we left the room. He threw a reassuring smile my way, his eyes telling me that everything was somehow perfect.

It was not until we stepped out to the balcony that I realized it was nighttime. It was a beautiful night, the sky blanketed with stars. I walked ahead of Edward, entranced by the beauty of the night sky. I rested my hands on the banister, all the while gazing at the stars.

Edward encircled me in his arms, embracing me from behind. He rested his chin on my shoulder. "See those stars?"

"Mm-hmm," I said softly, entwining my fingers with Edward's.

"For as long as they twinkle in the heavens," he whispered, pausing to kiss my ear. "I will be by your side."

At his words, I felt the butterflies in my stomach flutter.

Forever with Edward by my side – I couldn't imagine a more beautiful forever. Forever with Edward by my side was perfect.

For me.

But what about Edward? Was he happy?

Did he really want to change me? Or did he just feel sorry for me?

Damn, these insecurities. Did normal vampires have insecurities too, or was it just me?

I knew I would never find out just wondering. I had to ask him. I had to ask him if he was happy, if he loved me just the same.

I gently loosened Edward's embrace, keeping in mind that I was stronger than him. I whirled around, and found myself staring into his golden eyes.

Swimming with love. Shimmering with happiness. So much happiness.

Suddenly, my words died in my throat. I wanted to smack myself. I didn't even need to ask him. The answers were right there in his butterscotch eyes – all the love I could ever ask for, all the happiness to wash out my doubts.

Edward looked into my eyes, and I felt myself drowning in them. He smiled wistfully. "I will really miss your chocolate eyes, Bella. They were the most beautiful I have ever seen." Edward paused and searched my eyes. "But I'm sure golden eyes will suit you even better."

I frowned, suddenly remembering my red eyes. I looked like a monster. What was Charlie going to say?

Charlie!

"Edward, what about Charlie? Where is he? Does he know?" I demanded. Charlie adored the Cullens, that was a known fact. But would he hold the same regard if he knew they had turned me into a vampire?

It suddenly occurred to me that I had no idea who changed me. Before Edward could answer my question about Charlie, I fired another one. "Who changed me?" I whispered.

"What about Rene? What about school? What about – what about food?" The questions poured out, as the truth of it all began to sink in. "Oh, my God. Am I going to kill a human?"

Edward laughed. "You look bewildered, sweetheart. Let's start with the simplest." He kissed the tip of my nose. "I changed you."

My heart lurched. It meant the world to me that Edward had finally decided to spend forever with me – it meant even more that it was him who did it. Of the entire family, I knew it was only Carlisle who had enough control to change someone without killing.

Edward changing me had to be difficult.

As if he could read my mind, Edward smiled. "Yes, it was difficult. Very difficult. Your blood has been the most appealing I have ever smelled in my entire existence. Tasting it, I did not want to stop."

Edward looked into my eyes, almost shamefully.

"What made you stop?" I whispered, staring right back into his eyes.

The shame had now disappeared, it had been replaced with love and pure joy. "I knew I could never live without you," he answered simply. "Our love – that's where I found the will to stop. I would never hurt you for anything or anyone, Bella. Never. I would rather writhe in pain and die than hurt you."

My eyes felt hot. I thought I was going to cry. I blinked, and realized that my eyes were dry. I remembered – vampires couldn't cry. I threw my arms around Edward and hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Edward. Thank you so much."

Edward kissed my hair. And then he chuckled and loosened my hold of him. "Careful, darling. You've got the newborn thing going on."

Immediately, I dropped my arms. "Sorry, I forgot. I got caught up in the moment," I admitted sheepishly.

Edward laughed. "Even as a vampire, you amuse me." He ruffled my hair affectionately.

I was a vampire. I smiled. "What made you decide to change me? Did you ever find Abbott?"

Edward's eyes laughed with him. "No, I roamed all of London trying to find him, and I never did. Seemed like I was always at the wrong place, at the wrong time. But he found me. I was hurrying to get home to you because Alice said you were getting too sick. That's when he found me and told me that you didn't have to lose your soul. Even if I changed you, you can regain your soul."

My eyes widened. "I can?"

Edward nodded. "We can all regain our souls with how we live our existence as vampires."

I would spend forever with Edward, and still have a shot at a beautiful afterlife. And Edward – I looked at his beautiful face so full of love – he would get the same chance.

"Wow," I whispered. "That's truly amazing. All the good you've done – they won't go to waste. Carlisle, Esme, Alice -- everyone. I'm so happy for all of you."

Edward chuckled as he traced my face with his finger. "For all of us," he corrected me.

"For all of us," I repeated, feeling chills run down my spine. I was one of them. And then I remembered. "What about Charlie?"

"Alice said Charlie was by your side during your—" Edward broke off, frowning. I could tell he didn't feel comfortable saying deathbed. "During your struggle."

I smiled at his choice of words. "Yes, I remember Charlie only came home the night before I died. Well, was dying. I heard him pleading Carlisle to take care of me until my last breath. He said he couldn't bear to watch his princess die." I wanted to cry at the memory. I knew Charlie was in so much pain, and I was causing it.

Edward took my hand and squeezed it. "After I changed you, Charlie called. He wanted to know how you were doing. I told him we were flying you to Alaska to get treated, that Carlisle knows someone there who can cure you."

"Did he buy it?" I wondered.

"Yes," Edward said. "I think it was because he was desperate. He would try anything to have you cured. He promised to call Rene and fill her in on everything."

I sighed. I didn't like lying to my parents. But it was impossible to let them know the truth. "Will I get to see them?"

Edward smiled. "Of course, sweetheart. When you're ready."

When I'm ready. When the sight of my eyes wouldn't make them think I've turned into a monster. When the scent of their blood wouldn't make me want to scratch their throats and drink.

When will that be?

Will I be strong enough to be like Edward and the rest of the family?

"Edward," I said, the feeling of desperation creeping to my voice. "What if I'm not strong enough to resist?"

What if the bloodlust was too strong for me to resist?

I didn't want to kill anyone. Never.

Edward searched my eyes and apparently saw the fear. He pulled me close, enveloping me in a reassuring embrace. "You are, Bella, you are."

I looked up at him. "How do you know for sure?"

Edward smiled. "See how Carlisle is extra compassionate?"

I nodded.

"When he was human, he was already compassionate towards other people. It didn't go away when he was changed. Instead, it was magnified. The same is true of Esme – she has always wanted to be the best mother when she was human. Now she radiates with motherly love." Edward paused and searched my face. "You, my love, were one of the most selfless people I knew. And that, ultimately, is what will make you resist."

Selfless. Will I still be selfless and think about others over my lust for blood?

But Edward spoke with so much conviction that it was hard not to believe him. Hell, I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe him so bad.

"I sure hope so," I whispered. I took a deep breath to calm myself. "So what's next? We can't stay here, can we? Not while I'm still learning." As much as I hated to leave Forks, I was beginning to hope we would go somewhere far away. Somewhere with lesser people. Somewhere with the smallest possibility of me killing someone.

Edward shook his head. "You're right. There are too many people here, it will be too risky for a newborn. Which is why we're flying to Alaska. We will be staying there until you feel you're ready to come back."

"Who's we?" I wondered. Was the entire family coming?

"You and me, Carlisle and Esme, Alice and Jasper," Edward answered. "Rose and Emmett are going to tour Europe. Rose wants another honeymoon. Of course, Emmett would never say no to a honeymoon -- even though they've had enough honeymoons to last them through eternity." He smiled slyly.

I laughed. Typical Emmett. "They don't mind moving?" I asked worriedly. I knew the Cullens loved the Forks life.

"Not at all," Edward said reassuringly. "Everybody is happy we got to change you. Especially Alice. Jasper, too, is pretty excited. He loves battling with a newborn. And Emmett, of course, wants to try arm wrestling with you. Rose and Alice bet he can't beat you. Carlisle and Esme want what's best for you and will support you whenever, wherever." He touched the tip of my nose with his fingertip. "Everyone loves you. So stop worrying."

"Wow," I said, smiling. I was definitely lucky to have such a supportive new family. Whoever said in-laws were so terrible have never met the Cullens.

"We have to leave for the airport soon," Edward said, glancing back into the house. And then he smiled and peeked over the banister. "But there's something I want you to try first."

I looked at him suspiciously. "What?"

Edward cocked his head to one side and smiled my favorite smile. "Do you trust me?"

"With my life."

He took my hand and pulled me gently. Before I could even protest, Edward had climbed over the banister. "Jump, Bella!"

And before I knew it, we were holding hands in the air. The woosh of air felt terrific, adding to the adrenaline rush I was feeling. We landed the ground with a thud, with Edward's hand still in mine.

"That was incredible!" I exclaimed with a laugh. "Let's do it again!"

I heard the rest of the family laughing from inside the house. Magnified hearing – definitely cool.

"Come on," Edward said, pulling my hand. And then he took off in a run. "Bet you can't catch me!"

"Hey, you didn't give me fair warning!" I called out, dashing after him.

The wind in my face was incredible. My eyesight was even more incredible. It was like everything was crystal clear, even though I was running at an unbelievable speed. A few more seconds, I had caught up with Edward.

"Newborns are such cheaters," Edward teased, running beside me.

I laughed. "Can I help it if you're a slowpoke?" Showing off, I added a burst of speed, leaving Edward trailing behind.

"Stop at the clearing," Edward called out, only a few meters away from me. I remembered he was the fastest runner in the family.

I halted when I got to the little passageway leading to the clearing, waiting for Edward.

I was smiling when he stopped right in front of me. "Show off," he said, playfully tickling me and kissing my forehead. And then he took my hand and pulled me out into the clearing.

I was about to suck in my breath, when I realized that I hadn't been breathing. The beauty of it all was amazing. It was astounding yet familiar. I looked out to the horizon and realized it was beginning to get light. I took it all in – the green grass wet with the morning dew, the peaceful lake, the wild array of beautiful flowers everywhere, the rolls of hills in the distance – and it suddenly hit me.

We were at the meadow.

Our meadow.

Only, seeing it through a vampire's eyes – it was more than astonishing. No wonder Edward loved to come here.

Edward wrapped his arms around me from behind, and planted a kiss on my cheek. "Like the view, Mrs. Cullen?"

I smiled. I liked the sound of that. "Very much, Mr. Cullen."

We stood in each other's arms, staring at all the beauty around us. Was there a place more beautiful than this?

"Look, love," Edward said, pointing to the east. "The sun is rising."

I looked to where he was pointing, and was again amazed at the beauty. The sun was beginning to rise from behind the rolls of hills, the first of its sunrays making the hills glow and the dew of the grass sparkle.

"Come," Edward said, taking my hand and pulling me gently. He led me to the edge of the lake that was beginning to glisten in the sun. "Wait."

After a few minutes, I felt the sunlight hit me. Whoever said sunlight hurt vampires was completely wrong – the sunlight felt wonderful on my skin. Truly wonderful – I could lie under the sun for ages. I closed my eyes, wanting to bask in all the sunlight. It was relaxing, it made me feel at peace, making all my worries disappear.

"Bella," Edward said, touching my arm. I opened my eyes. "Look into the water."

I walked over to the very edge and looked in. I gasped.

Our reflections. They were amazing. We were sparkling.

I moved in the sunlight, my skin sparkled like little diamonds. Wow.

Edward watched me, his eyes shining with so much happiness. He held out his arms and I eagerly stepped in. He embraced me for the longest time. Our bodies fit together perfectly, like pieces of a puzzle.

In Edward's arms, I felt safe.

In Edward's arms, I felt love.

I wanted to stay there forever.

I pulled back a little so that I could look at Edward's face. It was sparkling in the sun, looking even more striking.

Edward was silent as he stared at me for a long time. "Do you know how absolutely breathtaking you are?" he asked, tracing the line of my nose with his finger. His finger traced a trail along my eye, my cheek, my jawline.

"I could say the same thing about you," I said. I brought my hand up to touch his face, trying to memorize the feel of every intricate detail. "My Greek god."

Edward chuckled. And then he sighed -- a sigh of contentment -- and cupped my face in both his hands. "I love you, Bella. So damn much. You have completed my life in countless ways. I could never thank the heavens enough for you."

"I love you, too, Edward," I whispered. "Forever with you is all I need. I could never ever ask for more."

And I as looked into his golden eyes, there was joy. There was contentment. There was so much love.

I knew every dream I had was finally coming true.

I knew all I needed was this.

Right in this very moment was where I wanted to be.

I have all I've waited for – and I would be loving him for the rest of forever.

I would be loving him for all eternity.

**A/N: And with that, I end my very first fan fiction. I hope you all had fun reading this story as much as I had fun writing it. Thank you soo much for all your reviews, especially those who reviewed from the very beginning of my fic. It's funny, I remember posting my story for the very first time and always checking for hits and reviews – I was afraid no one would want to read it! Hahaha. So thank you so much for the reviews, alerts and faves – they mean to me. Really. :)**

**I'm kinda sad about ending the fic already, my Edward and my Bella have somewhat become a part of me. But hey, I can always write more, right? Until then.**

**xoxo,**

**twilightgossipgirl**


	27. Untitled

Thanks so much, everyone.

I actually have a little free time now so I was thinking of writing another story. It will still be an Edward/Bella story, of course. :)

I'm still trying to put together the pieces, but here's the basic scoop: The Cullens are royalty in London. Bella runs away from Forks, goes to London, and somehow ends up at the Cullens'. Edward is royalty, Bella is a commoner. Edward is the Duke's son, Bella is the Duke's servant. Edward is a vampire, Bella is human.

I hope you guys will read my next story! I'll keep you posted. :)


	28. Last

Hey, guys! I finally got around to writing my second story. It's still pretty rough, I only have the Prologue. You can read it here: h t t p : / / w w w . f a n f i c t i o n . n e t / s / 6 2 7 2 1 1 7 / 1 /

Hope you guys like it! =)


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